Monday, December 31, 2012


Happy New Year

What a beautiful day, just gorgeous. The sun, the breeze. I had to wear a t-shirt, like some old nana, when I went for my swim. "That's it gran, cover up the sun is mighty powerful." 
Too much sun and swimming all week, I am beginning to feel the sting when the sun hits me. It is the curse of fabulous pale skin.

Still, the water was just perfect, once I got under.

There is something magical about a fresh country river. There is a certain tuning into the earth, a feeling that we are all one entity, ashes to ashes, of the earth. I always feel that. It is the silence, apart from the wind, apart from the splash of the water, apart from the call of a bird.

I've taken lots of photos, but I only have an iPad with me and it refuses to upload anything into blogger. Oh we'll.

It is the perfect temperature, for shorts and t-shirt... you know, up near Byron. I've worn one pair of shorts all week.

It is Tropical Fruits tonight, so we'll see how the temperature holds out, nudge wink.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Lazing Around in our Bliss

We swam in the river for the afternoon, with our own beach, lounge chairs and shoes to protect our feet from the scattered rocks on the river bed. The sun shone down brightly, my skin may have a red hue, I can, perhaps, wince, feel it.

Sam can't swim, so I taught him to float. He mastered it quickly and then he just wanted to practice floating on his back, beneath the dappled sun light spread across the surface of water, which sparkled in full sun light. Just his face showing... like he was learning it, catching up... very pleased with himself. I love it when he smiles like that.

We went to see Les Mis last night at the movies, at the local multiplex, in the nearest, biggest country town. Everyone was scrubbed up nice and shiny and they all looked over exposed to vitamin D. Fresh. New. Corn fed.

I didn't really care for the stage play that much, despite seeing it several times, but the movie I liked, it made all much clearer. Yay. (Perhaps, I could be a philistine after all?) Russell Crowe was 
stupendously awful, (editors note - his voice was stupendously awful) but apart from him, the rest of them were good. What were they thinking when Russell Crowe was cast? 

How cute was Marius, though, not to mention that amazing voice.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Soft and Green


I'm sitting on the veranda over looking the rain forest just in front of me. It is still, early. I could reach out and touch the trees between my finger tips. It is beautiful, a cacophony of green. The frogs, I think, are croaking. There is a lot of bug noise anyway, over yonder... like ringing bells. The birds are singing. They are, kind of, chattering like monkeys, actually. Some birds call with a beautiful whistle, some squeak, some squark, some sound like a drop of water falling. I'm waiting for the giant lizard thing to crawl onto the veranda and demand her maggots, with trepidation. Nobody else is awake. Will she eat me? It is beautiful here. Lush. Remote. Wet in the air. Vividly green. It smells like a river bank. Mossy tree roots, dissolving. Bracken. A carpet of leaves and twigs, damp, soft, like wool slippers. There is mist on the furthest mountain tops, floating above the tree tops. 

Tuesday, December 25, 2012


Up Up And Away Xmas Day

First up, was Lunch with my brother and sister in the country Xmas day. It was the first time Sam met my brother and his wife, and my nieces. He didn't even seem to be nervous. I used to hate the first family meetings, well not hate, but I was certainly nervous before hand. I think I have always had low self esteem... Kind of.

Anyway, my sister had enough Santa hats for everyone to wear, my only question was who has an infinite number of red pointy hats trimmed in white fur? Apparently, my sister. I could get mine to stand up like a giant red cone. It is a skill.

Funny old families, everyone's got one, for better, or for worse. I like mine.
I got a Leung book, some Danish biscuits and Sam got chocolates. The food was good, the usual fare, it's something you can rely on in life, one of the few. Death. Taxes. Good times.

Then it was back home and off to the airport for a plane ride to NSW. The hinterland in northern NSW.

The plane took off and I opened my obligatory car mag and started to read. Two hours, I thought. Yay. I had felt tired earlier before we left for the airport. So I lay the magazine down and the next thing I heard was, blah, blah, blah, we are now preparing for our decent, please put you seats to their upright position. Its a skill. Lovely.


Friday, December 21, 2012

The last party

We had the rest of Guido’s crystals to do.

And a good time was had by all.

He, he.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Lunch Date

I'm off to have lunch with Sam in the city. I didn't seem him last night, it was one of the nights he spent at his place. So, I'm off to have lunch with him, so I don't miss him too much. Lovely, isn't it.

