Outlaws

The sun is shining, there is cool air blowing in the open back door, first thing. The bulldogs are both on the big couch, behind me. I am sitting on the floor.

Sam has some game he has to pick up in Dandenong for the longest time, which he suggests from time to time that we should go and collect, except Dandenong is 29 kilometres away, of which I remind him when he mentions it.

“It will have to wait until after lockdown.” 

Sad Face.

This morning, he said he wanted to go and pick up another game in Glen Iris, which is 11 kilometres away. Initially, I said no, but then I thought about it. Fuck it. Rules, rules, everywhere there are rules, blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind. Do this, don't do that, Can't you follow the rules?

We have followed every set rule religiously. (And seriously, I am willing to follow them for however long it takes, it is a pandemic, after all)

So, I said lets go.

9am. We sneak off to Glen Iris. We take Bruno just in case we are stopped we can say we are taking him to Glen Iris Park to exercise. Oh, you know, 

“We were bored with lockdown, wanting to change the scenery, I googled it before we left, officer, and it was within range.” Sincere face. (I picture one of those strapping coppers in those blue pants tightly fitting his muscular frame, but that is a story for another day)

It is just over 10 kilometres from home but we could fudge that, you know, by lying, (thank you federal Liberal Party for showing us the way) we thought it was 10 kilometres, we googled it and all. Going to someone’s house is not one of the 5 reasons to leave home, you understand, but, nyr.

Gertrude Street > Nicholson Street > Victoria Street > Barkers Road > Auburn Road > Burgess Street > Tooronga Road > Anderson Road > Bonfield Avenue > Clifton Road > Clifton Grove > Toorak Road > Burke Road > Monash Freeway > High Street, right passed Glen Iris Park > blah blah > blah blah > blah blah.

9.30am. We’re in Glen Iris. The sun is shining down like warm honey.

Sam heads to the front door, as I walk Bruno. He and I stand at the top of the drive way after he has had a wee. Sam is on the front veranda with the woman selling the game, business is conducted outside, masks are worn by everyone, Bruno included. Well, not Bruno, but I could help adding that image because it would be too cute for words.

Bruno begins to bark. She says he must be able to smell her 10 year old dog which is inside the house, but I have to wonder about that. I know dog’s noses are their super sense, but seriously?

I want to go, but Sam wants to look at the house for sale on corner. He asks me incessantly until I comment on him rabbiting on. It turns out to be the corner of [name] Street, where [name of choir mistress] used to live. It is spooky how your past can suddenly catch up with you in the most unexpected ways. It all looked so different to how I remember it…

There is a [big dog] on the other side of the road that seems keen to meet up with Bruno, as we head to the car. I wonder if the girl hanging on to it is going to manage to keep it at bay, because she looks like she is struggling, as she keeps pace with us up the street. Truthfully, it just looks like a big, goofy dog.

Game procured, we head for home. Sam announces when we are within the 10 kilometre range, which is pretty quick. I mean the distance is a grey area, and, as our illustrious Prime Minister has taught us himself, I claim we were never beyond the 10 kilometre rule. Easy. 

We see a car being pulled up on the Monash by Highway Patrol and, of course, that could be for any reason, but you have to wonder, just at the Toorak Road exit, which we take. The copper in question has a great arse, as we slip by in the outer lane

We wend our way through Toorak and all the ridiculously big mansion that no one in this world really needs, and slip up Burnley Street to cross over from the south side to the north side.

It is the day of the threatened anti everything protests in the city, so I think Burnley Street is a sensible alternative to what may be happening in the other parts of the inner city, only to find out from the 6pm news that because the police kept the protesters out of the city, Burnley Street became the epicentre of all the trouble for the day. Thank the universe that we slipped through a few hours earlier.