Wednesday, December 02, 2015

Jack Comes Out To His Dad David

Jack thought it was good to be home. He needed time to think. He needed time to debrief. He was hoping his mum was home, she and he have always been able to talk about anything.

The house was quiet. The front door slammed behind him, it just slipped out of his hand, maybe he wasn't concentrating. It mad him jump.

"Hon, is that you," said David, Jack's father.

"No dad, it is me."

"In here," said David. "I'm in the family room."

Jack found his father sitting in a chair reading. His father looked up.

"How are you?"

"Yeah... good." Jack wasn't sure how he felt. Amazing. Sore. Incredible. Tired. He hadn't slept.

David got out of his chair. "You sure?"

"Yes." He tried to look normal, however that looked.

"You're okay?"

Did it show, Jack thought. He hesitated. "Yes... sure." His voice squeaking on yes didn't help.

His dad reached out and tousled his hair. "What's up?"

Jack dodged his father's hand. "What do you mean?"

"You stay out last night."

"I was at a friend's"

"You look... ?" His father looked him in the eye. "Have you slept?"

"Huh?" What did his father see?

His father shrugged. "If you don't want to tell me."

"What?"

"Since you were a little boy, Jack, I know..."


"Dad, I had sex for the first time." It just came out. Jack wasn't at all sure he meant to say it.

"Well... well done, son... isn't... it... amazing." David smiled at his son, as if to say that is my boy.

Jack felt nervous. "Yes, dad it was amazing."

"Come and sit next to me, Jack, and we can talk about it."

Jack grimmaced, even he could feel it, his face crease in the wrong direction. 

"What?" asked his dad. 

"What?" Jack could feel his face flush bright red.

"Somethings up?"

"What?" Was it written across his face, thought Jack.

"Tell me." His dad looked hurt by his son's clear omission.

"I'm having trouble sitting at the moment, dad, my arse hurts." 

"Oh?" His father's eyes widened. He was clearly take a back. "Oh!" He stammered. He opened and closed his mouth. Jack thought his father was doing a very good impression of a fish. "Well?"... "Oh? I see. How was that, um, for you?"

Jack thought his dad was doing well. "Do you really want to know?"

"Well... yeeessss. Yes, I do."

"It hurt like hell, to start with," said Jack. "But... then... you know, it was good. It was great." Jack could feel his face crease into a broad smile. "You know, really great."

"And who was the..." His dad blushed.

"The boy?"

"Yes, the... young... man?" asked David. "Was it Blake?"

"Blake?" Jack's best mate. "No!"

"What's wrong with Blake?

"Blake's my buddy."

"I always thought..."

"Me and Blake?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Do I know him?"

"No, dad, you don't know him?"

"Are we going to get to meet him, your mother and I?"

Jack couldn't stifle the laugh he was now feeling. How far away from where he'd just come was he now. Doof, doof, doof, the music was still in his ears. The taxi ride. The snatched glimpses. The hand holding, for the first time. The joint to calm both their nerves.

"What?" His dad sounded hurt.

"Nothing..."

"Don't say nothing?"

"Everything..."

"I'm not really following?"

"You're great... dad?"

David smiled.

"Thanks."

"Thanks?"

"For being so understanding."

"I'm not sure I was..."

"You were..."

"Jack, you are my son, I love you no matter what you do."

Jack could feel tears coming to his eyes, and he didn't want to cry. "Is there anything you want to know?" he said, more as a distraction that anything else.

"Um... were you safe?"

"Yes, dad."

"And... so, you like... it... um..."

"What?" What was he talking about?

"You know."

"No, I don't." Do I like boys, clearly I do.

"Your sore arse, Jack."

"Do I like it?"

"Yes."

"Yes."

There was silence.

"Well, you know," said Jack, filling the silence. "You've got to try everything."

David grabbed Jack in his arms. He patted his son's hair. "I love you mate."

Jack always felt safe in his father's arms, even still, even at this age. He thought he was going to cry, again, but he didn't.

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