I think we are eating Korean. Yum.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Changing Weather

What a change in weather. One day it is hot, hot, hot, the next day it is humid and overcast. I'm sure it is messing up my moods, has to be. I'm sure it is detracting from my holidays, bound to be. My holidays? Do you like that? Sam asks me when I'm not on holidays, if I ever mention that to him. Ha, ha. Usually, accompanied by "that" look. Tilt of the head, raise of the eyebrows, mouth pursed just so.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

And The Sunset In The Dog Park Was Glorious


It Was A Glorious Day

It was a glorious day, sparkling, shiny and I had nothing in particular to do. The sky was blue, radiant, glorious. So I headed out with my camera. I had lunch in Carlton and ended up lying in the park in Lygon street, falling asleep for a while, staring up at the blue sky. Lovely, really... well, so Sam said, you know, those of us being stuck in the office all day.














Monday, December 17, 2012

Anthony in ICU

Anthony ended up in ICU in an induced coma in a bigger hospital due to the pain he was in. That was last Thursday, the day after I saw him. It was hardly surprising to me, even if it was a little shocking to hear, as he'd been in great pain when I had seen him and he hadn't looked really good. I was about to go and visit him with Sam when Mark called.

Of course, there was a flurry of messages backwards and forwards. How could this happen? Everyone was really worried. Please, please be okay.

Apparently, he has just been bought out of it today and is conscience for the first time since last week.

He had a tube in every orifice, which are slowly being removed. IV drip, catheter, nasal feed tube, the works.

I spoke to him today. 
"Well, haven't you got yourself some attention?"
"Haven't I?"
"Look at me, look at me."
"Like the best of them."
"Are you feeling better?"
"Much."
"Do you know what day it is?"
"No idea."
"It must be lovely?"
"Like a clam."
"Or a plate of them?"
"Indeed."

He says he has to watch his diet.

"So, it is tofu and mountain water from her on out."

"Sadly, yes," he agreed.

Of course, I was meaning that the alcohol will have to stop. No more pissed before lunch.
I guess he knew what I meant.

"When do you get out?"
"I have no idea. I don't even know what day it is, remember?"

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Poppers

I was reading about Amyl Nitrate, or as the Americans, but not the Australian's call it, poppers.

Apparently, amyl nitrate was made illegal in Australia a few years ago, because "the powers that be" thought that had to protect the users from themselves.

So now the manufacturers have gone to another nitrate, I think it is called brutal nitrate, but I may be wrong, it is another nitrate none the less.

In true political style, read stupidity, "they" outlawed amyl nitrate,  from adults who chose freely to use it, which was essentially harmless to the user, for it to be replaced by another nitrate that is suspected of being harmful to the users eye sight.

When will politicians learn to keep out of people's private lives? They are not here for social engineering, they are here to balance the books.

Friday, December 14, 2012

The Cat's Turn... Well, So She Thinks

My cat is really insistent about lying in the middle of the bed and making herself really comfortable. It is as if she is saying you got that other guy, meaning Sam, and you got the slobbery mut, meaning Buddy, and when the two of them aren't here, like last night, she is going to make the most of her turn.

Ah, long legs... and... big paws. 

I tried to slip into bed next to her, late last night, but she wasn't moving a millimetre, not an iota. So I had about 30 centimetres to lie in. She just looked at me with slit eyes and dug her claws into the doona, literally, as if to emphasise that she wasn't moving at all.

Na! Tonight, this is all mine.

You see, she doesn't get to sleep on my bed any more since Sam came along, he doesn't like her on the bed and besides there isn't room for the three of us to stretch out. And now that Buddy is here she doesn't get to sleep in most of the rest of the house either. So, her life has changed quite dramatically in the last few years. Where she once had free reign of the house, sleeping on my bed every night, now he world is greatly diminished.

She just looked at me as if to say, I'm not moving, not a fucking chance.

So, thinking about it, what does that mean? That I am, in fact, at the bottom of the pile? It is what is looks like to me, in her pussy cat mind. I feel kind of guilty for ruining her life, so I don't insist otherwise.

So, I lay there on a quarter of the bed, wedged between her and the wall, trying not to be restless so as to disturb her. I even tried to breath shallowly, so that wouldn't disturb her. She purred loudly, as I squeezed my shoulders together, as though she had won.


