Friday, October 12, 2018

Change Your name

A girl in the office who recently got married said she is about to change her name. "I am just finalising the paperwork," she said. The girls gathered sighed in collective joy.

"I never understand why women change their names today," I said. "It is kind of outdated, isn't it?"

"Because that is what you do," said the just married girl. "Why would that be a problem, anyway?" Her well manicured eyebrows (I imagine she had them done for the wedding) lifted pointedly.

"Well, it is always a problem when they get divorced." Oh yes, I heard the collective inhale of breath from the gathered, I'm not deaf.

She twitched noticeably. "I don't plan to get divorced."

Was I going to go there, for a split second I wondered? "I'm sure that is what they all say," I said. Gay humour? You with your good bag and your cheap shoes. I'd like to call it gay realism, personally.

Well, apparently you can't say such things. There were audible tutt-tutts from the crowd. You could almost hear the thoughts forming into words, she has only just got married, for goodness sake.

Sheesh! I am only being honest, I thought. 
It's not like 50% of marriages in divorce, or anything.

I headed back to my office. Oh yes, I know, but sometimes I can't help myself. It is as if I just always have to tell my truth.

Where angels feared to tread, will be on my tombstone. Oh, no, it is just nice lying here, that will be on my tombstone.

It's true though, I've known quite a few female friends who have ended up not knowing what to call themselves. Some don't want to keep their ex-husbands name, but haven't wanted to go back to their maiden name. I've known two who didn't want their ex-husbands name any longer, but didn't want their father's name who they hated. If women just kept their names, like men do, this would not be an issue. 

I see women changing their names as something really out dated, like women still calling themselves miss, or who say they aren't feminists.

Of course, you may say that this is none of my business and, you know, you'd probably be right.

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