Sunday, March 16, 2025

Sunday Morning

It's a rainy Sunday, almost my favourite kind of day.

Of course, that means cleaning day, always on a Sunday morning.

Sam gets to dusting, and throwing looks at me still on the couch.

He moves everything, including my laptop, off the coffee table to clean it.

He continues to throw looks, I continue to pretend not to see them.

Once Sam is done with the dusting downstairs he heads upstairs, on his way he finally says, "Do the vacuuming."

Then he disappears upstairs to clean our bedroom and the bathroom.

Moments later, I get to my feet. Get it over and done with, I think.

I'm clearly serious about the vacuuming this morning, as I break out the full sized Dyson vacuum. I have been using the shit LG stick vacuum, but it really is a useless pile of shit.

I select Tina Turner live in my headphones. Addicted to love starts to play. Tina starts to sing.


Saturday, March 15, 2025

Saturday

I don't know, it was Saturday. A day not to know, it was almost created for it. Saturdays. And not knowing.

What do you do on Saturdays?

I wonder as the fan whirs in the corner of the room.

The news tried to make out it was going to be a scorcher of a day, life threatening, breathlessly reported, but it was 31 degrees, which is quite nice.

The news seems to want to grab ratings with even sensationalising the weather just lately. I don't really understand it?

Does it have something to do with competing with social media, which is always looking for drama to sell itself?

Everybody seems to be doing drama now a days.

I was so concerned, I fell asleep on the couch in the afternoon for a couple of hours.

Otto is sick, he has a cold and a cough. The internet says it should clear up in a week, after that he'll need to go to the vet.


Friday, March 14, 2025

Lovely Friday

It's a great day, gorgeous, warm, 25 degrees.

I finish a short story that I start a day, or so ago.

I take the dogs for a walk for an hour, then I get my arse off to the gym.

All before lunch, pretty good going even if I do say so myself.

Sam is in back to back meetings all morning. They sound as boring as fuck. I stand off to the side out of sight and text him.

"Why don't you tell them to go and fuck themselves with a big long stick."

Sam reaches for his keyboard nonchalantly, as whoever is talking yaps on. "Oh, kill me now," Sam replies.

And I now have the afternoon to piss away as I feel like.


Thursday, March 13, 2025

Pissing In The Shower

I read another survey on how many people piss in the shower.

Really?

Who cares if you piss in the shower?

The water is running, it washes away.

In fact, it is probably a good thing to do as far as water usage is concerned. You know, save water.

Why do we do useless surveys? But the world is so full of nonsense, the trick is not to get caught up in it. Who cares really is such a good yard stick.

I guess it is interesting to know, non the less. But it's not something about which to get the ick. It's not important.

I'll admit it, I piss in the shower.


Wednesday, March 12, 2025

Mark

I was busy working, it was my busy day, when my phone rang and Luke's name came up on my phone.

I picked it up and answered with a certain amount of trepidation, hoping it wasn't bad news. "Hi, how are you?"

Mark's voice came on. "I'm still alive," he said.

OMG! I couldn't believe it. Funny how we say that. Of course, I could believe it, I was just as pleased as pleased. Sitting by his bed for a week was worth it for this moment, not that it was ever not worth it. He sounded great. He didn't remember Lolie and I sitting by his bed for a week, but I could tell he was pleased. He became emotional at the information.

I was very pleased. It was good to have him back, finally. Thank you inuiverse. (Not that the universe had anything to do with it, let's not border on a troglodyte) Thank you modern medicine.


Tuesday, March 11, 2025

Busy

It was a busy day back after the long weekend. The 01st of March is when everything changes in our company, pay rises, promotions, new baby lawyers, reset, renew, the music stops and everybody stands, so it is always a busy time. Straight after a long weekend, always, so much more to do, with less time to do it in, it's always the way, you've gotta hate that.

Oh universe, I was pulling my hair out, despite having a haircut days before, but I got it done, even if Boris kept giving me the wrong information, which is really unlike her. Grrr. I don't know what she was thinking, or not thinking, as the case may be. Her mind was some where else, clearly. She apologised after each fuck up, profusely after the last couple, which really wasn't necessary, as we are both there just to get things done. No-one is there for recriminations. It will be my turn to fuck up next week, if you know what I mean.

I was thanked for my work. Shrug. I'd rather be writing my blog. Clearly.


Monday, March 10, 2025

Woke

The only thing woke means is that you care about other people.

That's what it means. How could anyone be against that?


Sunday, March 09, 2025

Quiet Weekend

It's really quiet in the streets, it seems like the people have gone away for the long weekend, leaving the place nice and quiet. It's nice, no tourists.

I sing a round of Where Have All The Annoying People Gone, as I walk around to the shops. Whistling between verses. Ha ha. And a little dance right on the side of the footpath, dancing like nobody is watching, because nobody was.

There should be more long weekends. I love long weekends.


Saturday, March 08, 2025

Haircuts, Indian Food, Music

We head into the city and have haircuts.

We go to Melbourne Central and eat Indian food, we take the dogs. Melbourne Central has faux laneways so we eat in them with Brun and Otto. People seem enchanted to see them.

I go to JBHiFi and buy a Rolling Stones Cd and a Guy Sebastian Cd.

I come home and fall asleep on the couch for the afternoon.


Friday, March 07, 2025

Breeding Pair

One of the resident loons, who I have seen around for years, and who just lately seems to have got her medication under control, as she is no longer pacing the street calling out to god to forgive these sinners, quite out of the blue asked me, "Are they a breeding pair?"

"No," I said. "They are not."

"Don't you want to breed with them?" she asked.

"No, no I don't."

"Oh," she said and she walked off.

Not are they both boys, which is clearly my kind of breeding pair, but probably not what she had in mind, I thought. They are also both de-sexed.

She is clearly not a dog person. Nor a genius.


Thursday, March 06, 2025

Day Off, Take The Dogs For A Walk

I just had a shower, was getting dressed. I had one leg in my the leg of my shorts, just about to put my other leg in, when Otto decided it was time for a game and jumped up on me, with enthusiastic force, quite unexpectedly. I was lucky to just grab the end bedhead, spinning around in a half circle, before I hit the floor, or collided with the desk, or the wall, at speed. OMG! The fucker! That’s how I am.

We ran downstairs together. Only to find it was raining when I opened the front door.

Me and Otto looking out with disappointed faces, no doubt. Brun probably looking quite pleased.


Wednesday, March 05, 2025

Wednesday Morning

Wow. It is a lovely morning, almost makes you feel glad to be alive. Oh well, you know, a lovely morning is always nectar for the living.

It does your soul good, seeing the warm sun shining down. And to think daylight savings finishes this weekend.

I'm working, of course. Wednesday. Hump Day.


I made coffee mid morning and I sneaked two lamingtons to have with my coffee, but stupidly left the lamington tin in the middle of the kitchen bench rather than putting the lamington tin back on the shelf. If you are going to sneak lamingtons, don't leave the lamington tin on the kitchen bench, it is a dead give away.


No word on Mark. But right at the moment, I take no news as good news.


Now I have coconut caught in my teeth, which is annoying.


Tuesday, March 04, 2025

Afternoon Walk

It was hot, surprisingly hot. I was waiting for a parcel to be delivered and each time I headed outside to check it seemed to be hotter.

It was almost too hot to take the dogs for a walk, but we took them for a shorter walk, in the afternoon shade where we could manage it to the supermarket to get food for dinner.


Monday, March 03, 2025

Monday

Monday. Back to work.

Apparently, Mark had a bad night, getting fluid in his lungs.

I should have stayed up there and helped. I can work from there.