Jack called today and offered me some work miles away, way down south where they all spit on the ground and have eye twitches. I told him that it was too far and he offered me more money per hour so I reluctantly accepted. Then he called back and said that the client wanted me to work 6 days, Xmas Eve included. I told him I couldn't work Xmas Eve despite the fact that I told him I'd only be unavailable from Xmas day. Damn! He went back to the client. It is all true, I am going away Xmas day and I am unavailable Xmas Eve, I just didn't tell him because it never occurred to me that he'd, anyone, would ask me to work the Monday of Xmas week. Sam said I should call him back and say I'd do it, until I told him it was Xmas Eve as well. Jack called me back later and told me he'd got someone else. 

He thanked me for the work I'd done all year. He told me that all the clients were happy with me.

I guess I should be happy with that? 

I guess I am.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

The boy with nice eyes and sexy legs... and light bulbs in his hands

I got all my light globes changed today. Yay!

It was a hot day, really hot. Blisteringly hot, me and the bulldog were spending a quiet day indoors on YouTube... you know, as you do. Who is it who doubts global warming? Who? When we are getting these frighteningly hot days. Okay, frighteningly hot may not exactly be the right expression. It is enough for me to ignore calls from Jack with work, however. I couldn't get dressed up in work clothes and go out into that. Okay, so the cat shedding is enough to make me ignore calls from Jack, okay true. But it is still fucking hot, none the less.

Latish in the afternoon the doorbell sounded. Actually, it made the strangled, half hearted, giving up on life kind of noise it has been making lately as the batteries are flat, the kind of noise, I am sure, I've been making lately.

"Blartttttt."

I don't need to listen to carefully, or pay too much attention, as the bulldog scampers off to the door whenever anyone is there.
He's funny, he comes and sits next to me and all I have to do is rub him gently on the top of the head and he leans in against me and then he slides to the floor... but, I digress.

Standing at the door was NZ Paul wanting to replace my incandescent light globes with the more environmentally friendly new type. I think I was a little, unexpectedly, dazzled by his beauty, so naturally I said yes.

Of course, splutter, splutter, come in? (Am I going to regret this when I have white light blazing through my house... which, just by the way, I didn't)

He had beautiful eyes and a nice smile and it was hot so he was wearing shorts and he had nice legs. When he reached up to change the light globes, his t-shirt rode up and his undies showed above the waistband of his shorts and yes, I looked. Nice it was too.

And I have new globes throughout the house.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Really cool Veedub


Anthony is in hospital

I've just been to visit Anthony in Maroondah Hospital. He called me this morning to tell me where he was. So, I got in my car and headed out there to surprise him. I was going to buy him a flower, some terrible thing from 7 11, just because the thought amused me, but in the end I didn't, I forgot.

He told me a week ago that he thought he had pneumonia and I hadn't called him since. I left him a message yesterday, 

"I'm a bad friend, I know, if you are not dead call me." Ha, ha. 

I didn't really believe the pneumonia thing, I wasn't sure. Anthony has had a touch of the hypercondria about him, since he went nuts in the naughties. Twice.

I'm not exactly sure what is wrong with him, as I had to pump the info out of him, he wasn't very forth coming. An inflamed pancreas, apparently, maybe caused by gaul stones, he was told this morning, or maybe caused by alcohol. 
I smiled down at him and tried not to smile too broadly. Alcohol? Considering he is often pissed just after breakfast, my money was on that. But, he takes it so seriously and he didn't seem to know why he was in hospital. Shrug. Who would know.
A wine chaser with your cereal? doesn't that kind of give it away? You know, just a wild guess? It doesn't give you a clue? at all? Really? Nothing?

When I got there, the doctor was trying to find a vein to input a drip to feed him. The curtain was drawn. Apparently, all his veins were collapsing, and the IV wouldn't catch. (I don't even really know what that means? How can a vein collapse without you dying? Or losing a limb?)

I headed down to the cafe for junk food, yum yum, while the doctor punctured Anthony's arm. Stab, stab. I congratulated myself all the way for having quit smoking again last week. Did I tell you? Last Monday.

Fuck hospitals are awful and I must remind myself to be healthy to stay out of them, every time I want to relapse. All that faded cream paint work and pale blue accessories. Yuk!


