Everyone Being Treated As Equal

I was a popular kid at school. I was at the same private school from year 4 with the same kids all the way through to year 12.

But I still dumped all my school friends when I left school.

I had a fairly lonely time at uni, none of my school mates did my coarse, which I still find kind of weird, I was on my own for most of the time. Oh sure, I made uni friends to hang with in lectures and tunes, but no-one to go out with outside uni.

I had a girlfriend and a large number of friends outside uni, which I hung with for the first half of my twenties.

At age 24, I split up with my girlfriend, and I headed overseas for a couple of years with a good female friend. She told me she was planning to live overseas for a year or so, and I remember feeling the urge go. Get away.

She and I hung out for most of that time in London and travelled in Europe. I didn't see anyone, or hook up with anyone. I saw plays and theatre and I travelled up and down the continent from Greece to Finland.

Then at 26, I came home and I got a job and bought my first house and I was kind of on my own again for the second half of my twenties. 

It wasn't until I was 29 years of age, 6 months off turning 30 when I met Mark and my life completely changed. It really started from then.

I didn't feel tortured at all during any of this time, I think it was a case of what I didn't know that I didn't know. I floated through unscathed, more is the pity. Floating through unscathed never did anyone any good. It's only when I look back on it now that I think, OMG! What the hell was wrong with you? Talk about floating through your life and essentially not participating. Not exactly, but kind of. All the things that I could have done. All that time that once it is gone it is absolutely gone.

Years later, my mum said to me that she could always see that I was her least happiest child and she often wondered why and for years felt helpless not knowing what to do. She said that while she was shocked when I told her I was gay, she said, after she had got over the initial shock, it answered this questions for her.

"You were in inner turmoil, my darling," she said. "I so wish I had known. I wouldn't have known what to do for you, but I would have damn well found out."

I used to say to her that I didn't think that being gay was the problem. You know, I don't know why I said that, perhaps it was the last bits of learned behaviour that I was hanging onto. I don't know.

Now I think she was right.

That is why I now think it is so important for gay kids to be recognised and acknowledged, when they are kids. It is important for their well being to be normalised, so they can put all their energies into being the best selves they can be, rather than wasting most of their energy on protective shells.

That is why I think it is so wrong what conservative politicians are doing to score points for themselves. Kids should be taught there are gay kids and trans kids, and kids with two mothers and kids with two fathers. Kids should be taught there are kids who are different to them. So then, when they meet gay kids, or trans kids, or kids who are different to them, it is no big deal and their natural response would be, "Hi, how are you."

I made up for everything in my 30s, but that isn't really the point.

Don't vote conservative in the next federal election, because they are self-serving and don't give a damn about the people.