Sunday, March 02, 2025

Time To Head home

Lollie came up on Wednesday. We sat together at Mark's bedside all week, with Luke. Lollie crocheting.

Lollie and I flew home together today. 

I probably should have stayed and helped Luke.


Friday, February 28, 2025

There's No God

 


Surely, if there was a god, I'd have one of these, I'm a nice guy, I'm nice to all the people I meet.


Thursday, February 27, 2025

Music





I wondered if such a strong, primal voice as Nina Simone's would get into Mark's consciousness being played across his land. You know, float on the air to him, or something.

I hoped it might. Funny the places your mind goes to when you are grasping at any possibility.

I guessed I'd have to take it to his hospital room.

Then I thought today, I might play him music in his hospital room, as he lies there out to it, hooked up to a multitude of machines.


Wednesday, February 26, 2025

Sing It, Nina





I listened to Nina Simone all day. Cottage door open, her dulcet tones floating off across the rain forest. Sun shining. It is a small slice of paradise here, it really is.


I wasn't going to work, I told Boris that this morning. But then she phoned me sounding pathetic, and Mark's brother and sister were visiting Mark, so I was letting them have their time, so I wasn't working anyway, so I told Boris I would work, and I worked all day.


Tuesday, February 25, 2025

This Is A Terrible Turn Of Events

Mark is really unwell. I am holding my breath. We sit vigil in his hospital room, I guess, waiting for any sign of improvement, no matter how small. There has really been none so far.


Monday, February 24, 2025

Two Hour Flight




I'm getting a plane to Northern Rivers, as the doctors don't know if Mark is going to make it.

I'm numb.

I get a flight leaving 3 hours later. Sam booked it for me. He packed me a bag and ordered me an Uber.

I am at the airport in 2 hours.

The sun is shining and the sky is blue as I walk out to the aircraft.


Sunday, February 23, 2025

Sunday Screen Day

I should have gone to the gym today, as I never made it Tuesday, so I only got there for one day this week. It's not enough. I'd say my bad, but I want to kill anyone I hear use that stupid expression.

But, I didn't get there. I intended to go, but I didn't. You know how it is.

We went walking early. It was actually a great day for walking, as there was a fairly strong breeze, which I love. I love the wind it makes me feel alive. And it sure made a change to yesterday, blowing away all the heat and the sweat and stickiness, right out of our, er, souls? Hair? Saturday? I dunno, but it made a nice change.

Then it was just couches and screens, you know how it is.


It deluged with rain, like a torrential storm, the only type we seem to get now a days, climate change anyone, then it died off as if it was over. Then there was a lull where we all caught our breath watching the street gutters expel the run off. Then it poured with rain again, rain drops bouncing off the ground like bullets. Then it stopped and the sun came out brightly, sparkling and glistening on the rain drops hanging off everything.


Mark still isn't really coming good. He's not getting worse, but he's not getting better either. What does that say about post-operative infection? I don't know. Everyone is staying positive. I wish I wasn't 1600 kilometres away. I should have gone. Cross your fingers.


Saturday, February 22, 2025

Hot Day

It was hot today, what can you do when it is hot? You know, when the air feels like soup to breathe in, when it almost feels solid when you walk out into it, when it hits you straight away.

We washed the dogs, that's a good hot day activity. All of us under all that water, it is a nice place to be, except for Otto who still hasn't got used to the shower raining down on him. So, a jug poured over him, many jugs poured over him, does the job. 

Then we took them walking so they dried off in the sunshine. Much easier than trying to towel dry them. And it's not so suffocating as drying them with a hair dryer in an enclosed bath room.

And when it got really hot, we hid inside away from the heat. Both of us sprawled out on a couch each, Brun and Otto lying wherever they like.

That was Saturday. Over too quickly, as Saturdays always are. Over to fats. That day, for me anyway, that is an oasis in the middle of other days off.


Friday, February 21, 2025

Friday

I got my lazy arse to the gym today. That's once this week. That's once last week. It's not enough. I must go more often. I don't know why I can't, I don't find it hard once I am there. It's just getting my shit together and getting there. (It literally only takes a short walk)

I was pretty much the only one in the gym. The cute instructor was boxing when I got there, but he stopped almost immediately after I got there.

I did take the dogs for an hours walk on both days, so that must count for something, I guess. Although, they are more about sniffing and pissing than they are about exercise.

My ex, Mark, has made a slight improvement. At least that is in the right direction. What else can I say? It is still a waiting game, it would seem.


Thursday, February 20, 2025

Hospital

My ex-boyfriend, Mark, had his gaul bladder removed, actually, in the end I don't think he had it removed, I think they did something to make it better without removing it.

I think it was keyhole surgery, and not the full slice open.

He got an infection after the surgery, which developed into an infection in his blood.

He has been really sick with it, from all accounts struggling to get better.

And for a time there things really didn't look good.

Well, that was last week.

Then they did another MRI and they found that he had some sort fluid retention around, or behind, his pancreas which kept expelling liquid intermittently reinfecting him. Or something.

This week he is in ICU, but they now think they have him on the right treatment.

Cross your fingers.

Oh, boy, he is my best friend. I can hardly breathe when I think about what he is going through. I can't imagine losing him. The greatest guy. And he lives so far way, the Northern Rivers, so I can't just drop into see him, and sit with him, by his bed.


Wednesday, February 19, 2025

Bored At Work

It was really slow work wise for the last three days. I don't know if that was due to my superior work ethic? Ha ha, do you like that? Or is it just the natural slump after the Xmas break.

Oh, I don't know.

I'd worked on the new remunerations for the company, as exciting as that sounds, but those around me don't seem to have pulled their fingers out of their Hoo-ha's, as yet, and that's all seemingly gone on hold, not that that effects me any, as my work is done. Signed off. I had the hard bit, the rest of them just have to impart the information to the people. It just puts off the inevitable changes I have to do when all of my internal clients realise the mistakes they have made forcing them to come back to me and give me their individaul sob stories. I can hardly wait...

Anyway, enough of that. 

I got bored and decided to research modern graphic gay movies, ones with nudity and good sex scenes, real movies, not porn, which there seems to be plenty. I bought eight movies spending just over $200. Lovely.

Being 17, You & I, Shank, Red River - that's the classic in the collection - The Prince, Broken Sky, Acrobat, Horeseplay, The Blond One, and Free Fall, mainly because of the two confused, handsome, blond, straight guy, main characters

That's quite a lot of foreign language movies, as I like them to be real and true to life. I don't want a whole lot of camp guys zhooshing about, no thank you.

Anyway, they should all arrive in due course.

Sam is going to Japan with his mum and dad in April, taking them on holidays. And I'm going to have a gay movie marathon. Lovely.


Tuesday, February 18, 2025

Will & Harper

We watched Will & Harper 

Will Farrell goes on a road trip around America with his friend of 30 years Harper Steele who has just transitioned as a trans woman. Harper used to travel the length and breathed of America before she transitioned and this would be the first time since transition that she would return to those places apprehensive that she’d be able to visit the same places now.

It's uplifting to hear someone's story of finding happiness in their lives.

It is such a shame that trans people are being used as the political punching bag by conservatives. What business is it of anyone's other than the trans person and their family and perhaps their medical people. Conservatives who really have nothing in their lives other than what? A multitude of lies that make them feel better about themselves, failing christianity and some strange belief they'd rather be living in the 1950s.


Monday, February 17, 2025

Just Call Me Warren Buffett

I was going to buy some shares, but I hesitated when some of the reviews I read said they'd done their rise in value by then. So, I didn't buy them. I checked in with them a few days later and their value had risen above what I would have paid, so I panic bought them, which is never good, I know that, but half as many as I was going to buy originally. And the moment I bought them, their price plunged back to the original price I would have paid for them if I hadn't hesitated. So, that was good. 👍 Another success story.