When I got back, Anthony was catheterised and attached to a drip and was in immense pain. He wanted a cigarette, but couldn't go as the drip was now in his foot. The nurse offered him patches and I tried to encourage him, but he declined grumpily.

It was an altogether unpleasant experience for me, so you can imagine how he must be feeling. Terrible, by the pain etched across his face. I had to leave him, as he wasn’t really able to cope with me being there.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012


So? Why did she kill herself?

I don't get the whole 2DayFm prank call drama. I've just listened to a recording of the phone call itself, and the 2 DJ's barely said anything to the nurse Jacintha Saldanha. She pretty quickly put the call threw to another nurse who gave out Kate's details.

I'm pretty sure I've got that right, that I listened to the full recording and not some edit. The nurse in question answered the phone and then transferred the call. It made me think, is that really it? That's what happened? If that is it, I think it is kind of weird, all the fuss that has been made.

I just don't get it? It is as if the whole world wants to have a drama about it. It is as if common sense has been abandoned completely in favour of sensationalism.

If that is it and I do, in fact, have it right, I'd say that the prank call had very little to do with the nurses' suicide.

Poor thing, she hanged herself. Threw a rope over a roof beam, or something and stepped off the stool. Crack! What was she thinking? No really, what was she thinking? Two kids 16 and 14 now don't have a mother, over a stupid news story that we will have all forgotten soon enough. The world has a 5 second memory for such things, no really it does.

Kate will give birth to the new royal baby and the 2 DJ's will be working on radio somewhere else, no doubt, and the newspapers will be reporting the latest scandal with reknewed relish, who David Beckham is up, or what Charlie Sheen has put up his nose and when, if, the name Jacintha Saldanha is mentioned, most of us will ask, Who? I know that name from somewhere? No, don't tell me, I'll get it in a minute? Give me a clue. It is sad, cruel really.

I guess I don't get the whole suicide thing really. No, I do get it, it is your life, end it when you want. But really, my warped sense of humour would stop me. Once that rope went over the beam and came thudding down to the floor again, probably bonk on the top of my head, I'm sure I'd laugh and think, You twat. Or, if I had the pills in my hand I'd probably think, Oh how Marilyn Monroe do you really want to get. Or something. I guess, I just don't get depression.


So why did the nurse kill herself, when she, really, had very little input into the whole thing? I'm not really sure. It is a very sad thing, however.

Friday, December 07, 2012


The day before it is a million degrees

It is hot today, actually, really hot. Tomorrow, it is going to be a billion degrees and the country side is going to burn like hades, so say the (never exaggerating for ratings) news outlets.

It was 12 degrees on Wednesday and tomorrow it is going to be 39 degrees, even for Melbourne's notoriously changeable weather, that is extreme. Global warming anyone?

I just didn't realise it was going to be hot today. I might put on shorts and a singlet and head out into the sunshine with my camera... you know, before the world burns tomorrow.

I've put my camera battery on to charge. I guess I should have a shower, you know, start the day clean. Ha ha, it is already what? 11am.

The bulldoggy is lying outside in the sun, pity he is impossible to walk on a lead, otherwise I could take him with me. But, no. Sadly, no. Into your kennel fat boy and keep the barking to a minimum, you don't want to upset the mentally challenged just beyond the fence.

It really is a lovely day, don't get me wrong. I need a skateboard and a pair of Raybands and a Husky to pull me through the city on my photographic mission.

Wednesday, December 05, 2012


Who'd Have Thought An Arab Boy With Fat Fingers Could Be Considered Sexy?

My lovely, bear, hairdresser put smelly goop in my hair at the end of the haircut. Splosh, splosh, just like that. And then he sprayed me with cologne. Squirt. Squirt. Yuk. WTF? Why? Shouldn't he ask first, before he does that? 

Funny how I just sit passively and say nothing. He can't even see me cringe. Silent as a mouse.

He's never done that before? I think someone must have told him to upmarket the service. Oo! I stank all night. Pppff! Shake of the head. Sam told me to go and have a shower, as I smelt like a bedouin brothel.

My hairdresser still touches me gently with his fat fingers, like he is massaging my skin, or testing to see how I feel, or just enjoying the thrill of skin on skin. I still find the way he touches me so gently to be kind of erotic, when I close my eyes and it is all I can feel, his finger tips, my skin. I'm sure he has a "quiet thing" for me. I reckon, he does, you can sense such things, don't you think? The energy is different.

