Thursday, August 31, 2017

Psychosomatic Illness

I've developed a psychosomatic illness, if you would even call it that, when Sam says diner is ready, I have to go and take a piss. Every night. It is a recent thing. Is that even a thing? Sam just shakes his head.

"Do you always..." you can hear the rest.

It is probably some long lost childhood trauma finally bubbling to the surface. I just knew, I should have a few more of those. It is not healthy to be so normal, I am sure. It is kind of weird, though, like clock work, or is that like piss-take? And now that it is in my head...  every night. In the words of my favourite movie, It is beyond my control.

I should google it, I guess. Of course, that is never really recommended. Google will probably tell me it is cancer, or ulcerated something, or some mental disease, of some sort. Denys-Drash Syndrome, that's what I got when I googled it. Truthfully, I think it was the word syndrome. That is some hideous condition.

Oh, who are we kidding, Google will tell us what the businesses have paid Google to tell us, well, at least for the first page, or two, of the search. Whoever has paid Google the most, that is what we'll be told.

Remember when the internet used to tell you interesting, useful information? Not what business has paid them to tell us. Remember that?

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