Wednesday, February 06, 2013

Deluded Blowing Smoke Up The Arse of the Deluded *

Sam bought Buddy up to me and then he left for work. It must have been around 8am. Buddy climbed up on the bed in one leap and got comfortable pretty quickly. We lay there quietly for a while. I got up at 8.30am. I was awake, what could I do?

I continued with my facial recognition with my photo collection. I was determined to get it all finished. I especially wanted to get all of the mismatched photos sorted out.

It was a weak sunny morning, and there was a chill in the air, a summer time chill, fresh, the promise of a sunnier day, so I opened the French doors out into the garden and enjoyed the fresh breeze before the day warmed up.

It was forecast to be 37 degrees today.


I was sitting on the floor at the coffee table when I heard a woman’s voice in the house talking to Buddy telling him how lovely he was. I thought, which one of Shane and Tulli’s airhead friends is this. Oh, please don’t let it be a Jade type, please god don’t let it be Jade herself… even if Jade is really Jane’s friend and not Shane and Tulli’s. You never know what the outcome may have been from Saturday’s picnic in the park. It wasn’t until I heard Shane say Guadalupe’s name that I realised who it was.

“Well, you can go outside now,” said Shane. He had that “take control” “I’ll fix it” self-aggrandisement going on. It made no sense for him to do this, as I was sitting just a short distance away. I don’t know what he did, but the next thing Buddy was growling at Shane.

“Hey!” said Shane.

Buddy growled again.

“What are you doing to him?” I asked. Secretly thinking, Go Buddy, that’s my boy. (Bad me)

“Nothing. Putting him outside.”

I called Buddy and he crawled under the coffee table to me. I patted him like he was my little angel, which he is. (Bad me)


I completed my facial recognition, pretty much, for my entire photo collection, which is now extensive. At least, I did all the photos that haven’t been done yet.

And the next thing I knew, the doorbell was ringing and Sam was home.


Mike and David arrived, they were going to something with Shane and Tulli, but, as has been the case for a number of years, Shane wasn’t about to tell me anything about it. Something in St Kilda, probably some New Age nonsense. Mostly, I was hearing David ask if everyone had eaten. He is so food orientated. (And she wonders why her arse is expanding)

Still David is good, as he asks Shane the questions I don’t.

“So, did you sort out the house problem with Mark W.?”

“Yes, finally, I signed the agreement today.”

“Oh, thank the universe for that,” said David. “How long has Mark W. been so difficult about that?”

I wondered if Mark W. had, actually, been difficult at all. He and Shane bought that house as tenants in common, as Mark W. sold his apartment in St Kilda and put the money into the new house, where Shane put in no money. So, Mark W. owned three quarters of the house and Shane owned a quarter – I’m not sure what the percentage was, but you get the idea. Shane had been trying to get half the house out of him ever since. So was Mark W. being difficult, or was he just resisting Shane’s demands? Therefore, it could, quite possibly, be interpreted that Shane was being the difficult one.

Shane also seemed to have an unrealistic idea of what the house was worth. It is a big warehouse that has been divided into four houses. A few months ago, one of the other townhouses was sold for $675. When I told Shane this, he said that he thought his was worth $800.

“Oh yes, mine is bigger.”

“Oh bigger?” I asked. “Does it have another bedroom?”

“No.”

“Does it have another bathroom?”

“No.”

“So how is it bigger?”

Shane said it had a bigger deck area and a bigger parking space.

Oh, I thought.


“Yes, Mark has agreed to buy me out,” said Shane.

“Oh fantastic,” said David.

“We had two valuations…”

“What were they?” asked David.

“One was $675 and one was $685.”

“So, how much do you get?”

“Oh, about $100.”

I figured that meant about $80, Shane likes to, shall we say, plump things up in his favour.

“Great,” said David.”

Well, there are a few questions I wanted to know the answers to, I thought.

I sat back and feeling kind of closed to Shane. I have for quite some time, I’ve tried not to, but I don’t seem to be able to change it. I feel that he started it, playing favourites, of which I was not one, deciding our long standing group of friends were really just his friends, organising many functions all the while withholding information from me about those functions. So, I kind of felt ‘differently’ towards him. Childish, or human nature? Whatever? Maybe both? It just really means that we probably should no longer be living together, which we won’t be in a few days.


“So, how’s it all going?” asked David. “How’s the packing going, only two days to go.”

“Well,” said Shane. “I was in emergency until 4am with Tulli because he had blocked ears.”

“My ears were blocked,” said Tulli. Then we put some oil in them and then they were completely blocked, I couldn’t hear a thing?”

“And you are about to get on a plane,” said David.

“Then we used cotton wool buds,” said Shane. “And all this wax just started coming out.”

Oo, I thought. How does one get one’s ears into that state? But the wax coming out of the ears sounded like the job done to me. Why did you go to emergency?

“OMG! It was just terrible,” said Tulli. “I couldn’t believe what was happening.”

Tulli sounded like a child when he told the story. Sometimes, he is a very young thirty year old.

“Yes, a little child comes out of that big body, so often,” said Sam. “It just doesn’t seem to gel.”


Sam and I went to Woolies and got schnitzels for dinner. It was a hot evening, the sun was still blazing, so much so, that even Sam suggested that we walk on the shady side of the street. That is usually whinny pants me, suggesting such things. It is usually me who pretends he is a vampire in the hot sun. The sun shone down onto the ground in hard shadows across the footpath. The light and dark contrasted noticeably. 


Sam headed to bed at 10.30pm, with his usual, “See ya mate.” Buddy’s ears went up into the attention position, staying that way all the time it took Sam to go upstairs. Then Buddy kind of exhaled and headed off into the dark house after Sam.

Not long after, I realised that Shane and Tulli would probably be home soon and that I just felt exhausted at the idea, so, I packed up my stuff and headed off to bed myself.

Buddy was sitting by the bed.

I had a shower, as it had been a non-shower day and Sam insisted. “Disgusting!” I then turned out the light and got into bed. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” asked Sam.

“I don’t think so.”

“Put him out.”

“You were the one playing with him, I think it is up to you.” I don’t want to go down stairs and run into the other two. Don’t make me.

“Put him out.”

“It is your turn.” My timing is so lousy, that as soon as my foot hit the floorboards of the front hallway, I just know the front door lock would go click with the key and I’d end up standing there face to face...

“You always do this, try to annoy me. You should just follow my orders without question,” said Sam. He’s funny when he tries his tyrant act, it makes me laugh. And it generally works, I have to say, as I find it endearing.

I was happy for Buddy to sleep in our room, but it was hot in the bedroom and he would probably be much happier if he was outside in his house. Shane and Tulli would probably be home soon, so I had to put Buddy out now, if I was going to at all. 

I took him downstairs, of course, he was resisting. He hesitated at the top of the stairs, so I gave him a good shove, which I regretted as soon as I did it. A plummeting bulldog would not help right at this point, not to mention an emergency trip to the emergency vet to have his legs set. I raced him through the dark house and put him in his house outside. Then I hightailed it back upstairs.

Not long after I got back into bed again, I heard the front gate open and close and then the front door. I thought there you go...

 

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