Just call me Warren Buffett.

Still, their value could still come back, even though half as many aren't really going to do me much good in the end.

I don't know, hopefully.


Sunday, February 16, 2025

Climate Change

Climate change anyone.

Last Saturday it was 40 degrees, hot and sunny. This Saturday we have the open fire burning, as it is wet and cold outside. 

I still don't know why us humans aren't taking the imminent demise of our species by climate change seriously. The evidence is there for us to see on a daily basis, practically.

In this instance, we had a fire just because Sam took advantage of the cool day to burn off all the cardboard/paper debris that has been thrown into our fireplace over summer. 

But then, my pyromaniac instincts are lit up whenever I see flames and I couldn't help myself but to go and get all the rubbish bits of wood from the wood delivery 6 months ago, that we will never burn otherwise, and throw them on the flames to keep them burning. 

I tell you, if I had slightly different brain chemistry I'd be masturbating, a match in my other hand, as fires take a hold of the bush in the country at the hight of summer. 

None the less, the change in the weather is dramatic.


Saturday, February 15, 2025

Brave New World?

You know there is no such thing as ‘woke.’ Other than being a conservative political construct.

No, it doesn’t exist.

Anybody fighting against ‘woke’, or saying the world is too ‘woke’, is essentially saying, I want to be able to say what I want and to discriminate against whom ever I chose. They are really just saying, essentially, I am a bigot.

If you don’t believe me, ask any one of the Everything-is-woke-brigade to define what they mean by ‘woke.’

In fact, if you don't believe me, tell me what 'woke' is yourself.

No white person will be able to give me the same definition.


The, actual, original meaning of being woke, that is before the conservatives comandeeered it for political gain, is when Black people become aware of social and political issues affecting them in the world.

That is the, actual, meaning of woke.


Friday, February 14, 2025

Happy Friday

It's been a lazy kind of day.

I took the dogs for a walk. I went and bought some stuff I needed, eye drops, chemist stuff.

We ate curry chicken for lunch, after which I lay on the couch not intending to do anything else for the day.

However, Sam has now asked me about going to the gym several times in his inimitable style, you know that way that only a partner can ask you about something they clearly think you should be doing, so finally I am off to the gym.

Wish me luck.


Thursday, February 13, 2025

Going For A Walk Early In The Day Is Always Good


 


It was nice walking early today before it got hot. Mornings are magical. It was forecast to be 37 today, it got close to that, but I don't think it quite made it to that. Good to get exercise over first thing in the day, it makes you feel good for the rest of the day.

Wednesday, February 12, 2025

Okay, That's Not Good

Boris calls me in the morning. "Has anyone from the office spoken to you today?"

Instantly, I think I am being sacked. What does that say about me?

In the next instant, I think this is about my non-compliance with the going into the office as now required.

"No," I say. Probably nervously. I don't know, I don't hear myself.

It turns out, she is calling about our beloved boss. "The PooBah has a brain tumour and is as we speak being operated on in an emergency operation."

"Oh, that is terrible, poor PooBah," I say.

"Are you okay?" asks Boris.

Am I okay, I think? What? Oh yes, of course, that is the part we are playing. I mean, seriously, why would I be emotionally devastated by this. I like our boss, but I don't have the brain tumour.

"It is a great shock to all of us," says Boris.

I must play along, and I switch into concerned colleague. "Oh, poor [I use his name, of course] that's awful. Yes, I'm okay," I say. I almost feel like a fraud saying I'm okay.

"It is very serious," says Boris.

Serious for our boss, not so serious for us.

Apparently, the company has hired a psychologist, or someone similar, to attend to any of us incase we are over come with grief. 

Seriously, I think. "Oh, have they, well good to know," I say.

"The Midget is now in charge," says Boris.

Oh god, The Midget in charge, now I need counselling. Little Miss Humourless. Now she could insist I comply with the current in the office requirements. Damn, I think.


A short time later, HR calls to tell me officially.

"That's terrible news," I tell FatBoy from HR.

"I don't want a new boss, the Big Poo is a great guy," I say.

"Yes, our prayers are with him," says FatBoy.

He's going to need more than you stupid prayers, I think. "Yes," is all I could manage to that.

FatBoy reiterates various counselling programs the company has put in place. He says something about prayers more than once.

I thank him and finish the call.


I wonder what this means about my non-compliance with being in the office. The Big Poo had been pretty lenient towards me up until now. The Midget isn't likely to be so lenient. Damn, I think, again.

Everybody loves our big boss, he is kind and funny and good at what he does. He is always interested in all of us.

How about that, you never know, now do you. He is uber successful, he has a happy family life, and kids who, from all accounts, are exceptional like him and successful.

He is sporty and healthy. He goes overseas and does triathlons in his down time. He was supposed to be on holidays OS this week with his wife.


Tuesday, February 11, 2025

Okay HR, Your Help Won't Be Required Any Longer

I sign into work at 6am. I read Sydney HR manager FishFace's whingie emails first thing. More senior legal Sydney woman - what is it with senior Sydney legal women, I ask you? - pissing their pants over practically nothing.

Those expensive hoo-ha's pissing out liquid into their nylon knickers at the slightest affront that they feel. I imagine it as a scene from Little Britain.

They must be so rung out with the battle ground of our northern neighbour city that any little thing is likely to trigger them and set them off as monsters.

And then they can be as dumb as a box of fucking rocks with any explanation they receive.

To be fair, sometimes they can be as sweet as a kitten with a little sweet talking too, but so often it is the other.

I don’t think anyone is all that nice to them, in the pig fight that is Sydney.

And, of course, our love-a-good-drama HR team plays right into these entitled woman’s sense of outrage. HR throws petrol on the fire, not water, always in a self-aggrandising effort, to make themselves look better.

So, the first thing I do is cut HR out of any discussions I might have with those who feel wronged. You know, get rid of the super girl drama queen element, isolate them, make it one on one. And then, you know, I can fake sincerity better than just about anyone else. 9 times out of 10, I win them over and kind of jedi mind trick them out of any sense of having-been-done-wrong-by just by being even handed, and drama free. Calm, steady voice.

This is not going to hurt. Trust me. See, what did I tell you, pain free.

And I get a "thank you Christian," from the apparently enraged Sydney professional, once HR's drama queen input has been removed from the situation.

Easy.

Now, wiping my hands together, another fire storm put out. How they cope with making important life decisions, I will never know.


Monday, February 10, 2025

The Substance

We watched The Substance, it was fullon, quite a movie. Quite the imagination the writer had. It's not really my kind of movie, traditional horror movie, but I liked it none the less.

David bought it over. He raved about it. I'm not sure I would rave about it. David is in Melbourne for a few weeks servicing his sycophant base.

Demi Moore lauded for the work she did in this horror movie. She won an award.

It is kind of following in that tradition of the horror maven for actresses of a certain age. Not sure what that says about roles for older females having not changed any over time.

It was worth watching, it was well done, and kind of interesting.


Sunday, February 09, 2025

Car Jacked

A friend of mine was at a western suburbs shopping centre. He had just got back into his car, having started it, when a group of youths pulled out a machete and he got car jacked.

"Get out of the car," the youths said threateningly.

He got out of the car and just said, "take it." He didn't argue. The car has more insurance than I do, he thought. And the three youths jumped into the car slamming the doors in front of him.

Now, these youths clearly didn't know their cars. My mate drives a brand new Honda Civic Type R. This car looks super sporty, and it is, it is a really hot car, but all Honda Civic Type R's have a manual gear box.

