Any Spare Change?

Late in the arvo, Bruno and I are waiting outside Woolies while Sam shops for food. We had done our walk for the day and the next stop was home.

The old guy, who had a bulldog when he was young, was sitting outside Woolies asking for change.

We've spoken about bulldogs before, but he doesn't seem to remember that.

He tells me he is 80 years old. He tells me he works every day, so he doesn't know what is wrong with the younger generation. (That just seems to be a generic, old person's moan) He means asking for change. “Well, it is hardly strenuous work sitting here. But I do it every day. And people are nice.” 

(So, he is saying young people without a job could sit outside shops and ask for change. Young people becoming panhandlers is the answer to youth unemployment, presumably?)

I tell him I had a second bulldog up until recently. "He died the day before The Queen."

"Oh, I thought she was going to live as long as her mother, who lived until she was 103."

I wonder if it was 101 that Queen Elizabeth, The Queen Mother lived to? But I didn't say anything.

He asks me what I think of King Charles?

"I like him," I say. "I have always liked him." And I have, that is true.

He pulls a face. Oh, not a dirty great grimace, but his face sets momentarily with no expression which leaves little doubt about how he feels.

He tells me that Charles used to dress up in a diaper with a pacifier in his mouth and he’d sit on his mistress’ lap and suck on her big tits like a baby. (I assumed he meant Camilla. Does Camilla have big tits? I don't recall?) He also repeats the, “I want to be your tampon,” conversation, which was between Charles and Camilla. A private conversation that was only made public because of phone hacking. Was it Rupert Murdoch's outfit? Maybe?

"Oh yes, Prince Charles was full-on kinky." I think, he rather thought that information might change my positive view of Charles, as he was definitely in Camp Diana.

Nyr, I think. There have been times I wished I was some cute guy's jocks, so what is the difference?

Sexual kink never changes my view of anyone, I think. You know, as long as they aren't trying to get their unwanted hands down my undies, what do I care? I don't think Charles wanting to be Camilla's tampon reflects on his a ability to be king. (If it shows anything, it shows he has an imagination, which is always a good thing)

The old boy did concede that Camilla was making a good job of being queen.

"All though, not as good a queen as Diana would have made."

Would Diana have made a good queen, I think. It is a bit of a stretch to think that should would have, you know, as she would only ever have come at it through marriage, and that was never successful.

I like him, the old guy. He is interesting to talk to.

We talked about Tina Turner dying. "Oh yes, very sad," he says. And we both agree she was the most electric stage performer there has ever been.

He tells me to go and look up Tina's shots done on the Eiffel Tower. "Those shots are so beautiful," he says.

The day started fading all around us.

Sam comes out with the shopping and wants to get home quickly so he can cook the roast lamb and veggies he has decided on for dinner, and he has no time for old men with an interesting back story asking for change, so I am rushed away.

"Nice talking to you," I say. And I scampered after Sam.

"Yes, nice talking to you," the old boy says. "Any spare change?"