A fat Arab boy... who is kind of sexy in a fat, cute way. He is. I reckon he'd look like Homer Simpson in his Y-fronts. Adorable. I like him. He has a nice smile and a really gentle way about him.

I checked myself out in the shop window as soon as I left the shop. Smith Street pulsed gently under the weight of footpath diners eating and drinking and smoking and laughing. Trams rattled and "ding dinged", and the deros asked for money, 

"Got any change, bro?"

I gazed in the shop windows, at my reflection, adjusting my t-shirt with a flex of my shoulders... and smiling, tugging at my fringe gently.

A gentle afternoon, I think. I love this, wandering around the shops just when I feel like it, nothing to do in particular, except to please myself. Free as a bird.

Then it strikes me again. Wow! Is this sustainable? This life of mine? Will there be a price to pay for this one day? Maybe? Shrug. Who cares.

Tuesday, December 04, 2012


Feeling Good

I'm off to have a haircut. I always feel better after a haircut, don't you? It always makes me feel fresh, new and clean. There is always something refreshing about it. Maybe, it is all that attention focussed on you? The single focus of another man's attention falling down upon me from the head down? Maybe? Shrug. I just know I like it.

I've had 3 cigarettes in 3 days, that is not too terrible, now is it? But today, I'm not having any. This is it, quitting day.

A new haircut will sweep out the bad habits and make everything new and clean again. 

Big breath in... I am now a nonsmoker. Ohm!

I've smoked since last weekend, too many indie movies with guys puffing away on cigarettes sexily. Stupid, isn't it. Actually, it was the film Ice Men that made me want to smoke. All those hot men with cigarettes in their mouths.

I had not smoked since the Thursday before Melbourne Cup.

I had smoked, before that, on and off since the end of September, when Mark came down and influenced me to smoke. No, it is not his fault, I am the only one to blame. Blah, blah, blah.
Stupid, I know... but, no more.

Monday, December 03, 2012



Monday Morning

A little Randy Crawford playing softly, my bulldog snoring at my side, my cup warm with coffee, and a handsome boyfriend at work earning the money to pay the bills, lovely. 

Ha ha, I'd hate that, to tell you the truth, someone paying my bills. No thanks, that would just make me feel nervous. I have to be in more control than that.

My boyfriend doesn't have to do any thing more than be handsome... and sweet and nice. And, of course, kind. He needs to tickle my feet from time to time.

Sam tickled my feet this morning, I slid them out from under the doona and he ran his finger tips over the, yum, yum. He's lovely, my Sam, have I mentioned that lately?

Sunday, December 02, 2012

Let's See What Happens Next

I went to visit my mum with my sister Roz. We headed out there early, as my sister had a lunch date to get to afterwards.

I told Roz about my problem with the neighbour. She was on my side, of course, I am her little brother, after all. She was off to meet up with all her lawyer buddies, just coincidentally, who she studied with at uni. She said she would mention it to them, she said she thought that two of them would be able to help me.

So, maybe I'll have a team of lawyers, should this progress any further. My sister and I thought that it probably will, as my neighbour is not rational, she is not taking into account what the laws are, she is just seeing it as an issue that disturbs her. And stupidity seems to run the world now a days, from most politicians and their short term agendas, to climate change deniers, to fear and lies that news services sell.

The council has ruled there is no problem here, almost by the entries on my neighbour's own log. She, herself, noted that there were four days where my dog didn't bark at all.

"We are not interested in pursuing normal dogs that bark like normal dogs do," were essentially the words of the nice council man.

I'd like to say to the neighbour, "I realise you think that the world revolves around you, however it doesn't, the world doesn't work that way." Obviously. But, you know, that is the downfall of the stupid people, today. I guess it is not always the downfall, but certainly the mistake.

Okay, so "stupid people" is a little harsh, you think. So, what would we call it? The 21st century self focus. That modern day self interest? The "me me me" times? I don't know, it is hard to qualify. People think of themselves as the fabulous stars of their own revolving universe and people who put their hands out to interfere with the spin, have to be stopped?

In reality, my response will be a dignified silence. I've told Sam and Shane to say nothing, to give her nothing that she could note down and use against us. If I have to, and I hope it doesn't get to this, I will let my lawyer(s), he he, speak for me.