Under The Pump Indeed

I knew this arrangement with Boris being OS would have its issues. You know, doing the two things we had discussed, that is what I have agreed to. 

“I won’t be able to return home to Shitslavia,” bat of the eye lids, “if you don’t agree.” 

Don’t bat your eyelids at me, save it for the straight boys. That doesn’t work on me. If you really want to win me over, get your brother to do a slow reveal, or something. ha ha. (That doesn’t really make any sense, but I am sure you get what I mean)

But, apparently it did. Grrr. I did agree to do a couple more things than we first agreed, minor things, but more things none the less.

But, I have not agreed to do Boris’ job for her while she is away. I certainly do not want to work that hard.

It was agreed with CFO that Boris would take her laptop with her, to cover what I wasn’t willing to do. (Nyr! She should have organised this properly in the first place)

Oh yes, I know what you are all saying. Be a team player, Christian. Make yourself available. Be helpful. And to you I say, When was the last time you people worked in the corporate world? Huh?

TheMidget (Financial Accounting Manager, I had to look that up) keeps emailing me to ask Boris things, so I email Boris and then she answers me and I answer TheMidget.

The thing is I am only emailing Boris on her work email. TheMidget knows that. Oh yes, it is a minor issue, certainly first world problems. But I don’t want to do Boris’ job, I made that very clear from the start. To all of them. I’d say something but TheMidget has become quite uppity, as my mum may have said, of late. So, I continue this ridiculous email trail in silence.

I worked today, Thursday. I said I shouldn't as I really had nothing to do, but they seem to want me to. “Got to keep on top of things,” they said. Sam told me I should. "Fuck it." (I have been a bad influence on him) “Milk them for everything.” So, I did.

But I really did have nothing to do. I had everything done. (What does Boris do for her 150K, I ask myself?)

I have a photographer Bruce Weber who I like, so I spent the day saving his photos. I’m very keen on his shit.

Boris and TheMidget went backwards and forwards via me, all day, but finally worked out they could email direct. Genius’.

TheMidget wanted something, which Boris was sure our boss, CFO, said not to worry about. 

But TheMidget was persistent.

TheMidget eventually emailed, "If Christian is under the pump, then I guess we can let it go this month."

Under the pump? Under the pump? I thought. Two nude models kissing on a banana lounge in Florida. Save.