We got up at 8am, there was shopping to be done. There are sales on, Sam’s favourite expression. There was no coffee to be had, as the coffee pot has finally been deemed too unsafe to use and it has been retired, Sam’s orders. I was tonguing for some caffeine, I have to say. But, the pot doesn’t screw up correctly any longer, the thread has crapped itself, so it is a potential explosion waiting to happen. So, a new coffee pot was on the top of the shopping list.
It is the end of the financial year and we are heading overseas soon, Vietnam in 3 weeks, so there must be things to buy. Sales and claiming back the GST, two of Sam’s favourite expressions. “Buy, buy, buy.” Sam has, actually, been disappointed that he hasn’t been able to spend money, he’s been looking online but he hasn’t found anything he wants. I told him if that was, really, the case he should give a large amount to the Smith Family, for the people who have nothing.
He laughed, like I was very funny.
We headed into the CBD to go to QV to their sale. Sam wanted to buy iTunes cards that Harvey Norman was selling at half price. Half price, seemingly Sam’s favourite words.
We got to the doors of Harvey Norman before they had opened. 9.50am. The guys were bringing out the out door furniture displays, but no, the shop wasn’t open as yet. We were the first there, so Sam took up his spot at the head of the queue and I went to find coffee.
The regular coffee place wasn’t open – clearly, they are earning too much money – so I had to go to the fat Greek boy to get our coffee. Smile. I don’t, at all, mind fat Greek boys, so everyone was happy.
Fat hairy Greek boys. Mama’s boys. Cute. Doughy. I like them like that. Black hair, olive skin, thick thighs, muscular arses, bum cracks out the top of their jocks, 5 o’clock shadows at midday, thick, wavy, brown hair, naughty boys, mummy I’ve been bad. Slap their white arses, with their jocks around their thighs, make them tear up and pout. Their eyes turn red. Hot.
My brother is down from Queensland and he and my sister and I went to see our mum. It is the first time the 3 of us have been all year, I think, and the first time Roz and I have been in a month. Roz and Will picked me up at noon and we went to lunch first. We ate at the local café across the road to mum’s home, where we used to take her when she could still go out on outings. We can’t take her out any longer.
We sat with mum in the garden for a few hours. She was more spaced out than she was the last few times that I have seen her. She really seemed like they'd uped her meds, or maybe she had just taken them, I don't know, but she was more confused today than she has been.
Will and Roz talked about our cousin Big Christian Fletcher (yes, there are two of us) in the car. Will said to Roz, “As (our cousin’s sister) said, Christian never finishes anything.”
I felt a twinge. That's what they say about me, or have. I thought, it must go with the name. I almost said it, until I stopped myself. I remained quiet in the back of the car as we headed back to my place.
Sam and I took Buddy for a walk just as the day was changing into dark. We went to the supermarket. I waited out the back as Sam shopped. I smoked. The smoke feels grand curling from my lips.
We ate vegetable stir fry. Yum, yum. Sam’s specialty. Actually, it isn’t his specialty at all, but I am trying to get him to take it up as a core recipe.
We watched TV, it is the perfect Sunday night feet-up thing to do. The dark, long winter night, at the far end of the weekend, with the open fire burning. I think there is a moment, say about 10pm, where a small ceremony could be held, a touching of hands, where the morning of free time is allowed and the bracing for the coming working week shall begin.
I’m still somewhat disappointed. I am still feeling like I have damaged confidence to do anything, it became apparent to me this week just gone. I’m still feeling heavy from every thing that has gone down. I’m still a bit thrown by the stresses I have felt. It is still weighing heavy on me. Call it a realisation, call it an acknowledgment, call it reality, but my present financial situation isn’t sustainable and I am going to have to change something, I just don’t know what yet. It is making me quiet and serious though. It is making me feel gravity weigh heavily on my shoulders.
I’ve had a funny feeling in my lower jaw all day, like a nerve problem. I could feel it like, what is it they call it, neuralgia. It seems to be a hidden pain, an elusive pain that I couldn’t find the source of.
I flossed my teeth late in the night and a large piece of chalky calculus broke off and I chewed it and it dissolved between my teeth. I could feel the nerve pain just a little as I flossed. It was like scratching an itch. It was like massaging a strain.