Thursday, January 28, 2010

I Would Have...

When you stopped that taxi for me on the street, it was very nice, did I thank you? You held the door open, you smiled, waved your hand through the air pointing inside the car. You were adorable, I so loved you at that moment.

But you did not want to see me again? You didn't say it, but you just walked away, with a slap of the car roof, you didn't look back. I knew then that I would never see you again. No kiss, no hug, no lingering look. Gone. Just like that. After all that time? That was it, that day. Who'd have known? You and me. I caught your eyes at the last minute, before you turned and headed up that street opposite. I should have known, I could see your departure, there in your blue, blue eyes. A last look, as though you were checking, the final scene. Curtain down, as you turned.

The last thing you said was my name, Marcus, as an indication that the taxi was there ready for me, by the side of the road. To gather my things, to get in, so I could leave. So you could leave, more importantly. I just didn’t hear it that way. I should have heard it as good bye, Marcus. I didn’t not then, not there. But, I have in the many times I have replayed it in my head, since. Marcus. An end. A coda. A completion. Good bye.

I just didn’t know it at the time. If I had, I would have paid more attention, noticed how the sun and the clouds were positioned. I would have taken more notice, of the day, of the time, of the people all around. I would have... felt the breeze, sniffed the air, taken a longer, last look of you. How your hair fell about your face. How your clothes hung from your body. How quickly you stepped as you walked away. How quickly you turned and left.

 

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