The car's gear box made a terrible grinding sound. The car kangaroo hopped forward and stalled. They re-started it and it kangaroo hopped forward and stalled again. And then the youths jumped out of the car and ran off with their tails between their legs, leaving all the doors open as if the car just vomited the rats out of it.

They couldn't drive a manual gearbox. 

My mate was laughing as he was on the phone to the police.

"Best laugh I have had all week," he said. "No really, it was the funniest thing. Idiots!"


Saturday, February 08, 2025

Saturday

What did I do today? I don't know? I think I was discombobulated from working Friday. The week just doesn't seem normal. It wasn't normal.

And the weather turned cold, which was kind of disorienting after all the heat we've had. Where in the seasons are we?

It was just a weird day.

We walked the dogs to the shopping centre and Sam did grocery shopping. Brun, Otto and I sat in the centre entrance, me with my back up against the shop window, writing my journal, holding their leads. Then we bought pork rolls and bought them home for lunch.

That was about it.

Then we did screens sprawled on the couches for the rest of the day. We ate sesame balls and drank coffee.

Nyr!

There is the big, gay street party tomorrow. At the end of our street.

Life goes on.

Otto wants to play ball for how many hours in the lounge room after dinner? He wouldn't stop playing ball in the lounge room after dinner, if he had his way.


Friday, February 07, 2025

Friday

I worked all day. What can I say. Sad Face. Yeah, sure, I did work. I kept myself busy all day doing all those things I needed to get done.

I played David Bowie all day. Lodger. Tonight. Never Let Me Down. Let’s Dance. Scary Monsters and Super Freaks.

Whenever I work Fridays, I kind of feel cheated with only a 2 day weekend. It just feels unfair. It just doesn’t feel like a good work/life balance, having to front up only two days later.

The weather was good. Mild. Not Really hot. I took the dogs for a walk. And for the rest of the day, Otto lay at my feet. Brun always heads upstairs with Sam and he lies at Sam's feet.

I hope Boris had a nice day.

I didn't go to the gym. I should have gone to the gym. Why didn't I go to the gym? I should have taken an hour and half and gone to the gym.


I fell asleep on the couch in front of the TV. I slept there for most of the night. It is the best thing. Seriously. Who doesn't love falling asleep othe couch.

Then I lay in bed, when we finally went to bed, tossing and turning thinking I wouldn’t sleep after all the sleep I’d already had. That means it took me more than 5 minutes, and probably less than 10 minutes to fall back to sleep.


Thursday, February 06, 2025

Do I Want To Work?

I have to work tomorrow. Nyr! It seemed like a good idea at the time, you know, be nice, say yes, be a team player.

Ah! Fuck that shit! I don't want to work tomorrow. I must learn to say no to Boris, I don't care if she has to go interstate for an appointment she just has to keep.

And now when it comes to Thursday night, I get to thinking, I don't want to work tomorrow. What was I thinking?


Today, I took the dogs for a walk early, I made lasagne for lunch, I sniffed around the shops while that was cooking, and I lay on the couch for the afternoon and did fuck all, full of lasagne.

I would much rather be doing that tomorrow than working on my day off. I don't need to work extra days. I've just got to stop being so nice.


Wednesday, February 05, 2025

Running For Our Lives

I put on Marianne Faithfull's Child's Adventure and get to work. It is a great album.

I'm pulling the week together, even if Boris has got me to work Friday.

Yeah, sure, no problem, I say to her when she asks me about working Friday.

No, fuck off, don't make me work extra days, I think to myself.

But, what can you do. Be a team player, as revolting as that expression sounds, it is the easiest way to work. Such awful truths, I think, almost with shame at my own passive niceness.


Tuesday, February 04, 2025

Lord Voldemort Dutton

There is a current political ad where Lord Voldemort Dutton is sitting with a young girl, looking down at her smiling.

My mind can't help but go to a kind of flashback, flash forward, I guess, where fangs suddenly protrude from his mouth and he suddenly bites the little girl's head off.

He looks at the little girl like he is hungry. (But then, with a face as ugly as his reading emotions is dificult)

It's a metaphor for what he'll do to the country with his opportunistic Trump'esque conservative ideas. He'll bite the head right off equality and progressive Australia.


Monday, February 03, 2025

Marianne Faithfull

I feel sad about Marianne Faithfull dying. Silly really. I saw her sing live twice and she was great.

I've been listening to her music for the last few days. Of course, I haven't listened to it recently much lately.

I forgot how much I love her music, you know, as you always do. Life is busy.


Sunday, February 02, 2025

Voldemort Dutton

I've been watching I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Wow! and I tell you what, you can tell the federal election is in it's way with the sheer number of Voldemort Dutton ads on in the ad break. They are really pushing his ugly face. Oh that, and his terrible conservative identity type politics devoid of policies.


Saturday, February 01, 2025

Peas In A Pod

They do like being together

 

Out & About Early

I like being up early, I find I love the newness of the early morning more and more. It feels new and safe and unspoiled.

Today is a hot day coming up, in fact there are 3 hot days coming up in a row, so the weather dept tells us.

We take the dogs for a walk early, before the hot weather, even before their breakfast. Not before my breakfast though, never before my breakfast.

The morning seemed gentle and serene, fresh like new life, even if there were people out and about, probably getting in some life before the really hot weather arrives.

Then we were home, indoors for the rest of the day.

The day sparkled beyond our windows, which kind of gives me that heightened feeling of safe at home. Our house is naturally cool as it is 150 years old and solid triple brick, so it can withstand the heat of a few hot days. So, it's nice to be at home.

Now I must close down YouTube and get back to some writing.


Friday, January 31, 2025

In The Gym

I’m in the gym in between exercises, sweating. I’m sitting on the Leg Press, the next machine for me to use. I see the other guys on their phones in between reps and wonder at what they are looking. So, this is my version.

There’s a couple of muscles queens here with me. Mid afternoon workout. I don’t if they suck dick, or lick snatch, truthfully, of course,  but all men in the gym look gay to me. It’s a very gay place. The shorts, and the exposed flesh, and the sweat. The dance music pumps. They are grunting and sweating and wandering about.

I'm just sitting here questioning my life choices, watching a big lad on his knees pulling a lat pull down cable over the back of his head, over his shoulders, I guess. I'm watching his eyes squint, and his guns tense, his moves ever so reminiscent of ballet, but that's alright, when I am sweating and puffing and panting and my t-shirt is wet and stuck to me, in the gym, I am always questioning my life choices.

Of course, I imagined him in tights, his short shorts gave me a good idea what that would look like.

I laugh to myself at the thought of using mind power to make him get up and dance like a marionette. There would be ambient Japanese music playing, for a lyrical performance.

The walls are painted dark blue, and there are virtually no windows, I wonder if that is deliberate, or just a matter of circumstance?

I look around the room. I wipe the sweat from my face with my towel. Does it work like a captive cell?

Anyway, shake my head, this Leg Press isn’t going to work itself. Gotta go.


Thursday, January 30, 2025

Day Off

I had a day to myself. Sam went into the office. I took the dogs for a walk early. I bought a muffin. I drink 6 cups of coffee, one cup with the muffin. I lay on the couch after that. The bulldogs cuddled up. The sun shone outside. It was a gorgeous day. I ate leftover pork belly for lunch. I went and did grocery shopping, chicken and salad and eggs, as Sam was in the office. The day shone outside, bright and sparkly. I like spending a day on my own from time to time. I never get bored on my own. I didn't write. I told myself to write. Good thing I have another day off tomorrow.

Once I get on that couch, and stretch out, and there is no one to tell me otherwise, writing, nyr. Just relax, there is always tomorrow. Out the window. I was going to do what? I can't remember. Who cares. All my lazy senses kick in, don't you worry about that. Big stretch. Fuck everything. Ha ha.

