Pregnant On a Tram

Standing up for a pregnant woman on a tram? In this rationalist economic world, if you get on a tram, no matter what condition you are in, you'd better be able to cut it, babe.

If you look back to nature for an indication of what to do, every instinct to the core of any males being should tell him to kill another man's baby. That's the law of nature.

It was one of those new trams, low slung and long, with a number of articulations, snaking its way into the city. And while I wouldn’t say that the tram was packed, all the seats were taken. I got my favourite seat, one of the singular, white plastic ones, up near the front. A ring side seat, one might say.

All was quiet, the normal morning hum, everyone resigned to the position they had obtained, seeing out the slow roll into the CBD. The sun flickered in through the windows on one side.

Well, not everyone was accepting of the position they’d got.

"Well thank you very much for being such a gentleman," said the pregnant woman with an exaggerated tone. Big eyes. Wild expression.

"Listen here lady,” said the handsome man in a suit seated in front of her. “As a married women with children you get everything and as a single man without children I get nothing, so shut up and just enjoy your privileged position."

"It's really lovely where this world has got to, now isn't it, when a man won't..."

He raised his hand making an opening and closing mouth with his fingers. "Yap, yap, yap," he said, as he turned and looked out the window.

"How dare you!" he felt a sharp poke in his shoulder from pointy finger tips, because I certainly did watching it. "Look at me when I'm speaking to you!"

Oh yes, winning friends and influencing people with that statement, I thought.

He widened his eyes as he shot his gaze back at her. "Let me guess, you are a lawyer?"

"What does that have to do with this?" She spoke in a kind of restrained shriek.

"I'll take that as a yes," he said. "Same uptight angst that all female lawyers have. Never really going to make it in a man's world."

"I'm sorry?" she demanded.

"Would you leave me alone?" his tone was one of exasperation.

He turned away, as if he was done with her.

"Get up!" she demanded.

He was taken aback.

"Get up!" she demanded again.

He recoiled.

"I'm not going to take it!"

She glared at him. She was shaking.

He cleared his throat.

"Would you like me to push you away?" he said, in a low voice.

"Oh yes, very nice. You'd hit a pregnant woman?"

"It would be the first time I've ever hit a woman," he said. "But for you, I'm prepared to make an exception."

"I can't believe your attitude..."

"You need help and may I suggest you seek it out before you do yourself, or your baby, harm."

"I DO NOT NEED HELP! You are the one who needs help!"

"Fuck off you mental case."

All eyes were gazing at them. Another woman led the pregnant woman away, tutting at him and making cooing noises at her.

The tram stopped at one of those new super stops in Bourke Street, I think it was Queen Street, where our man made a sudden getaway.