Jill's Cardigan

Jill arrived with sausage rolls for lunch.

She had been to her dermatologist who has stopped her hair falling out and, in fact, had got it to grow back. So, yay to him. I can't remember why her hair was falling out in the first place. Diabetes 2? Maybe?

She had on really big outsized clothes. Now, Jill is a big girl, but I wouldn't have thought wearing huge clothes would disguise that fact. She had on a cardigan in her favourite blue, which is that dirty aqua blue colour, which I thought looked absolutely awful on her, huge with no shape at all, it was doing her no favours, at all. She had on pants, I wondered if they were work pants, which also looked like she was a kid dressing up in her dad’s cloths. Yeah, sure, perhaps she’d put on more weight, but surely, really huge, stupid clothes isn’t the answer.

She took 3 sausage rolls out of a carry bag and then put the fourth sausage roll on the floor next to the couch where she’d put her bag and the awful cardigan, to take home for her dinner. I'm pretty sure, Bruno was still in excited someone-has-come-to-visit-mode and he was straight into the place where Jill put the sausage roll, with her cardigan and bag next to the couch on the floor. We wrestled him away from the area. We commented on it being unusual for him to act that way.

I was getting the sausage rolls ready to go in the oven, when I could see out of the corner of my eye that Bruno was chewing something that was of a blue colour that wasn’t anything of his and I said, 

“What is Bruno doing? What is Bruno chewing?”

Yes, of course, it was the terrible cardigan he was chewing it and he'd already ripped holes in it. Damn!

Now, don't get me wrong, it was terrible at the time. I offered to pay for her to buy a new one, but apparently it was some name brand which she'd just happened across in a discount shop, which, of course, there had only been one. 

We settled on her getting it invisibly mended, as she left a few hours later, for which, of course, I would pay.

I'm making breakfast this morning thinking about it. I chuckled to myself, "Jill, you have to remember he is a gay house's dog, he has certain style standards he is used to, it was really just a matter of taste. Seriously, like Oscar Wilde's alleged last words, either that wallpaper goes, or I do, I'm sure was what Bruno was thinking when he picked up the cardigan."

Is it terrible that I chuckled to myself, as I poured my coffee? Crimes against fashion and all that.

Seriously, she shouldn't even garden in that cardigan. (and I didn't have to guess why the cardigan was found in a discount shop, name brand, or not)