There's a part of me that just wants to do nothing for the rest of my life, and there is the other part of me that fights that.


Wednesday, January 29, 2025

Numbers People

I pulled a whole bunch of spreadsheets together for The Midget. (Oh yes, I know, kill me now) Of course, I had to put them into a combined Adobe file, as The Midget can't abide a whole bunch of free and loose spreadsheets in an email. I numbered them, so she'd be able to sort through them more easily.

Just as I was completing the task, I noticed that I'd numbered them 1 to 15, but stupid me had left out the number 5. It went 1 to 4 and then 6 to 15. Oh well, it makes no difference, I think, it's just a tool to put them in order, the numbers don't, actually, mean anything, other than the order in which she should, probably, look at them, but even that is up to her.

So I pushed send on my email to her.

They were sent back to me with the note, You have missed number 5.

I explained it was just an order to look at them.

But you have missed number 5, she replied.

It doesn't matter, the numbers are just a guide...

Oh no, The Midget wasn't having any of that. A full-on OCD event was unfolding, Please re-number the spreadsheets and resubmit them to me, with a complete number sequence.

Seriously? I thought. OMG! I have to get away from these people, was my next thought.

Re-number them yourself, was, actually, my second thought, but, you know, years of working in the corporate world has taught me not to try that one... again. 😬

How do these people survive in the real world when things get tough, I wondered?


Oh yes, I know, it is kind of sad that this appears to be the most interesting part of my day. Grimace. I really need to look at my life.

Anyway, I re-numbered them with the number 5 included.

I was tempted to number them all with the number 5, that made me laugh to myself. Could you imagine? I so wanted to.

I was thinking about the clip, Number 5 Killed My Brother, as I hit send the second time. I don't know if The Midget has a brother, but I hoped so. I imagined a giant, bright yellow, plastic number 5 falling on him in a city street, his red blood splashing all over the yellow plastic, making red polka dots from the head wound from where the 5 first hit him. 

Then I imagined The Midget falling to her knees next to his lifeless body and wailing to the sky, "Oh why did I ask for the number 5" Sobbing.

That made me smile too.

Funny the things you think, hey?


Tuesday, January 28, 2025

In The Office

I had to go into the office, yesterday, Boris told me last week, as the IT department wanted to uninstall something from my laptop and I had to front up in person so they could do it.

So I headed into the office. Boris wasn't in, as it turned out, but the big boss was pleased to see me, but he's always pleased. He has that unwavering enthusiasm, but then, so might I if I got 500K a year.

So, Muscles, the IT guy, comes around mid-morning to say he had to do the uninstall and it would take about 10 minutes. I dither with my response and instead of saying, okay, yes, do it now, here's my computer, Muscles says he'd come back at lunch time, what time did I go?

He'd no sooner walked away when I told myself I was an idiot and that I should have got him to do it there and then, which he would have, as that was the only thing keeping me in the office, today, with Boris not in.

So, stupid me, I told myself.

Then I was scheming after that to get the job done sooner than later.

Anyway, as I'd got in early, I could realistically go to lunch early, and I was planning to go at 10.30am, which of course was too early in anyone's language. 

I had all my work done, so I had very little to, actually, keep me occupied. At least at home, I could do my own writing. Oh, I'd find something, don't worry about that.

It seemed like hours passing progressing from 10.30am. At 10.55am, I couldn't wait any longer and I headed around to Muscles office to tell him I'd started early, which isn't a stretch as when I start early, Muscles is usually the next one in after me, so he knows I start early, not that I had to prove anything to him, of course, but it is true none the less.

He looks really busy when I see him with a laptop under each arm and his phone in his hand.

"I'm going to lunch, as I started early," I say.

Even with everything in his hands, he still managed to flip his wrist around and look at his watch. "Okay, then. You go for an hour?"

"Yes," I say. Again, I chastise myself, why didn't I say half an hour.

I go get lunch. I sit in the lunch room, instead of at my desk like I usually do, giving Muscles full rein of my computer.

I finish my lunch in 20 minutes reading the hardcopy newspapers in the kitchen. I walk back to my office 25 minutes later. I see Muscles walking away from my computer.

"You done?" I say.

"Yes." He comes back to my office and gets me to sign in and he checks a couple of things.

"All done," he says.

Free, I think.

I go wash my coffee cup. 

On my way back, I see the Grand Poobah in conference with The Midget in his office, and I figured they wouldn't notice me any time soon. So I shut down and pack up and get out the door in record time, like a bandit, still when it is morning, only just, but still morning.

I was hoping The Big Poo and The Midget were in conference for the longest time, you know, quarterly figures, some shit. Also hoped they wouldn't need anything from me, unlikely, but so what, what if they did, I thought, as I motored up Collins Street and away. They won't. Too late, anyway.


Monday, January 27, 2025

My Kindle

"There!" Sam exclaims.

"What?"

"There!" He points down the side of the couch with his chin.

He needed a torch to show me what he'd found.

I look to where the torch was pointing.

"What?"

"There," he repeats, like that clearly, um, clears it up.

"Oh, great."

There was my Kindle, down the side of the couch, between the bookcase and the side table.

"See!"

"Thanks honey, you are great."

"I knew I'd find it first try," says Sam triumphantly. I guess that was proof of something, which escaped me right at that moment.

"Well, no, I didn't look down there," I say. I hoped with a tone that indicated that my very actions were that of a reasonable man. i.e. nobody would have looked there.

And, I don't think Sam could quite understand why I hadn't found it, in the slit of a space between heavy furniture in the dark, almost entirely obscured.

I didn't know why I didn't find it down there either.

Of course, it is Sam who takes my Kindle and puts it on the side table next to the couch out of the way when he cleans. The same side table our bulldog just loved to climb under when he was a 10 kilo puppy, which now he can only fit under by causing volcano like vibrations as he squeezes his 30 kilo body through the same space, causing everyone to make a grab for whatever is on the coffee table before it all hits the floor, but I didn't mention that, I was just pleased to get my kindle back.


Sunday, January 26, 2025

YouTube Junkie

Take no notice of me if I make any comments about TikTok junkies, disparaging, or not, as I am a YouTube junkie. It's true, I know it.

I can spend hours, mindlessly...

All day on the couch, not problem. I like it too much.

I guess you could say it's a problem, in a sense. 

Yeah, sure it is. But then, so is global warming, and no-one is really taking that seriously.

Sunday, fuck it! I'm watching my favourite Canadian car restoration show.

"Hey, Mr Trump, let me put it in words you will understand, fuck off."

And tomorrow is a public holiday.


It's not productive. YouTube.

I read a short story this morning, The Feminist, it was good too. Reading a short story is productive, I can feel the inspiration soaking into me. I must write more fiction. Do it instead of watching YouTube.

I must find my kindle, I've misplaced it somewhere, which doesn't help me put down YouTube and read, let me tell you.

Now, where did I put it? Where did I put that damn thing? There can't be that many places where it would be. Surely?


Saturday, January 25, 2025

Saturday, Day One Of The Long Weekend

It’s a beautiful sunny day. What to do? Sam seems keen to do something. I’m a lazy bastard though, of course, I'm happy to do nothing. We all know that. But, I'd better do something, I've learned that too, just do, you can always be lazy later. There is always later.

Should we go to the dog beach in Altona? We'd talked about that recently. Let’s hope it’s different to the Brighton dog beach, which always feel is a bit like a slightly out of control Wild West. I look up details for the Altona dog beach, it’s not clear if it’s restricted at this time of year or not. I find which beach is restricted but that doesn’t seem to be the dog beach. Even though the blurb for the dog beach does say it has certain restrictions in the warmer months, I can't seem to find it. Suddenly the beach seems too hard. Go all that way across town and then can't use it when we get there, ah no.

