Do you think Tony Abbott masturbates?
I thought about it in the shower this morning. I reckon Tony would be a quick downward pull under the running shower kind of guy. Quick. Efficient.
That's what I imagined, as the shower water ran down over me this morning. You know, when the warm water first hits the top of your head and you let go of your thoughts (dreams, hopes) and they swirl around in your skull all soft and squishy. I'd been thinking something about federal politics as I headed to the bathroom. Hot water massaging the top of my skull... Abbott, one term loser, destroying Australia, 50's neanderthal, try-hard in lycra, when will he stop doing those speed shots, I wonder if he masturbates. Can you see the train of thought?
I think I washed all over with soap again after that. Sam gets right down and washes his toes with soap individually. I don't do that. Does that make me unclean? I did this morning. Shiver all over. Abbott masturbating. Did I get a mental picture? Shiver all over again.
Do you think Margie would catch him? Do you think they'd even share a bathroom?
Putin vs Abbott? Top? Bottom? Putin is your great mountain man, Abbott is your great triathlete, or so both men would have you believe. Once the image of them meeting up at the G20 both in blue suits, awkwardly next to each other, morphs into them kissing and pulling the blue suits off each other, I turn off the water and got out of the shower.
Putin is on his stomach on the pillow top mattress, his trousers and jocks around his ankles Tony is on top of him... well? Did you think I'd be, um, er, rooting for the enemy?
2 comments:
My goodness. I've sometimes fantasised about other people's masturbatory practices but your post makes me realise that I've never associated either Abbott or Putin with sex. Considering how often they are portrayed either in speedos or topless they are both strangely sexless to me.
I agree, really. it was just an aberrant though when I'd let my guard down in the shower.
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