I got up at 8am and promised myself that I
wouldn’t smoke pot until after I’ve had lunch with Mum, Gill and the two brats,
at the Windsor.
So far I’ve only had one.
But I may have made a date with a wog-boy
named Danni, on gaydar, just now. Maybe? Who knows? He just messaged me that he
loved getting his arse fucked, he hoped I did too.
Message – (PJ) How’s your cock?
Danni 04xx 5xx 0xx.
I’m trying to fill the gaps in my journal.
The cat’s laying on my feet. I’m shivering
with cold. The joint and the thought of sex. I wonder sometimes if I’m a sex
addict. I think about it all the time, with whatever guy I meet. It’s getting
worse too, not better. I’ve even been flirting with the guys from work. Steven
in IT, Ben the lawyer and Elvis Grace, in our department.
I think that Steven is flirting back, ever
since I stared at his crotch in the lift. I’m sure he got surprised, slightly
embarrassed, but liking it, smile across his face. I reckon the blood flushed
equally in his cock, as it did in his cheeks. He’s been far too friendly and
attentive, ever since. I’m a sucker for an English accent.
Elvis I’ve stopped with, the response
seemed to evaporate. But he’s sexy, I’d like to suck his cock and lick his sexy
arse. Blow him. Have his spoof on my hands. I like to stretch his arse open
with my fingers, as I listened to him moan. He’d have a sexy, hairy arse.
Ben always gazes at me so intently
whenever we talk, like there is so, so, much more he wants to say… it takes my
breath away and just lately it has rendered me mute in his presence.
Last Saturday night, after everyone had
gone to bed, long after Castin had switched off his light, when I was working
on my piece to be sent to the Melbourne Weekly Times, after I coughed, Castin’s
light came back on. I sneaked out I the atrium and tried to peek at him through
his curtains. I scuffed my shoes deliberately, as you can hear some one out
side, when you are in the bedroom. But I couldn’t be too loud, as Julien was
sleeping in the front room. I went to his toilet and tried to peek through the
crack in his door. I tired not to be too silent, hoping he’d hear me and open
the door. I couldn’t just push his door open, not with out some sort of invite.
I should have just pushed it open and looked in. I could have just said I was
going to turn the light off, if he was asleep. I reckon he was up for it, but I
didn’t have the nerve. Tom always says at this point, that I have too much
class. (He means for my own good. That is Tom speaking and not me) I didn’t feel classy stumbling around out side his windows, trying to
get a look at him. If the dope hadn’t been down in the cottage and I’d got more
stoned, I probably would have. Probably would have got his hard cock in my
hand. He got a surprised, slightly embarrassed, but liking it, smile across his
face, whenever he caught me looking at his delectable bulge. He spread his legs
on the couch Friday night, as we all gazed at the TV. He played around with it,
just slowly, gently, not so any one else could see him. And Sunday morning,
over breakfast, he gazed down at my crotch, as we greeted one another hello.
And then he smile coyly, when I did the same thing back to him. He just turned
to face me front on, as he ate his cereal. Strapping boy, the new breed of
straight boy, he’ll be up for lots more things sexually during his life, that
his father or his father before him. You can feel it in him. He’s not afraid to
respond. He likes to be thought of as sexy, he sees it all as compliments.
We spent a lot of time on his dick when we
were together. And he kept doing his thing, not shying away. He liked it.
I reckon it’s time I fucked a guy from
work. I’d like to have that after the act intimacy with someone I come in
contact with from time to time. See their expression change when they see me.
The hope of a rematch, as it was good. I want it to be Ben G. The next
time I’m in the lift with him, I’m going to undress him with my eyes. He’s got
a hot arse and the sexiest voice. Now that people know I’m gay at work, I can
flirt with him. Unleash my power. I want to gaze into his eyes, as I slide my
hand into his pants. If he’s not interested, he won’t respond.
I could pash Tony Farugia too, easily.
He’s cute and flirty himself. I hope someone has told him I’m gay. I’m so
tempted to come on to him, but I don’t. I’m already flirting with three, that’s
enough. Don’t want to get a name for myself. I can often imagine doing the full
sexual act with Nick, rolling around in his bed, or my bed, kissing and rubbing
our hard cocks and big balls against each other… as we chat and joke with each
other in my office. He’s got sparkly eyes.
And then there is David Koslowski. Woof! How I’d like to lick his sexy arse.
And Nick Papadopoulos What a sexy hunk of man. How I’d
like to suck his wog cock!
But they have to give me a reason to look
twice, they’ve got to show a little interest, before I respond. None of these
three ever have, so they are quite safe. I’m switched off to them.
I left home by 11.30, by foot. It was a
lovely mild day.
A dark blue X5 drove down Gertrude Street
with the black and white number plate of LGF 001. So I thought I’d message Leah.
I wondered at the wisdom of this, with husband Stu being angsty with me. You
know, taking Leah back to (her maiden name), even if it is only in her head,
and all that.
SMS. 11.44. I just saw LGF 001 on a beemer
– christian
I got to the Winsor at midday, to be told
politely that the booking was for twelve thirty.
I’ll come back in half an hour, I purred.
(man of class of style) (apparently) I sauntered out the door and headed
straight to the porn shop, to check out cocks.
When I got back at half past they were
already seated.
The Windsor is very cool, nice big room. I
must meet Jill their one day for lunch.
I was cool Uncle Christian.
Kelly and Lucy accused me of smoking. I
shoved my jacket into their faces, as we stood out the Windsor on our way out,
and said, Does it smell like smoke? Then I gave them the get fucked sign, with
both hands and called them little bitches.
Gill and I wore almost the same outfit;
white T-shirt, brown top, black jacket. I had jeans, she had black pants.
“Well, they are brother and sister,” mum
exclaimed, as Gill and I stood next to one another comparing.
SMS. 14.40. That’d be nice! How r u honey?
– Leah
Then I went to the porn shop and bought
three tapes. You know, as you do.
Smoked pot and watched porn – I got one
with cute guys bearbacking. It’s hot – and slept most of the afternoon.
SMS. 15.25. Ok…sorry about that…could u do
me a huge favour…some time this week could u give me the measurements for the
windows upstairs? Getting blinds – Tim
SMS. 15.47. Do u still want the pot? – Tim
SMS. 15.50. No, I got some, thanks anyway
– christian
Luke just called to ask what I was doing.
He called me boring when I said I was doing nothing. (I wonder if he was after
dope?)
Tom’s called twice, I’ve just felt like
being on my own.
I went to the milkbar and bought peanut
butter and Nuttela and one hundred’s and thousands and fresh white bread,
Helga’s, of course. I put them all on one slice. Then I went and bought fish
& chips. What was I thinking?