So, we decide to head down to the river, take a bucket of balls and throw them on the grass. So, we get in the car and head to the Yarra. The new bike path, while it seemed to have very little movement there for a while, has certainly progressed now. The whole raised path is nearly all the way up the river bank embankment.

We throw balls around until midday. Brun is always keen to keep throwing balls. Otto eventually goes and lies in the shade under a tree,

There are gay boys with French bulldogs. There are lesbians with Puggles. There are all kinds of Oodles, whichever type they are. There’s a couple with a picnic blanket and food with cattle dogs, who look like they are trying for something romantic. There’s skinny, sickly looking yuppy types with Jack Russells, no doubt vegans. Ha ha.

Then we go do some grocery shopping after that. Brun, Otto and me, er, I lay around in the entrance to the shopping centre on the cool black tiles whilst Sam shops. The sun shines in the street beyond the canopy of the shopping centre entrance. People stop and say hello to the Bulldogs, many people stop. I write my journal.

The three of us sit on the floor together.

Pretty soon, Sam reappears with bags of shopping. We head to the Asian grocery across the road where Sam does some more shopping. A mother walks past with a pram and her two sons in tow, one of which has his focus glued to his phone, so much so he doesn't see the dogs until the last minute with a start.

We head to the butcher. The last stop is the banh mi.

Then it’s time to head home. The day just sparkles as we head to the car. It is really quite lovely wandering back up the street to the car.

We eat pork rolls, when we get home. We take lunch home for Charlie. Then we eat a fancy chocolate dessert, which is really too rich for our own good, and drink coffee to wash down the rich chocolate taste. Then we lay about rubbing our stomachs.

And then we just relax for the rest of the day.

Still, two more days to go of the long weekend, makes me smile.


We did discuss America's new piece of shit president, of course, you can't get away from it at the moment. His compulsive lies. His unmitigated cruelty. Him walking away from the nothing but verbose promises he made. We're still completely baffled how someone, who tried to steal an election he lost, and when his attempts to steal it didn't work, he organised his thugs to attack the very seat of American government he craved to stop the real winner from being certified, can be put into power in the next election. Are American's that stupid? It really is the only logical conclusion the rest of the world can come to. Really! Stupidity? A failure of education? What else can we all think?


Sam is fascinated by Elon Musk's Nazi salute. So, we talked about that a good deal of the time. Musk backs far right political parties in Germany and Britain, amongst other places. His family, allegedly, has a history of Nazis. And yet, some conservatives attempt to write it off as some kind of awkward twitch.

I think it's probably because he never had any friends, and now he'll do anything to maintain his word wide audience. He really is just a sad little clown deep down, it would appear. I can't help but see him in Pierrot clown's makeup whenever I look at him. You can't help but think that everything he does is a sad cry for attention. Look at me! Look at me! I wonder how long it will be before he flames out, or is locked away in an institution, probably rehab, but could easily be a mental hospital.


When I got sick of all the political talk, I listened to one of Marcia Hines old albums.

I watched crazy Karen YouTube clips. I don't know why they are strangely satisfying, but they are. And when I really enter into the waste of time olympics, I get into road rage videos. How to let the afternoon roll away swiftly on the couch watching morons and halfwits.


Friday, January 24, 2025


This is what I woke up to this morning, bleary-eyed in the semi dark, hogging the bed space. Good thing we have a kingsized bed, hey? They like their space, they take it, push us out. They have no concept of boundaries.

They don't get up early, they are not early risers, the two of them. Brun using Otto as a pillow, too cute. It makes me wake up with a smile.  But that's what they are, smile makers, that's why we have dogs after all, they make us smile.


Thursday, January 23, 2025

Exercise Improves Your health

It was my last meet up with my trainers today. I rode my bike there, of course, it was nice. My last trip to Prahran. I liked the ride, through parks, mostly. Keep away from cars, as much as you can, when you ride, it's the best way.

I met up with girl trainer 2. The head of the program was there too. We did all sorts of tests, on an exercise bike, hooked up to a computer with wires all over me, breathing apparatus attached to my face, plus a blood pressure cuff. 

The conclusion was my fitness is significantly improve to when I started this process 6 months ago, improved because of my willingness to engage in exercise.

They said I had been a star pupil.

So, it proves that even moderate exercise improves your health.

Now, I have to continue with my exercise routines, on my own.

I'll have a 12 month review, after which I will be entirely on my own.

I rode home with a certain sense of achievement, which I guess it was. Had. It felt good. A great improvement, they said. So, it had all been worth it then, I had to think. And my ongoing exercise program was worth it too.

It felt like the end of something, which it was, I guess, kind of. I don't know why I felt a kind of nostalgia, silly really. I guess it was because I'd enjoyed the process. I liked girl trainer number one, as well as girl trainer number two.

Who would have thought I'd be doing gym again after stopping however many years ago, I thought, as I pushed my feet on the bike pedals, the tyres making that crunch sound bike tyres make on gravel paths. I guess it was now going to be ongoing. I don't love it like I did the first time around, but I don't hate it. I wonder some times if that's the best it can get? It's good, though, I thought. Good enough.

Today is my gym day, I thought, but I guess I'd done enough working out for the day, so I guess I wouldn't be going to gym today. Not really ideal after getting a good report card. I laughed to myself at the thought. The park path stretched out in front of me rising up in a sweeping incline to the other side of the park.


Wednesday, January 22, 2025

Karma

I love hearing people talk about karma. They speak of it as some sort of natural retribution phenomena. It is like some sort of magical evening-out mechanism. It is something that puts the occurrences in the world into some sort of natural order.

If you do something bad, karma is going to come for you. Really?

No, there is no such things as Karma. It might make people feel better about themselves and their place in the world, but no, there is no great magical hand ready to sweep across the universe and put wrongs right.

I just don't think people think about these things. (But then, it's good for a laugh, people's naivety) Look at it, there are too many cunts in the world getting away with shit for it to be even remotely true.

The only karma-like response that might happen maybe a reaction to the negative energy you might put out in the world. If you exude negative energy all the time, you will probably attract negative energy back to you.


If I steal something, and nobody knows that I stole it, there is no karmic debt coming for me. Nothing. There is no great spiritual entity keeping tabs.

Maybe, if I am aggressive and rude and generally toxic to all the people I meet, then yes I am probably going to attract aggression and rudeness and toxicity back to me, so there is some kind of karmic debt coming in my direction, in that situation. Most likely. I would attract it.

If I committed the perfect murder, and nobody knew I'd done it, there is no karmic debt.

If I go around killing people, like a serial killer and people know it is me racking up the body count, there is a very good chance someone would kill me.

If I steal from the deaf & blind and the sick, you know, even terrible things, and the deaf & blind and the sick, don't know, and I get away with it, no I don't have to be afraid of any karmic debt.


Thinking that the natural order of the world would eventually catch up to me for my bad deeds, all other things being equal, is just magical thinking. I know it probably makes people feel better about themselves and their places in the world but, no, there is no natural balancing out mechanism in the world. People are weird who think so.

When I do something terrible, of questionable moral value, even when I put mangoes through as potatoes at the supermarket, for instance, and worse, I never tell anyone, I never tell a soul. I guess that is one way to guard against karmic retribution.


Tuesday, January 21, 2025

The National Day That Only Some Of The Population Enjoy

Boris said I had to come into the office on Monday - you see, I told you shouldn't have mentioned it yesterday - something about IT needing to do something with the software on my laptop. Then she corrected herself quickly by saying it was a public holiday on Monday, so I had better come in on Tuesday.

"It's a public holiday on Monday?" I question. Really, I had no idea what it was. I was quite surprised at the suggestion.

