Perfect Timing

My dog was sniffing me outside Coles. He was sniffing with quite an intensity. 

Snif, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff.

Oh, I don't know what possessed me, but I leant down and said to him, "Do you want me to sniff your arse?" I said. "You'd like that wouldn't you." You know, it's a doggie thing.

I thought it was funny, it amused me. Passing time, while we were waiting for Sam to finish shopping, what can I say.

But when I looked up, an old woman who had just come out of Coles just with perfect timing to hear me. She was giving me the most horrified look. Her head rotated as if on a swivel as she walked past me, not taking her eyes off me.

Oh, but, but, but... I thought. It was a joke.

She looked behind at me keeping her eyes intently on me still with her mouth open in astonishment. She looked like she thought I was a complete pervert.

Then the whole thing just made me laugh. Ah fuck it! Who cares?

In The Gym

Mid afternoon, I'm in the gym, finally, after being given a pep talk from girl trainer 1 & 2, effectively. A sexy boy in black with a big gay beefy arse comes in and works out, as I am on the exercise bike at the beginning of my workout. Often the muscle bound guys don’t really do anything for me, sometimes, but not usually. This guy was gorgeous, in his baggy black knee-length shorts and tight black singlet. And even a bit of a mullet, kind off, but not really. Short at the front, certainly. Nice strong face.

Later, after I was done on the exercise bike, I'm doing the seated row right behind the cute boy in black, who is bending over doing a pull down exercise over his shoulder with his big beefy butt pointed directly at me, so much so that I could practically smell what he had for breakfast. The elastic of his undies contoured over the heart shape mounds of the top of his butt cheeks was sexy as. Muscly legs. Well developed calves. Finely covered all over with hair. Grunting with each pull down, which I could imagine how he sounded when he… you know. Nice.

What was I thinking not coming to the gym, I think. I giggle to myself as I head over to the free weights. 10 kilos hand weights. Where is the bench?

Back At The Gym

Well, you know, not that I exactly thought I was getting away with anything, far from it, but I hadn't been to gym for a few weeks. Over the Xmas period, you know what I mean. Taking time off - even if I actually only had two leave days, in fact - Xmas and all that. It just seemed like what was the 'go' if you know what I mean?

Anyway, that's what I'd done, taken a, erm, ah, cough, cough, a few weeks off from the grim, er gym.

Not that it had gone unnoticed by Sam, oh no, I wasn't getting past that one, he'd mentioned it numerous times, except, he was talking about it from a financial, it being deducted from my bank account on a fortnightly basis and if I wasn't going to go I should at least stop the payments.

Well, girl trainer number 2 called me to check up and see how I was going, and, you know, I can't tell lies, having realised at a young age that I was so good at lying and that it never did me any good, not in the long run, you know, if you don't want to be a fake, but I digress, so I told girl trainer number 2 that I hadn't been doing training.

"Oh, it's just a holiday thing," I heard myself say. "I haven't stopped going, of no, not me."

She sympathised, gave me words of encouragement, knew from where I was coming.

Anyway, the following day, I get a text from girl trainer number 1. 

"I hear you haven't been doing training, do you need an encouragement call from me to get you back on track?"

She also said that she didn't realise my training app had stopped working, and she'd rebooted it so my training schedule was back on track. 

I thought as we'd finished, that it had been switched off, which I have to admit I found a little disappointing, and a bit disconcerting when I went to train and I had nothing to train too, anyway apparently that wasn't the case, I guess I should have said something earlier.

Well, anyway, I was still contemplating this message in the afternoon, when my phone rang and it was girl trainer number 1.

"What do we have to do to get you back on track?" she asks.

She's really lovely, but determined. She wasn't taking any of my excuses.

After a bit of backward and forward, she said, "Are you working?"

"Yes," I said.

"So you could go after work?"

"Um, er, I guess." 

"So, you could go and do a session this afternoon? After work."

"Um, er..."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

"Good, that's good," she said. "I'll be stalking you training app to see."

So, I did go back to gym in the afternoon. Back at the gym, that's what I did. That's where I am. Yay. Smile.

Monday

Monday. It was Monday. Just a Monday. I still haven't been spoken to about going into the office, or not going into the office, as the case may be. I'm ignoring the directive. I wonder how long I can get away with it? I'll see how long I can go. 

I still don't know what I am going to do if they insist on me going back into the office? Because, I'm not going. Immovable object, meets the unstoppable force. What do you think is going to happen? Normally, it's total destruction, shrug.

