Shut Down

I wish I had the ability to turn my brain off sometimes. Er. It can becomes really tiring trying to counter the effects of anxiety, or anxiousness, or worry.

When I was younger it was always dreaming up poetry and stories and scenarios. Now that I am older it, my mind, seems intent on worrying about everything. It just over thinks every little thing. You know, straight down the rabbit hole of, well, if I said misery it would be over stating it, negativity. Whoosh. Down you go, watch the step.

Worrying about work seems to be the new thing. Something I can do with my eyes closed. I think it stems from the back to the office order. I really don’t want to go back to the office, there is no advantage to going back to the office. Well, that seems to have set off a steady stream of worrying about everything to do with work. I don’t want to go back to the office, but I also don’t want to quit, working 3 days keeps me in spending money.

I wish I could just switch it off and just be in the purity of the moment, just sometimes. When all you can hear is your own breathing, and all you can see is the inside of your own eyelids fading away. That would be nice. I should practise meditating, I have always said that.