Friday, February 18, 2011

Zen'ish Teachings



01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. Walk your own path and be ordinary.

02. Sex is like air, it's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

03. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

04. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

05. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

06. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, you are probably right.

07. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

08. If at first you don't succeed, base jumping is probably not for you.

09. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will probably sit in a boat and drink beer.

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably money well spent.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.

13. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience...and most of that comes from bad judgment.

15. A closed mouth gathers no enemies, but a closed mouth gathers no friends either.

16. Do not speak - unless it improves on silence.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and that's essentially how we stay.

20. The world is like a mirror, smile and your friends smile back.

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