Tuesday

I dreamed there were people running around a kind of a circular boxing rink, which was silver white, to earn credits for something unspecified.

Then the people would leave taking their earnings with them waving their hands in the air, out through a long tunnel like doorway.

I think they weren’t quite earning enough somehow. So, there were, I guess, contestants who were willing to go the ‘extra mile’ so they could earn the full number of rewards.

Those people would run, and run and run for longer, or would run in a certain way to get all the rewards they could.

There was a curly haired girl who was willing to do extra, she wanted to get more. She dressed up in boxing gear to run. She was bare chested, but she had a man’s chest.

2.40am. I woke suddenly from my dream. In the dark.

I had a wee and went back to bed.

4.45am I woke up from another dream, but that dream was gone before I could capture it. 

I tossed and turn thinking about my stupidity, most recently with the roof guys. I’m not falling back to sleep. I try not to think about the stupid decisions I have made recently, and clearly how stupid I am. A fool and his money is soon parted, is that what they say? I just seem to suffer from brain fade when I have to deal with something about which I am not very knowledgeable. It is really annoying. I just lose all judgement. Fancy me paying that (sexy) plumber Josh (with the beefy arse) more money when he & Beau were here to fix previous work. I don’t know, I just sort of panic and say yes. (no, I wasn’t distracted) It is really a problem. (And now the problems aren’t fixed, not really) Then I get anxiety about it after and worry about it, post terrible decision. So, in a sense, I suffer multiple times over it. And then I just feel like an idiot. I have an IQ higher than 95% of the population, but it just never seems to do me any good.

5am. I got up. Shake of the head.

I lie on the couch with the big pink blanket with the satin trim. Milo (my cat) tries to snuggle up but I move around too much for him and he disappears.

My lips are dry. My eyes feel clagged up.

I lay on the couch and read about, of all things, Paul McCartney’s English sheep dog named Martha, about which the song was written.

7.05am, Sam is up growling at me for getting up so early. “Why?”

“I don’t know.”

I make porridge and coffee.

I make more coffee, that is hardly a surprise, hey?

I work all morning. I get everything done. I had a bunch of stuff that was quite complicated that I had to get done, so I got really focussed for quite a while.

And it’s just Tuesday, you know, nothing special. Just a Tuesday.

Sam is in the kitchen cooking, and I’m thinking perhaps I could shut down and take Bruno for a walk, when I realise I was think it was the end of the day and that Sam was just getting preparations for dinner done a bit early, (I got lost in my work, what can I say?) when I realise it is only just midday. And I wonder momentarily if I am losing my fucking mind, but probably not, I guess, it’s because I got up so early. My head spun. Sleep deprivation, ha ha. It’s a terrible thing, isn’t that what they say? Even if I’m not sure that a loss of a couple of hours sleep counts as deprivation?

Then I feel a bit sick, nauseous, suddenly, blah. I whinny like a horse, it doesn’t help. That gives me the chills all through my body. Brrrrr! My stomach doesn’t feel great, and I feel tired like I might retire to the couch for the rest of the day. Blur.

12.30pm. I ate fried rice for lunch. I hoped that would help and while it seemed to be helping initially, the lethargy and the nauseousness returns.

I might go check my work computer, to see if any of the bastards are bothering me with work with an email of demand, but they aren’t, so then get on the couch with the pink blanket with the satin trim.

So, Bruno and I cuddled up on the couch for a couple of hours and had a snooze, it was lovely. Bruno’s fuzzy, furry face next to mine, his breathing in time with my breathing, snoring in my ear for all he is worth. The sun shone in the window. Bruno’s breath in my ear. And I felt a bit more refreshed when I woke up again. And they question why I don’t want to exchange working from home for going back to the office. Seriously, why would I? Jesus, it is a no brainer, as they say.

Now I’m going to sign out and take Bruno for a walk. Clear my head, as they say. Get some fresh air, that can’t hurt.

We eat chocolate chip hot x buns and drink tea when we get back.