"Yes, it's Australia Day," says Boris.

"Oh, are we still doing that," I respond.

"Yes," says Boris.

I guess we have to give the white conservatives a day to do something with their Australia flags and their Southern Cross tattoos, I thought. 

I didn't say it, so there's a gold elephant stamp for me, you know because the conservatives don't like being called, ah, er, racists. 

Funny how you can be one thing, but not like to be called what you are. They hold racist ideas, or ideals, and yet they don't like being called racist? What does that say? They know deep down it is wrong? And they are just too selfish, or stupid to do anything about it?

People are funny.

And it was probably a little too political for work conversation.

Funny how you can have a national day that only a certain percentage of the population celebrate, it doesn't really make it a national day, now does it, no matter how you look at it.

 

Monday, January 20, 2025

Monday

I don't know what to write? It's Monday. And we hate them, as the famous song goes. Er! Fall back into reality with a clunk! Oh, here I am, again.

I was up early, as per usual, 6am. Just me and Milo. The bulldogs aren't early risers. Milo is pretty damn keen for some attention with the two red bullies out of the picture, he almost prostrates himself on my desk. It is a good thing The Cat Council isn't here to witness it, I often think, he'd lose his whiskers.

I made coffee and signed into work. I got going, at it as the day was becoming light.

Still nothing has been said about me not fronting up to the office. I guess I shouldn't keep mentioning it, I don't want to draw the dark energy to me.

David would be very pleased with that, what could almost be construed as an admission to a belief in his magical thinking. He’d be right onto that. 

“See you do believe,” he’d say.

“Nah, luv, just sayin’ it for your benefit,” I’d say. “Load of bollocks.”

Anyway, I was thinking about it today, not going to the office, not David’s nonsense, my, what could almost be called, passive aggressive stance on it, well, what can my boss do but crack the shits with me, really, when I think about it.

My neighbour, Jackson Wag, says I should resign. His eyes positively twinkled at the thought. He said he hasn't had a job for 25 years. (He's go rental properties)

Because I don't work Thursday or Friday, Mondays keep me pretty busy as a rule, just catching up with what everyone wants. Today was no exception.

Too hot to take the dogs for a walk in the arvo, so it was just wheeling the portable aircon into position in the lounge and taking up a couch at 4pm. Sam took them for a walk this morning anyway, before it got hot.

That was it, that was today. This Monday. Done. It will never come again. Ever. Weird to think.

I was listening to Brian Cox. The planets and the solar system were around for a billion years before life started on earth. All those planets, all of those solar systems, just empty, no life. Nothing to witness their existence. Seemingly, no reason to exist at all. Weird to think.


Sunday, January 19, 2025

Head To The City

5.15am. I was up. It was still dark. I join Milo on the couch. He's very happy when the two red bullies aren't up.

There is no milk for coffee, I'd go and get it but the supermarket isn't open yet, so I just have to make do with reading the Guardian.

Lost Ella Fitzgerald recordings to be released – including her take on 60s pop. Oakland concert recording from 1967 features jazz standards alongside unheard Fitzgerald versions of the era’s hits, including Alfie and Music to Watch Girls By.

I read about Ella Fitzgerald. I take another look at her wonderful Mercedes, her 1959 4 door Cabriolet.

6am. It is turning light outside. I lie back on the couch and get more comfortable.

Everyone thought it would cause gridlock’: the highway that Seoul turned into a stream. Cheonggyecheon stream in the South Korean capital has become an attraction – and helps with flood management, fighting air pollution and cooling the city.

I don’t mean to paint badly’: accountant inundated with commissions for ‘terrible’ paintings. Jamie Lee Matthias’s art becomes popular with social media users after seeing his ‘talent’ in portrait of wife.

No coffee and I am, unusually, very hungry and I kind of find it hard to relax, with that hunger niggling at me constantly.

I open my emails

I read a poem called Day of the Dead by Peter Balakian. 

I write my journal.

I catch up my blog workbooks. (I’ve always kept a word document of my blog posts)

7.20am. Sam and Otto are up. Sam complaining about Otto’s habit of sleeping with his head on Sam’s pillow, effectively pushing Sam off it.

Sam dreamed that Otto had faulty gene and the breeder wanted to take him back.

I tell Sam he has to go to the supermarket and get milk, as I need coffee. He tells me to go. I think he thinks that he pays more in food than I do in bills now a days. I don’t really know that. He says everything has gone up, but wouldn’t that apply to bills too? Surely. I resist and a little later I hear the front door open and close.

8am. Sam is back with two shopping bags full of shopping.

“Lovely,” I say.

Sam gives me a look/coy smile.

I make coffee and vegemite toast.


We’re going to have haircuts this morning. I’m keen to get going to get it over and done with, but Sam likes to pair it with lunch, which is a good idea, so we wait.

After breakfast, I got up on the roof and chopped down the creeper. It climbs up the side wall and then up onto the parapet and then it blocks up the box gutter up there, which will rot out if I don’t keep it cleaned out. I haven’t done the chop for a couple of years, clearly.

It was hot up there, in the summer sun, even relatively early, so I have a shower.

10:59am. We walk the Bulldogs into the city for haircuts.

The sun is shining, the sky is perfect blue tile over our heads. It really is a lovely day, lovely for a walk into the city.

Brun balks at the in front of the Imperial Hotel, where there is a group of people congregated on the corner of Bourke Street. I don’t think he wants to walk over the metal cover to the cellar. As he and I do a big circle to avoid the cellar cover, one of the women of the group gathered says, “just gorgeous.” Of course, I could think she was talking about me, but she was talking about the bulldogs.

We get to the hairdresser in Bourke Street. Sam goes in to have the first haircut. 

Initially, there are two guys sitting on ‘our’ seat, in the street, where we always sit. Annoying, I think. But, pretty soon, one of the guy’s wives turns up and they leave together. Brun flops out on the footpath in everyone’s way, of course, as I take the vacant half of the seat. The other guy eyes me, suspiciously, more so the bulldogs, truthfully.

He looked at the bulldogs. He looked at me. He looked in the opposite direction. You’re on my seat, mate, I thought.

I watched people walking past in Bourke Street, rather than look at him, possibly, looking at me, again. I'd hate to hear myself apologise. I wrote this.

Sam is out quickly, suddenly appearing next to me, telling me to hurry on in there, the reason for which I didn’t quite catch, but I hurried in none the less.

A moment later, I am in the chair, as the ugly/cute guy, who I prefer to cut my hair, is unusually free for a Saturday. (The reason for Sam telling me to hurry, clearly) He’s not very chatty, ugly/cute guy, something else I prefer in a hairdresser.

Seven minutes later, I’m done.

I head into JBHiFi, oh, just to have a look and the David Bowie section is empty. How could this be? Life is over as we know it, if David Bowie no longer means anything, I think.

Midday. Sam goes into JBHiFi.

While I am waiting outside, a chick sitting next to me talks about the bulldogs asking how long they live. 

“10 years on average,” I say. “But my last bulldog was a month off twelve.”

“It’s never long enough,” she says.

“No, I could have had another 12 years.”

Then she tells me that I’ll see them on the other side. “Don’t worry, you’ll meet him again.” 

I probably would really respond to this normally, but she says it was such an intensity that she’s trying to convince me holding my gaze, and I think another disillusioned idiot.

“No,” I say.

“You will, it’s okay.”

“No,” I say. “There is nothing after this.”

“Yes, there is,” she says.

“No,” I say “it’s not.”

She tells me to watch someone on YouTube, Matt someone, he’ll change my mind.

“What?”

She repeats his name. This was the evangelical bit, I thought.