I still love working from home and don't want to work any other way, so we'll see.

Then It Rained

After the heat of the last few days, today it poured with torrential rain, washing all the stickiness away.

I went out and stood in it in shorts and t-shirt and bare feet. It was glorious.

Of course, pulling off wet clothes is never fun, but it was worth it, I felt refreshed and revived.

After that, the day felt kind of tropical, as it does, when the rain comes and washes away the heat, but only really washes away some of it and the temperature, although much milder, is still warm enough for shorts and t-shirts. That's the best part of the rain falling.

We ate moo cheese and white nectarines and drank coffee and lazed about in the mildly warm afternoon, each showing the other funny things we found online.

The bulldogs snored. Life wouldn't be complete without the sound of a bulldog snore.

We ate good food, isn't that weekends are for. Stir fry beef and mushrooms, noodles, and yogurt with fresh cut up fruit, blueberries, strawberries, peaches and nectarines.

Hot Saturday

We went for a walk early. Hot day forecast. 33 degrees. I always find it nice to go for a walk on a day that threatens to cook you later. You can almost sense the forbidding in the breeze.

We ate hash browns and pressed sandwiches for lunch, with the house shut down against the heat by that stage. They were very nice.

I'm watching my favourite car YouTube channel, getting his 1968 Buick LeSabre back on the road.

Sam is asleep on the big couch.

The bulldogs have flaked.

All I can hear is the whirr of the dual fans blowing air in each of our direction.

Sam said to get the washing out of the machine once it was done, before he passed out, and as chance would have it, I remembered to do that, so cheers for me. It wasn’t your usual jocks and shirts, no, it was the shower curtain and a whole bunch of bulldog face wipe towels – if you had a bulldog, you’d understand. WTF? So, I pulled that all out of the machine, but the plastic shower curtain had somehow managed to retain a whole bunch of water, like a fat girl explaining her weight, which poured all over the floor in front of the washing machine, which I really was not expecting, and as our laundry is a double cupboard in the front hallway, that really wasn’t ideal. I did manage, however, to whoosh the shower curtain sideways, as it pissed on the floor like an elephant taking a leak, and water several of the plants in the hallway with the excess water, which mitigated the mess somewhat. There was still a large pool of water, however. The towels were heavy wet too from the retained water off the shower curtain, so it all weighed a ton and dripped like a prossy after a very busy Saturday night. So, I got the washing basket and a clothes horse and took all of that outside, somehow not waking Sam in the process, which was the miracle of the day. (You know how things like clothes horses mysteriously grow extra legs to catch on doorways when you are trying to be quiet) And, of course, Otto wanted to know what it all was, sticking his great fat, uninvited face into the middle of it all, wanting to sniff and lick everything just to investigate all of it further, as I tried to straighten it all out and get it hung out to dry. I looked at him and said, Daddy’s little fucken helper, which I never say to them, really having no idea where that came from. So, once I’d admonished myself sufficiently, I headed back inside and mopped the tiled floor of the huge puddle of water.

Ah, back to the couch and YouTube.

Later, I would sleep for 3 hours on the couch myself, only being woken by the bulldogs wrestling next to me, having slept all day, I guess they had energy to burn up. I was none too pleased about the intrusion. They were somewhat taken aback by my sharp rebuke.

Taking the Boys for a Walk

It's muggy hot. Time to take my two red cherubs for an early walk before it heats up too much.

Then, I don't know what I am going to do with the rest of my day off, I have no plans to speak of. And that is just the way I like it.

I have a new Renee Geyer live album which is a treat since I didn't expect to get any new albums from her now she has died. It's a live album, of course, and it's great, so I'll be listening to that.

But first, a lovely wander around the streets, to see what we can see, sniff, whatever. Then, I don't know what? Put my feet up and rest? You know I love that more than just about anything else. Perhaps, not more than world peace*, but, you know, nearly. 😀

* not more than watching Donald Trump fail. 

Oh, okay, we're Australian. Not more than Dutton's nuclear power plant lies failing, how about that? You know the Liberal Party will never build one nuclear power plant, they are conning you. It is just the latest chapter in their unending grip on fossil fuels.

That reminds me, I haven't seen Jill for a while, she being a conservative voter. She has said we can no longer discuss politics, you know, because that is what conservative voters do, especially now that conservatives no longer have any policies other than bashing trans people, wailing about abortion and weaponising immigration.