Sunday

I dreamed I was sitting with (my dead friend) Anthony, we were going to go somewhere.

“Do you mind if I have first shower after I smoke this cigarette and drink this beer,” says Anthony. (who drank and smoked himself to death in real life)

“No, we have to get going,” I say. I was cross with him, as there was an unspecified urgency to us leaving.

So, I go and have the first shower ahead of him. But, I need to have a shit first. So, I sit on the toilet in the bathroom. But, it has a 45 degree lean. And when I look inside it, it is clogged up with business shirts, all striped like the ones (our house guest) Toby wears.

I leave the bathroom and run down the hallway to one of the other bedrooms to use the toilet there. It has a funnel coming up which shoots shit out the cistern at the user. I get covered in shit.

I woke at 2.30am and had a wee. I think Toby was watching TV in his room and Charlie was playing games in his room.

I went back to bed.

I was dreaming about Sam making dismissive fun of my journal writing when I woke again.

6.50am. I am up.

7am. I make coffee.

Milo lies next to me on the couch, as I started reading the news.

A heritage villa sat proudly on the banks of the Parramatta River for 135 years but now hopes of it being rebuilt in a new location are in tatters. The 1800s villa, Willow Grove, was set to be reassembled brick by brick at an alternative location after being torn down two years ago to make way for the Powerhouse Museum opening in 2025. A new location for the rebuild was never settled on. Now, 2 years later, the govt has scrapped plans to rebuild the villa. How typical is that of govt.

Some 60 year old died of a snake bite in Queensland.

I’m looking back through journals, face book messenger and the like for info to add to my April 2020 journals/blogs. My journals from that period are pretty sparse. (I think I was really concentrating on my CJ novel draft)

7.15am. Bruno appears in the lounge room. Milo jumps off the couch and slips under the coffee table, while Bruno jumps up onto the couch next to me. He gives me a look. I kiss his head.

7.25am. Sam is up.

7.30am. I make vegemite toast and coffee.

8am. I make more coffee, much to Sam’s protests, not that he is having any.

I’m sorting my 2020 journal. I’m looking at messages from Shane, Rachel and Mark to create some new 2020 posts.

8.45am. Sam starts to clean. He looks at me. I know what that look means. It is a pre-emptive look of disappointment, if I don’t start cleaning in the manner that he feels that I should.

I have a shit. Then I start to clean too. My job is vacuuming. I break out the Dyson. (Sadly, that is just wishful thinking as the last time we upgraded the vacuum we bought the inferior LG)

9.30am. I’m finished cleaning.

I pot up the succulent Sam got in Cambridge Street on our walk back from Victoria Street yesterday.

9.40am. I am finished.

I add conversations from Rachel and Shane to my April & June 2020 blogs.

I continue adding blog posts to April 2020, it’s increased from 7 posts to 27 posts.

11.11am. I have a shower.

11.54am. We walk into the city with Bruno for lunch.

12.24pm. We’re at David’s King of Spice Sichuan Master Pot (219) Russell Street)

Bruno lies out prostrate on the fake grass and mouths at the leaves lying there.

Sam orders sea food soup for me and signature beef soup for him. He brings out water that has been spoiled by the addition of lemon. Why ruin water with lemon, I ask you? We get drinks, mine is plum.

We sit on stools at a high table. The soup is really spicy, but good. It makes me cough the first few mouthfuls.

There is a constant parade of people walking by, the footpath is full of people, nearly all of them gaze at Bruno with a smile.

It was all very busy, there was lots going on.

I am fascinated by the cars continual changing in the centre of the road car spaces, they seem to change constantly. When, if you are looking for a car park, they never seem to change at all. It was like musical chairs with cars. One in, one out, one in, one out.

1.02pm. We were done. I consider having a look around the shops, but what for? What do I want? I can’t think of a single thing?

We head home.

Russell Street > Little Bourke Street > Parliamentary Reserve, where Bruno seems to sniff all the flowers. He cuts an older chick off as he rushes to a nearby garden bed.

“I’m sorry, his manners aren’t the best,” I say.

“Let him sniff,” she says. “He needs to be able to check all the messages, and then he needs to leave a message of his own.”

“He would agree,” I say.

We both laugh.

 Albert Street which is blocked off for the benefit of piece of shit property developers > Gisborne Street > Victoria Parade > Young Street > Gertrude Street > home.

1.38pm. We’re home again.

I lie on the couch eating an orange, wrestling for space with Bruno on the couch. I add 3 more blog posts to April 2020. I save the rest of Rachel’s messages for 2023.

David 3.08pm

NO - ONE - CARES

Christian

Shhh

I gave him a t-shirt with Shhhh, Nobody Cares written on it

Christian:

If your ‘up’ state is called Bipolar Barbie? What is your down mood called?

The YouTube clip of the at girl trying to jump off the rock ledge but falling

Never gets old

Darling

David:

Bipolar Benzie

Now …. SHHHHHHHHHH

I hate my life and I hate myself … This life is just one big MISERY 

Christian:

Oh darling, sit down and write something, you will feel much, much better 👎

David:

I don’t even have the energy for that 

I just want to have more up days than down … once a month of up is not enough 

Christian:

That’s all we can ask for… ❤️

Darling

David:

And you know the worst part about it ?

Christian:

Most people would envy your life?

David:

True … I’ll shut up now x

Then I felt mean, but I was fully concentrating on my journals/blog and I didn’t have the energy. Oh, I do give him a lot of my time, daily, whenever he’s feeling down, and I like doing it, because I like him, but I was just in a different headspace today.

Christian:

Darling

He didn't answer

Then I caught up my current blog posts, I had three to do to get my blog up to date.