The morning started off well, but in the usual post New Year fashion it deteriorated by the minute, fairly rapidly as the day progressed.
Translation – I felt okay when I first opened my eyes, but it was downhill from there.
I was up and ready to join my oldest girl friends at a swish lunch for a New Year get together, of sorts. (Literally, my girl friends from when we were all teenagers together, Leah being my, actual, girlfriend at the time) Shel was over from Perth, I hadn’t seen her in years. She moved to London in her twenties, and moved back to Perth after twelve years, never making it back to Melbourne.
Tom called me back and said that they were all sitting around at Perry and Wes’ gently, smoking j’s, why didn’t I come down and join them.
The alternative was sitting in a restaurant looking at a fifty dollar plus meal that I wouldn’t touch, as sober people asked me a million questions. Not to mention vague, shaky and uncommunicative – it would all have been a chore, for all concerned.
So, I sent a cancelling sms to test the water.
I was feeling guilty about my decision, but if you have not experienced that post-new year come down off drugs haze, you will never understand how that state doesn’t mix with people who are not in the same state as you. Very quickly the whole world can become tedious and wearing and juxtaposed.
They were fine. To be expected, quite frankly. They were worldly, they’d been around enough gay boys. Yadder, yadder, yadder.
(Actually, in the years to come it would be proven they were no alright with me cancelling out on this long planned new year’s get together, and, in fact, I would go as far to say this was, in fact, one item on a list of items that broke mine and Leah’s friendship… but, that is some years off from this point)
I got to Perry and Wesley’s at about 1pm. All the enthusiasts, having eaten and slept, were, naturally, starting to talk about their next "does" of fun and “procurement” was the name of the game. The first person who comes up with a speed deal… wins… THE CAR AND THE HOLIDAY.
I so wasn’t going to partake, that wasn’t in my scheme of things. I thought that I’d have a couple of j’s and venture off to lunch. That was my thinking on the whole thing.
SMS. 13.15. How can you break my heart? – Shel
SMS. 13.18. Easy, you’re a girl – Christian
SMS. 13.19. Kidding, happy New Year my darling – Christian
SMS. 13.19. Easy is correct! However my heart is still broken! – Shel
SMS. 13.28. I’m here waiting for u…Are u in Melb? At lunch? – Christian
SMS. 13.23. I really want to see you – Shel
SMS. 13.29. I am at lunch now – Shel
SMS. 13.39. Please come! – Shel
SMS. 13.53. Please come! – Shel
I turned my phone off.
Then nobody was forth coming, none had the goods. Everyone was coming up empty handed. They even made me “call the dealer I knew”, even though I didn’t want to. I never have before, for such things and never on a holiday, but everyone else had. So I had to be a sport, against my better judgement.
Guido’s phone was not taking calls. Of course, Guido and whoever have bigger party habits than any of us, on such occasions.
It crossed my mind to leave and go to lunch, as this quest was rapidly becoming a no-go and I could see it all ending in disappointment and tedium. Tears before bed time. I should go and do what it was that I was supposed to be doing.
Then Guido came good.
Perry, Josh and Craig Beaman left for somewhere, leaving me, Wesley, Tom, D an I at home. It was going to take them an hour. I’m glad it wasn’t me who was going, as we lazily waved them goodbye sitting on the back deck in the sun – dappled for me, as the sun was burning hot, as the other’s would soon find out, before we all moved inside.
Now this brings me to a curious point. I had decided that I wouldn’t play with Wesley anymore? He’s gorgeous but in a relationship, which makes it a dicey proposition anyway. And it is tacky if one person is playing a game. Time to stop playing such games.
I’d also decided not to flirt with Craig B as well, mostly because of Tom, who said he was having a mini love affair of his own with Craig B. It smacked too much of Shane and Jason. But it had been hard, as Craig B had changed just into boxer shorts, not long after I got there. The sun was hot.
But also, I must say this, that the total of all of this behaviour is really only just good old fashioned flirting, not to make too much of a drama out of it. I process stuff too much. I think I like the mind experience as much as I like the physical. So such days take me on my very own journeys with in my head.
