So Few Men

Some chicks hate gay boys because of the competition they pose on the man market. It always strikes me as odd because, according to what's most widely accepted, they have 90% of the market covered, 80% on Saturday night.

Devan laughed. "Where do I fit in?"

"Nowhere, buddy," I said. "You guys don't fit in anywhere. You're not even a good bi-sexual. You, pretty much, only sleep with girls."

"No, I don't," said Devan seriously.

"When was the last time you slept with a guy."

"Um?" He squeezed his lips together. "Um?"

"Well?"

He laughed. "I don't remember."

"So, you don't even figure in this conversation," I said. "You're just giving it to chicks anyway."

"Okay, I'll shag a guy."

"Go on then," I said. "Let's go get a drink and put you to the test." I was on my feet in moments. "Let's go." Devan got to his feet with a defiant look on his face.

"The Laird?" I wanted to see Devan make good on his claim.

"Sure, I'm up for it."

"Or a sex club?" I said, as we headed down the hallway.

"Let's go for a drink."

"Chicken." I opened the front door.

"Fuck off," Devan stepped into the front yard.

"You have to pick up a guy and take him home," I said, as I followed him down the front path.

"Okay. How will you know that we do anything?"

"Dev, I was never planning on being in the room with you, your place or a sex club." We were walking in the middle of the street, Dev was next to me. "There has to be a certain amount of honesty involved."

Dev laughed as though he was about to get away with something.

"Souvenir his jocks."

"No," insisted Devan.

"Take a photo of him naked on your phone?" One of Devan's hobbies is photography.

"Oh, come on!" We were heading down Gertrude nearly at Smith.

"I will just believe you if you tell me you did it."

There were taxis and people everywhere in Smith Street. Sunday night seemed to be buzzing.

"I'll try to take the photo."

I laughed. "I wasn't really serious."

"About picking up a guy?"

"Nice try," I said. "About the photos." I slapped Devan on the back. "Let's go."

Guys like Devan, he's handsome, no surprise there. When we used to all "party" hard, he used to do boys and girls. He used to like picking up straight couples to play with and gay boy bottoms, if he just wanted to get off. Since we've all been partying less, he has tended to have girlfriends.

“I want his jocks, too.”

“What?” said Dev.

“I’d really like them still to be warm though.”

“Seriously,” said Dev.

“I guess that’s not practical though, really, is it,” I said.

“How do you know that I haven’t just given you a pair of my jocks?” said Dev.

“Do you really want me to be sniffing your jocks while I’m having a pull.”

“Er,” said Dev. “No.”

“So, the photo and the jocks.”

“How am I going to get his jocks.”

“Oh seriously,” I said. “When you are up his arse, just tell him you really want them.”

“Nice,” said Dev.

“It will make him cum,” I assure you.”

“Okay, photo and jocks,” said Dev.

We stepped though the club doors. “I’m getting us drinks,” I said.

“I’ll go scout around.”

“You go get him, Tiger,” I said.

“It’s been a while since I have got the pants off another lad,” said Dev. “I’m getting half a chub just thinking about it,” said Dev.

“That’s my boy,” I said. “Beer?”

“Schooner.”

“Schooner it is,” I said. I headed off to the bar.

There was quite a huddle at the bar, all the guys were looking for refills and the barmen were being called out to all over the joint. Finally, I got two schooners after what seemed like an inordinate amount of time.

When I got back to Dev was chatting to young good looking, fresh faced guy.

“This is Nate,” said Dev. He looked like the cat that had got the fucking cream.

“Hi Nate,” I said.

Dev lent over to me. “Did we put money on this?” he asked.

“No,” I said.

“I’m sure we put a hundred on this?” said Dev.

“Okay, sure,” I said. “The photo and the jocks, and I’ll have the $100 waiting for you.”

“Nate has been partying, haven’t you Nate.

“Yes, yes, I have said Nate.

“Nate is very keen,” said Dev.

“I’ve been partying quite a lot,” slurred Nate.

Nate had on a long sleeved shirt with a tail at the back hanging down over the back of his jeans. Dev gave me a look, big eyes like he wanted to show me something. He pulled up Nate’s shirt tail and show me Nate’s firm, round arse. He held up his hand with a thumbs up.

“For a straight guy, you are pretty keen,” I said.

“Nate likes it that I am straight,” said Dev.

“Yeah, it turns me on,” slurred Nate.

