Saturday Shopping Day

Late in the morning, we take the Bulldogs for a walk to the shops. The sun is shining and the sky is blue, but the breeze is blowing very cool.

We walk through Collingwood, past the Porsche Dealership to Victoria Parade and onto Victoria Street.

On the way, I go to The Salvos. I get two Queen DVDs, Live at Wembley and We Will Rock You, two Rolling Stones DVDs, The 1960s & Jean Luc Goddard’s doco Sympathy for the Devil, and a U2 DVD Live in Chicago, which I hope I don’t have, but that’s how it has gone with U2 DVDs lately. (It would turn out later that I did have it)

After that, I hurry off down to the shops where Sam will be waiting, probably tapping his fingers. Then, I’m at the entrance to The Hive with Brun and Otto.

The sun is shining. The sky is blue.

A little girl enters the centre with her hot, blond dad.

Sam returns and we cross over to the Asian Supermarket across the rod, where Brun and Otto and I wait outside again.

It’s a lovely day in Abbotsford, bright and sunny with a cool breeze, with people going about their business shopping and whatever else it is they do on a Saturday morning. Couples with babies on the father’s shoulder wrapped up in their dad’s arms. Couples with trolleys, gay men with shopping jeeps, boys carrying cards they are gonna post to their sweethearts, old man with Jack Russell terriers enthusiastically leading the way, old women with bad perms and oversized reusable shopping bags making hard work of crossing Nicholson Street with all the traffic coming from both directions. There are cars selfishly parking in the bike lane because quite clearly they don’t give a shit about anybody else. A man with a black-and-white striped T-shirt with a black and white polka dot long sleeve shirt over the top of it. Asian man in bright green Macan Porsche GTS with Bat 9 number plate, which I’m sure means something, fucked if I know what. A woman in a white Mazda four-wheel-drive with KimFinn number plates. Tradies in dual cabin Utes, usually in white. Asian women rummaging through their shopping bags to check they bought what they need. A past middle-aged white woman in tight black active gear, and a bright orange top, walks to her nearby tied up pushbike with panniers, slides the shopping into the panniers then rides away with some cautious effort as though she has only just recently taken up bike riding. A very handsome, muscly Asian boy with a bag of bread in his hands. A fat woman walking too small black terriers, one of which has a ginormous shit on the footpath, almost bigger than its fucking body. An old Asian woman getting into a blue Honda SUV in which her husband is waiting patiently for her to return with the takeaway lunch, which she has. A beautiful woman walks past in a singlet and looks like a designer bag with groceries in it. A car drives past playing loud music. The gay couple with the shopping jeep exit The Hive and walk away quickly as though they have shoplifted. An Asian chick with what looks like a grandmother who is giving her directions in a loud voice. A girl as beautiful as Lissa Waterford with tattoos walks up and pats the Bulldogs, she says she has two Frenchies. Two boyfriends one who looks like junkyard digs Kevin and the other one very cute walk past having a discussion about something they are having a friendly disagreeing about.

Sam reappears at 12:19pm.

12:22pm. We’re at the butcher in Victoria Street. There’s a younger guy lying out on the footpath pretty out of it with the back of his track pants down over his arse although he’s lying on it. There are three guys in varying states of social decay standing around chatting, all three smile when they see the Bulldogs. A girl walks up in a Hoodie with the hood over her head, which fails to cover the scabs she has all over her face. She seems to know the out-of-it guy with his arse hanging out. In fact, most of the socially challenged seem to know each other, which isn’t hard to understand.

Sam reappears at 12.30pm.

12:30pm. We’re at the pork roll shop.

12.40pm. It’s too hot standing in the sun outside the pork roll shop so we cross the road and sit on one of the seats provided. I’m not sure if it’s provided for the tram stop or if it’s just a general seat, maybe just a general seat. It’s nice to be out of the sun though. Brun lies down on the cool concrete pretty quickly, Otto crawls under the seat and lies down.

A handsome boy jogger runs past with tattoos all over his legs. 

The tram pulls up with don’t-cut-in-front-of-trams-rhinoceros advertising, three hot boys get off in tracksuit pants. The first one does thumbs up at the bulldogs accompanied with a stupid smile.

12.50pm. We are walking home. It takes us about half an hour.

3.15pm. We leave for the city and SpecSavers.

We walk through the Carlton Gardens, which is nice.

The sun is shining.

We catch a number 30 tram at Spring Street.

We get off at Swanston Street for Melbourne Central. SpecSavers is on the lower ground floor. It always feels like descending into the bowels down here. It feels like anything could happen, and does. It’s a bit wild west.

3.45pm. Sam books in. The nice shop chick tells me I can book in closer to my appointment time of 4.20pm.

I look endlessly at the glasses to pas the time.

4.20pm. I’m sitting at the bookin desk.

4.27pm. I have done the initial test. Photographs of the back of the eye, and puff tests.

Waiting for the optometrist now.

4.35pm. The person before me is out, so it shouldn’t be long now. 

My eye test reveals that my prescription hasn’t change and I don’t need new glasses. The optometrist did recommend a hot eye patch for my dry eyes as it looks as though I have blocked tear ducts. She also recommended some different eye drops. I have had annoying dry eyes for a little while now.

The nice shop chick does a quote for new glasses, anyway. You know, just in case my health insurance will pay all of the cost. You know, as likely as that is. Even if it did, I am still unlikely to get new glasses that I don’t need, but it is good to know. The nice shop chick doesn’t appear to know what she is doing. She gets another chick to help her who seems just as clueless. 

The glasses would cost $300 out of pocket, well, I think that is what they would cost, the two girls helping me didn’t seem to quite know.

We get drinks on our way home, grapefruit and passionfruit tea. As we walk out of Melbourne Central into the sunshine, Sam says, “Well, that was a waste of time.”

“Wasn’t it,” I say.

5.23pm.we catch 30a tram at Swanston Street. We get off at The Carlton Gardens when the free tram zone runs out. We walk through the gardens and up Gertrude Street.

5.39pm. We’re home.