 “I don’t need to watch anyone on YouTube.” I tell her. “There’s nothing after this.”

“Yes, there is,” she says.

“No, this is it. This is all you get,” I say.

She didn’t wanna talk to me after that. Pretty quickly she meets a friend. I’m too busy writing our conversation down in my journal to look up.

We’re at Momo Central Napoli‘s restaurant Bourke Street eating a platter of dumplings which are great. We’re sitting outside. It’s a lovely warm day. The sun is shining. We put the umbrella up, mostly because it blocks our view of each other when it is down.

Before 1pm, we’re walking back up Burke Street towards home.

Half an hour later, we’re home.

It is quite a warm day. 26 degrees.

We do couches and screens.

We drink coffee and eat cinnamon donuts.

Sam goes to the supermarket. He is returning his bone broth sachets, 3 of them, he bought for the dogs, one of them he’d opened which he hopes to also return. Coles wouldn’t take back the opened one. Funny about that.

Midafternoon, we’re eating frozen mango desert balls. They are good.

(If you think that diet at the end of the day sounds a little iffy? I guess it was, but it was good)


Saturday, January 18, 2025

Give Me The Shits

I'm back on Ozempic as it did keep my blood sugars in the correct range previously. High blood sugar probably had something to do with the heart thing in July, so...

But the bowel problems have started again. Grrr!

The surgeon who did my colonoscopy says it is constipation caused by the Ozempic, a common side effect, apparently, and I have to take constipation meds, which I have been taking since Tuesday when I started taking Ozempic again, and here it is 3 days later and nothing. Zip. Nada. Oh, a couple of slivers, which I have had to work hard to get out, risking an aneurysm kind of difficult, but nothing really. Still practically just a vacuum, not the sucking kind, no chuckle, as in the airless kind.

15.01.2025

Okay, so I was being far too timid with everything, the story of my life really. If I'd been far less timid with my professional life, writing life, share market life, my life would be completely different by now, not that I want it to be different, to tell you the truth, kind of happy with how it is, but you get my point... however, I digress.

So, I had to read all the instructions again, er, um, read them for the first time, let's be honest, and I realised I can up my dose 3 fold - of everything - to make it all work. Cross your fingers.

16.01.2025

Okay, I went to see my nice pharmacist in Brunswick Street to see if he had any alternatives I could try, to get it all back on the normal shit show. And while he couldn't offer me an alternative, he did tell me I could double up doses at the same time. And that I was doing the right thing, with shit meds, fibre meds and hugely increased water intake. Okay, good to know.

17.01.2025

I have tripled my fibre treatment, by reading the instructions, who'd have thought.

So it is, continue with what I am doing and don't be afraid to dose up.

And it is working, kind off. At least it now feels like something is happening down there, and not like before when there was just nothing, nothing at all, you know, zip, niente. (blow your cheeks out as far as you can keeping you mouth closed and that's how it felt before, trying to take a dump) It's a little bit, but at least it is something. There is movement. Something is happening. Worms.

The diarrhoea hasn't eventuated. And I can fart with confidence. And it is kind of back to normal, kind of, sort of, an improvement on what I did have.

18.01.2025

Anyway, as much as you all wanted to know all of that, I must go and drink some more water.


Yeah, sure, there is the weight loss aspect to this, it does take your appetite away quite considerably. And I have lost some weight, 7, or 8 kilos, and that's good, but it is a hard way to lose kilos, with the side effects. I reckon, and I wouldn't take it if I didn't have a medical reason. In fact, if the above doesn't get better, or sort itself out, I'm considering stopping it. I wouldn't, probably, choose to do it, as such.


Friday, January 17, 2025

Perfect Timing

My dog was sniffing me outside Coles. He was sniffing with quite an intensity. 

Snif, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff.

Oh, I don't know what possessed me, but I leant down and said to him, "Do you want me to sniff your arse?" I said. "You'd like that wouldn't you." You know, it's a doggie thing.

I thought it was funny, it amused me. Passing time, while we were waiting for Sam to finish shopping, what can I say.

But when I looked up, an old woman who had just come out of Coles just with perfect timing to hear me. She was giving me the most horrified look. Her head rotated as if on a swivel as she walked past me, not taking her eyes off me.

Oh, but, but, but... I thought. It was a joke.

She looked behind at me keeping her eyes intently on me still with her mouth open in astonishment. She looked like she thought I was a complete pervert.

Then the whole thing just made me laugh. Ah fuck it! Who cares?


Thursday, January 16, 2025

In The Gym

Mid afternoon, I'm in the gym, finally, after being given a pep talk from girl trainer 1 & 2, effectively. A sexy boy in black with a big gay beefy arse comes in and works out, as I am on the exercise bike at the beginning of my workout. Often the muscle bound guys don’t really do anything for me, sometimes, but not usually. This guy was gorgeous, in his baggy black knee-length shorts and tight black singlet. And even a bit of a mullet, kind off, but not really. Short at the front, certainly. Nice strong face.

Later, after I was done on the exercise bike, I'm doing the seated row right behind the cute boy in black, who is bending over doing a pull down exercise over his shoulder with his big beefy butt pointed directly at me, so much so that I could practically smell what he had for breakfast. The elastic of his undies contoured over the heart shape mounds of the top of his butt cheeks was sexy as. Muscly legs. Well developed calves. Finely covered all over with hair. Grunting with each pull down, which I could imagine how he sounded when he… you know. Nice.

What was I thinking not coming to the gym, I think. I giggle to myself as I head over to the free weights. 10 kilos hand weights. Where is the bench?


Wednesday, January 15, 2025

Back At The Gym

Well, you know, not that I exactly thought I was getting away with anything, far from it, but I hadn't been to gym for a few weeks. Over the Xmas period, you know what I mean. Taking time off - even if I actually only had two leave days, in fact - Xmas and all that. It just seemed like what was the 'go' if you know what I mean?

Anyway, that's what I'd done, taken a, erm, ah, cough, cough, a few weeks off from the grim, er gym.

Not that it had gone unnoticed by Sam, oh no, I wasn't getting past that one, he'd mentioned it numerous times, except, he was talking about it from a financial, it being deducted from my bank account on a fortnightly basis and if I wasn't going to go I should at least stop the payments.

Well, girl trainer number 2 called me to check up and see how I was going, and, you know, I can't tell lies, having realised at a young age that I was so good at lying and that it never did me any good, not in the long run, you know, if you don't want to be a fake, but I digress, so I told girl trainer number 2 that I hadn't been doing training.

"Oh, it's just a holiday thing," I heard myself say. "I haven't stopped going, of no, not me."

She sympathised, gave me words of encouragement, knew from where I was coming.

Anyway, the following day, I get a text from girl trainer number 1. 

"I hear you haven't been doing training, do you need an encouragement call from me to get you back on track?"

She also said that she didn't realise my training app had stopped working, and she'd rebooted it so my training schedule was back on track. 

I thought as we'd finished, that it had been switched off, which I have to admit I found a little disappointing, and a bit disconcerting when I went to train and I had nothing to train too, anyway apparently that wasn't the case, I guess I should have said something earlier.

Well, anyway, I was still contemplating this message in the afternoon, when my phone rang and it was girl trainer number 1.

"What do we have to do to get you back on track?" she asks.

She's really lovely, but determined. She wasn't taking any of my excuses.

After a bit of backward and forward, she said, "Are you working?"

"Yes," I said.

"So you could go after work?"

"Um, er, I guess." 

"So, you could go and do a session this afternoon? After work."

"Um, er..."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

"Good, that's good," she said. "I'll be stalking you training app to see."

So, I did go back to gym in the afternoon. Back at the gym, that's what I did. That's where I am. Yay. Smile.