Dev lifts up Nate’s shirt tail again and slides his hand inside the back of Nate’s jeans and pulls up the elastic of Nate’s jocks. “Blue Calvin Kliens,” said Dev.

“Yeah, blue Calvin Kliens are my favourite,” said Nate.

“Okay,” said Dev. “Blue Calvin Kliens.” He looked at me and smiled.

I saw Devan the next night at the pub when I was out drinking with Charlie and Kalvin. Devan almost walked past me, but stopped when he caught sight of me out the corner of his eye.

“Hey, Josh, how are you mate?”

“Good Devan, and you?”

“Yeah good,” said Devan. “I have something for you?”

“Have you?”

“I sure do,” said Devan. He pulled blue material out of his coat pocket. “One pair of blue Calvin Kliens, as promised.”

“What is going on here?” asked Charlie.

“This definitely looks like a story?” said Kal.

“How did you get them?” I asked.

“He’s still asleep in my bed with a buttplug inside him. He didn’t care.”

“Who is?” asked Charlie.

“What are you talking about?” said Kal.

“Trade from last night,” I said.

“Whose trade?” asked Charlie

“And,” said Devan. “And…” Devan pulled out his phone. “and…” He thumbed the screen of his phone. “Better than you asked for.” He held his phone up so only I can see it. “Young Nate, very, very happy with my dick in his arse.”

And there was Nate lying on his back with his legs in the air with a cock very definitely inside him, be it Devan’s, or whoever’s, but, I had to accept that it was Devan’s.

“He looks very happy,” I said. Which he did.

“Who does?” asked Charlie.

“The boy took it like a chook.”

“Who did?” asked Kal.

I laughed. “How do chooks take it,” I said.

“Have you ever seen an egg come out of a chook’s arse?” said Devan.

“Makes your eyes water,” said Charlie.

“Yes, I have, and I kind of guessed that is what it means,” I said.

“Just thinking about it,” said Kal.

“The kid loves it, can’t actually get enough of it,” said Devan. “$100 thanks.”

I pulled $100 out of my wallet and gave it to Devan.

“What the hell is going on?” said Charlie.

“Yeah, what gives,” said Kal.

“Just collecting on a wager,” said Devan.

“I bet on Devan’s gayness…”

“Aren’t you straight?” said Charlie.

“Ish,” I said.

“Yeah, don’t you have a girlfriend?” said Kal.

“Yes, Aimee is my girlfriend,” said Devan.

“I’m bi,” said Devan.

“I did not know that,” said Charlie.

“Me either,” said Kal.

A week or so later I saw Devan out. He was being followed by Aimee who was leading Nate by the hand.

“This looks very cosy,” I said.

“Cosy it is,” said Devan. “The three of us.” 

“Aimee,” I said.

“Josh,” said Aimee.

“Nate,” I said.

“Josh,” said Nate.

“We’re going to the bar,” said Aimee. “Can I get you a drink?”

“No, I am good, thanks.” I’d just got a drink.”

Aimee led Nate to the bar.

“So, this looks like it is going better than expected.”

“Aimee and Nate love each other,” said Devan. “Aimee finds it hot to watch me and Nate. And Aimee so loves two cocks in her so much, now Nate wants two cocks in him, care to joins us to make the lad's fantasy come true?”

“Oh, a bit too incestuous for me, don’t you think?” I said.

“It’s just that I know you have a big one and young Nate wants two big ones in him, as you could expect.”

“Nah, not for me,” I said. “I’ll have to pass. It’s just not really my scene.”

“They are a couple of monsters the two of them,” said Devan. “The two of them just want to be pounded all night.”

“Two hungry mouths to feed,” I said. “You’ve certainly made a bed for yourself.” I laughed.

“Ah yeah, but it is good though,” said Devan. “Its really good.”

“You devil you,” I said.

“It’s the best of both worlds, I’m in bliss, to tell you the truth.”

“Nirvana?” I asked.

“Pretty much,” said Devan.

Aimee arrived back with the drinks. “Nate’s hold a pool table.” She handed a schooner to Devan and then disappeared again.

Devan held his beer out. “Cheers,” he said.

“Cheers,” I said.

We both slugged our beers.

“Look at you, you cannot stop smiling,” I said. And he couldn’t.

“Life is pretty good,” said Devan.

With both drank our beers and surveyed the milling crowd.