Put Her In The Freezer, said Rachel

It was a glorious morning, it is a glorious day, just the kind of day making me want to get out into it.

I came home from my bike ride and poured myself a glass of water. The worst thing I do now a days is put ice in my water. (shock, horror) I know I shouldn’t, but I think it makes the water more interesting. As I was putting the ice cube tray back in the freezer, I noticed there was, what looked like, a piece of card on the ice cube tray shelf. What is that? I got up on tip toes and took a closer look. There was something written on that piece of card. Oh? OH! (click, click, click, click) Ohhhh. OH. (my mouth was shaped like an O by this stage)

There was a job I wanted, and this girl, we shall call her Vanessa for the purpose of this story, who wasn’t very good at it, from all accounts, had it, and I wanted it. My friend, we shall call her Rachel for the purpose of this story, had told me to write Vanessa on a piece of card and put it in the freezer, which I did, as sceptical as I was. What the hell, I remember thinking at the time. And I promptly forgot about it.

Recently, I heard that Vanessa, who still has my job, is battling an advanced case of Jacob-Obesophobia-Bronchial Sarcoma-Thymoma-Extragonadal-Andrenocortical-lympatic-Intraocular-Nasopharyngeal-Glioma Burkitt-Islet-Transitional-Cutaneous-Heptocellular. (Always referred to by its acronym) Goodness me! I’d forgotten about the name in the freezer and had not associated the two until I was standing on my tip toes putting the ice trays back today. (think for a minute) Perhaps, I should have written her name in block letters? Maybe, I should get another card and write her surname on it and slide it under the other ice block tray to finish her off? Finger tips pressed together in star hands. Eyes become slits. Cock of the head. Hm?

Actually, I'm quite happy in retirement, (ha ha, that sounds funny) on my long service leave, much to Sam's chagrin, I don't want her job. Perhaps, I should take her name out of the freezer? 

Jack will call me soon enough. Sad face. I'm surprised he hasn't called me already?