Charlie bought home two packets of baked pastry things. I opened the first packet because I am a baked good fiend and they were red bean paste pastries, lovely.
Charlie is good like that bringing home sweeties all the time.
"Do you think his girlfriend gave them to him?" asked Sam.
Oh, we always want to know if he has a girlfriend. You know, it is so hard to get any information out of him on any subject, he is practically monosyllabic. We almost have to make it up. The closest relationship he has is with his phone.
"Charlie has a girlfriend?" I ask.
"I don't know, but maybe?" says Sam
"Well, surely his girlfriend would have a vested interest in keeping him thin," I say. "No girl wants a fat boyfriend."
We both laugh.
"Unless she is a chubby chaser to start with," says Sam.
"Well, yes, there is that?" I say.
"Surely, going to uni and being 22 he would meet a girl by now," says Sam.
I'm still hoping he is going to bring home nice boy, but, you know, whatever.
"Have you noticed his arse is getting bigger in those shorts he wears ever since he has started going to the gym?" I say.
"He is getting a big, beefy butt," says Sam.
Anyway, at 5am I made coffee and the second packet of pastries was on the kitchen bench, just speaking to me, so I picked one out and bit into it. Oh Dear universe! "Jesus Fuck!" The second packet weren't sweet red bean paste pastries, at all, they were some kind of sweet chilli curry pastries and quite a shock to my 5am sensibilities. "Er!" I wanted to spit it out but, but, but I wasn't awake enough to, so I just swallowed it. "Er." bad taste in my mouth. Orange juice! Orange Juice! That sure woke me up in a hurry.
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