Ugly, Ugly

A new girl started this week. I kid you not, she looks like something out of a lagoon. I was a bit taken a back when I turned around to greet her, as she was introduced to me.

"Christian, this is Fatima."

Ugly. Ooo! Just fowl! Imagine going through life looking like that? Revolting. No, really revolting. Big teeth, overshot jaw, beady eyes.

It was all I could do not to breath in sharply, in shock, as I looked at her.

"Nice to meet you," she said. Did she have a lisp, on nice, or was I imagining it?

Her face seemed to be covered in hair, like a mans. Her fringe came right down, nearly, over her eyes, certainly over her eye brows, which was probably a good thing. She is built like a truck driver, with bulbous thighs and pigeon toes. She has braces, I kid you not and glasses so thick, they look like Myers windows. They make her eyes look bigger than they really are, creepily so. Was she a little cross eyed?

"Welcome," I said. "Nice to meet you too." I sounded believable.

She smiled in return, which made her metal covered teeth prominent and her eyes squinted out of view, all together. She looks like the gateway to Luna Park, but not nearly as attractive.

But, her most prominent feature is her arse. Talk about butt-woman. I'd say 50% of her body is her bum - she is a body attached to an arse. Her bum is so fat that there is only a hint of a crack pointing downwards, on it's lowest edge. She kind of has to swing it as she walks. Coupled with the turned in foot, I tell you, it was all I could do not to laugh, as she waddled away.

Quazi who?

She had a ring on her left hand, which I thought was nice. Someone for everyone. The ring emphasised her stubby fingers. Absolutely amazing - there is some blind guy some where who likes fat chicks, I thought - but nice, none the less. I was kind of pleased for her, if I could have cared at all, of course. Well, I'd only just met her, give me a break, I don't have to care.

Fortunately, she's in IT, away from me, across the other side of the floor, so I won't be having any involuntary gagging, if I come across her unexpectedly.

What must it be like to have been ugly all of your life?

I've always been used to going out and picking up whoever I wanted. I doubt she would have had the same pleasure, without a lot of alcohol being involved.