However, when we moved inside, I stood up at the fireplace with Tom, who was coughing fiendishly, D lay down on the sheepskin, in front of the fire place. Wesley was wondering about, busy. D and Tom couldn’t see Wesley very well. We all chatted, of course, as Wesley walked.
Then I noticed that Wesley, who was looking gorgeous dressed only in cream shorts, no shirt, seemed to have an erection, or maybe a cock-ring that made him look as though he had an erection. It looked good either way and I couldn’t help looking, breaking my newly decided upon vow. Wesley didn’t seem to be at all unhappy. In fact, I would venture to say that he seemed far more relaxed with Perry’s absence. He wandered around with a… I could say excited, I could say turned-on, I could say vacant, look on his face. Intense and flushed. He was giving me sideways looks, as he checked on me checking him out. He wasn’t embarrassed, in fact, if anything, he looked quite pleased as, more often than not, and it could be a complete coincidence, he positioned himself so that I could see him and Tom and D couldn’t. His cock had that semi-circular bend out to it, which pushed out against his shorts and the fly cover seemed to be positioned open and away from the zip itself, like it had been rubbed at. And if I wanted any proof that this wasn’t all going on in my head, he’d kind of rub his wrist nearly, not quite against, particularly after he’d seen me looking. He stood behind the couch somewhat out of Tom and D’s view, face-on to me, so I could gaze freely. He just smiled as he stood there, allowing me to gaze. He looked so hot that I wanted to eat him. I just stared at it and then looked up at his smiling face. He even looked down at it a couple of time, as if to emphasise the point. He liked it as much as I did, I reckon.
This blissful moment was obliterated when Tom, who had headed up the hallway to the bathroom, had a coughing-fit of such intensity that he collapsed on the floor out cold.
SMS. 16.16. Still at Pelican Bar! Where are you? – Shel
SMS. 16.56. Metropole Bar – Shel
17.00, the scouts returned victorious.
Wesley seemed to cover up as soon as Perry got back.
The bags were quickly opened and dispensed. Woo-hoo! And so we settled into chatting and partaking for the rest of the evening. Our tribe, relaxing as they know best. Laughing and chatting, happy and contented in our own world. I love those days.
We all sat around the table chatting. Perry made suggestions when the conversation died down too low.
“Just to raise the bar of the conversation,” he’d say with his customary grin.
Just slightly off the point, I must say that if I won millions in tattslotto I would so know how to spend it.
The afternoon slipped away. We didn’t notice the time until a friend’s daughter R called from just outside Sydney. It was 7pm. She had been with us in the morning and Perry had given her and her girlfriend a little something each in preparation of their drive to the Queensland coast. They’d left just after 1pm.
Craig Beaman, but as he sat next to me at the table reclining back on one chair with his legs over Josh’s knees, I couldn’t help but gaze at him. I wished that he’d go and put his blue jeans back on from the day before, but alas he had tracksuit pants on and that glorious bulge was not nearly apparent. He saw me looking at his crotch and smiled. I was hesitant at first, but the intensity of his eye contact was hot and made it obvious that he enjoyed it. So as I gazed at his bulge, I imagined him in his jeans, him with an erection, him naked, how beautiful his cock might be. He held my gaze and smiled. I let him watch as I dropped my eyes to his cock and back again. I stare longingly at his cock and he was clearly turned on. And then when I gazed over at him, he dropped his eyes to my cock and then looked back at me. It was hot, you know, in a sitting around in the afternoon kind of clandestine way.
And I don’t think anyone noticed, as I kept my rule to always look at the person who was talking. Maybe only Wesley noticed, as I caught his gaze post-Craig-viewing, at one stage. It made me realise that I had dumped Wesley for Craig, hardly giving Wesley any attention during the evening, while Craig was there. It made me feel bad. I hope he wasn’t disappointed. Silly the things you think.
I want to go back and do it all again!
SMS. 21.01. R U alive? – Shel
I turned my phone back on some time after midnight when I left.
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