I got to work just after 8am. Kirin had her hair down.
I got straight into the spreadsheet that didn’t work on Friday. I nearly had it, except for one set of details, so close, before the shit of my regular day started.
Then I had "other people's fuck ups", which, of course, I was told to fix, as I am the end of the line, if you like. Paddington Bear authorised both of them. (there was one last month too, don’t forget, also authorised by Paddington Bear) And there you have it, that is why my job is never going to be fixed. Paddington promised we uphold deadlines/schedules. Oh, I know, this sounds pathetic, but...
Then all the other shit happened.
We had a meeting about one departments “best efforts,” which is not the first time they have been spoken to about their "best efforts." Kirin had all the time in the world for them. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Then she spent the rest of the morning stressing over their requirements (Ineptitude. Kirin has been through this with them before). She pissed around on it until she headed out for a lunch date with someone from staff or, at least, that is what I believed she was doing.
Kirin, clearly, has that sort of day, working schedule, that allows her to suddenly decided to spend 3 hours on something. (On nonsense) A fix she resided over before and, because of which, she should have the answers, (that is her job) or at the very least she should be across it enough to be able to sort it out. Looking as though you have no idea, and then agreeing with everything they put forward, is not what a good manager does.
But my bigger point here is that I am time deficient in my role, I need one and half of me to do my job. I don’t have time for meetings to sort my bosses shit out. Even with Fatty Cake here, no one seems to have grasped this point yet.
Anyway, that all pales into insignificance, with what followed.
Kirin said that she had put in a formal complaint, it’s all cloak and dagger stuff said in whispers, so I miss most of what she says, either I need to get a hearing test, or she needs to get a grip. She did her head gesture, in the direction of where Fat Guts Carol Brady sits, with the scowl, she saves specifically for Fat Guts, so it gave me some idea that she was talking about old Fat Guts, but to tell you the truth, she never said a name, so it could have been anybody. Who knows?
So, I headed home and ate my lunch. I don’t know why, the sun was shining, it was good to escape. (I started smoking again after the weekend. I know)
Kirin hadn’t come back by this point, she was on an errand, I thought, she was running to get lunch. There had been talk of some lunch date, but she may have said, as she left, that she was just going up to say hello and to get some take away salad to bring back to her desk. She over shares.
I was a touch longer than I had anticipated and when I got back neither Fatty Cake nor Kirin were there, so it was like a win. Stupid, really, with the extra hours I do.
Anyway, so I just put my head down and got working. I can feel the avalanche of paperwork heading towards me already.
I think Fatty cake arrived back soon after that. She’d found a jumbo sized bag of chocolates which she was very pleased with.
“I’ll just put them in the middle of the desk, will I?” (Oh yes, like I need them)
Then Kirin arrived back sometime after that. I hadn’t had the feeling that she’d been away too long. She said immediately, “I’m not feeling well, so I am going home.” That was unusual.
Fat Guts Carol Brady was with her, helping her with something, which seemed rather odd. And although I really took no notice, it did seem to me the two of them were being unfamiliarly friendly and I did wonder, be it briefly, as unbelievable as it seemed to me, if those two have been squatting over mirrors and have had a bonding moment, it could be good for morale, but a head fuck for the rest of us, oh, I guess, the rest of us is me.
Then it appeared that Fat Guts Carol Brady was helping Kirin with her things and not just asking a momentary question that was interrupting Kirin gathering her belongings and leaving the building, Fat Guts Carol Brady suddenly seemed to be a part of it.
Kirin started to mouth something and all I got was angry face, so I guessed something was up and it wasn’t just me.
Fat Guts Carol Brady must have cottoned on, as she made herself scarce, but let’s face it, for obvious reasons, that was never going to work well.
Then, Kirin started doing big eyes at me, once she thought Fat Guts Carol Brady was out of eyesight. Kirin was inordinately long picking up her handbag and going home sick for the day, she was stalling, and giving me snatched knowing looks. She may have even started to swear, but appeared to swallow her words when she realised we were being watched. She was loaded to the gunnels with her stuff, dare I say, all of her stuff, a hand bag and five other bags, as she headed off. Turning to me, whenever she thought Fat Guts Carol Brady and Fatty Cake weren’t looking, back doing the big eyes and the ironic smiles. She held her hands out, as if to say... I have no idea really, but she wanted to say something.
Afterwards, I said to Fatty Cake. “What just happened?”
“Oh, what do you mean?” or did she say, “Kirin just went home sick.”
I think it was the latter. “So why did Fat Guts Carol Brady look as though she was walking her out.”
“Oh, I don’t know what you mean,” or did she say, “I didn’t see anything?”
I think it was the latter. Anyway, it was around about this point that I thought, maybe, I had said too much already. Sad, really. But I stopped talking.
Oh, I didn’t see anything? Really? That little, sweet, innocent voice, really? Fatty Cake had no idea. Hum? Sounds really unlikely, but I have no idea. She is another employee after all. But you know what, it was around about this point, I thought that the course with the least resistance, for me, was to not give a shit, so that is what I did. And I did it well.
Fatty cake was very chummy with the M&Ms after that.
Some time later, in a move, in my book, which pretty much blew the “I didn’t see any thing,” routine right out of the water.
She came back from somewhere and she said, “I’ve just had a meeting with Paddington Bear and he is coming over to have a chat to you at 4pm.”
Oh, I don’t know what you mean, my arse!
Paddington Bear was due at 4pm, and he hadn’t arrived by 4.30, I called him to say we could talk tomorrow, buggered if I was giving any more hours, but he was there, so we talked. (Good thing my instincts kicked in and I didn’t put that in an email)
"There are something’s we and Kirin can’t agree on, moving forward, so when you get to such a point, sometimes it is, um, advisable for Kirin and the company to part way. But, anyway, I hope it doesn’t get to that, I like Kirin.” He smiled. “She is taking a couple of days to consider her options. Your job will continue unchanged.”
Apparently, I have Fatty Cake to help me. How many days has she actually been here? And not been sick?