Tuesday, October 30, 2012

My First Real Day Off

I’ve got a cough, one of those smoked-too-much hacking coughs that you have trouble controlling. Sam just looks at me with disappointment every time I hook, hook, hook.

My first day off after how long? I should look it up, but I’m fairly sure it was halfway through July. Yesterday doesn’t count as Leah was here and I was still entertaining from the weekend.

I switched the morning TV off fairly smartly. Goodness me. Although, that Karl Stefonovic gets me going, he's cute, I'd like to lick his face. I got pretty stoned pretty quickly. Ah, you know, what does a boy do to entertain himself? What to do in your down time? I started to watch porn on my laptop, Buddy was by my side. I decided that all boys whack off in front of their dogs, it is just that sort of relationship. The dog doesn’t care, he either watches benignly, or falls asleep.

Well, I was trying to... with my hand down my... um... track suit pants, but Buddy got very interested in what I was doing. It is very hard to... um,... er, shall we say, keep tugging away when you have a 25 kilo bulldog digging at your crotch panting. It made me wonder what Jason used to get up to? Of course, maybe that is just my fantasy, watching Jason wank and all. Ha ha. But, I have to tell you, the determination he... oh, he's a bulldog what am I talking about.

A string of steady “No’s!” "No!" "NO, don't be creepy!" "No!" "NO!" "NO!!!!!!" And a couple of light taps to his fat face and he lost interest and “harrumphed” and lay down face first on the carpet next to me. Then he rolled over and snored with his little pink tongue hanging out.

I messed around on my PC after that. I never really use it any more. I’ve got to run it occasionally, otherwise the updates back up... 

... and the day slipped away.

I was unshowered and stoned on the couch when Sam arrived. Sam bought me cough mixture. Isn’t he sweet. The one thing he is not so sweet about is me lounging around the house doing nothing, even if it is, effectively, my first day off. Oh no, no, no. He wanted to know how I’d got on with my list of things to do.

"Um? Er?"

He gave me “that look” when I told him, "not so well."

We went to Woolies, of course. The dreaded Woolies. "AH!" Dinner. Yay. I don’t know what I did, um ate, before Sam came along, but I know one thing I have never visited the supermarket quite so often.

Sam cooked noodles.


Monday, October 29, 2012

Back At It

Ah, lovely, mid morning, one pot of coffee down, life is good. The sun is shining, the birds are singing. (the ambulance siren wails some where far off in the distance) My dog at my feet. How life should be.

I haven't thought about work once. I haven't felt like I should be doing "something else" not at all. I slipped right back into it, up just after 8am (that will improve, once I am fully back into delusional retirement mode) Coffee on. Laptop on. Muesli. Orange juice, freshly squeezed. Freshly squeezed out of a bottle, not like my mother did every morning for us kids, hand squeezed from a bag of large string bag of oranges for 20 years.

Suddenly, Buddy is chewing on my foot, then ankle when I protest, leg. Ouch! Stop it! No! My protests fall on deaf ears, as he decides 'no, this is a fun game." A louder, leader of the pack rebuke is what is required. "NO, I am deadly serious." A bulldog face appears in my lap, looking up for approval.

Oh lovely, life is back to normal. My one thing to do today is make a list of all the things I have to do. I don't know how we all worked full time, you can never get anything done. I have a huge number of things I have to get done. So it is a list, and then nothing else to do all day.

Sam asked me if I was going to ring Jack today, to see if I can get a new work assignment before Xmas. I said,

"No, probably Tuesday. I'm having at least one day off."

I didn't, actually, specify what Tuesday. I thought realistically it would be closer to today fortnight, before I think about that. I still haven’t quite decided what I am going to do if he calls? I think I will ignore his calls for a week. Hopefully he won’t call. Hopefully there is no work.

My pact with Jack about work – my private pact, the pact that Jack doesn’t, actually, know anything about – is that I will accept all the work he gives me. Don’t turn anything down. The down time just naturally occurs in the timing of assignments, in the nature of my work. However, after my second last assignment, which was to be in the outer suburbs, which I only just got out of because my last assignment, which started just before it, got extended, I now have one condition, I’m saying no to any that are too far away. I’m not going to zone three, fuck it, I’d rather be on the dole, if it came to that. Not that I have ever been on the dole, but I’m sure you get what I mean.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

He Turned Green

It was evil stepdaughter, Miss Jane’s birthday party at the winery in the country. It was a significant birthday milestone, so everyone was going. We’d all been looking forward to it. Her cute ex-boyfriend organised it all for her. Everyone was going, we’d been talking about it for months. We were all to catch a bus at the corner of Smith Street and Victoria Parade, at 10.30 sharp so none of us had to drink.

We got up and we both felt poorly. We both had headaches.

Sebastian and Alex arrived. D and Ashley arrived. Tuli and Shane got ready late in the morning, but were, actually, ready on time.

D told me that Guido has a Bulldog. He has joint custody over it with his ex-partner. I wondered how I never knew that?

Baby Bulldog had a wonderful time, so many people to play with… and legs to hump.

Sam said that he really didn’t think he had such a bad headache that it was making him feel sick.

I said, “Oh come on, we’ll be fine.”

Leah was late, she got pulled over for a breath test and for speeding.

Sam said again he didn’t feel well and doubted that he was alright to go.

I said to him, this has been planned for months, we said we are going for the numbers, come on you’ll be fine once you get some fresh air into you walking around to the bus.

May and Adrian were in McDonalds when we went looking for an ATM. Sally arrived with her girlfriend.

We were at the bus stop in the glorious sunshine, all gabbling away like old time friends, right on the dot of 10.30 waiting for the magical coach to take us to lovelyland.

I looked over at my handsome boyfriend and he just looked a sickly shade of green. He really did. “Are you alright, babe?”

Through gritted teeth he said, ”The thought of getting on a bus right now makes me feel like I will vomit.”

“Oh.” I touched the side of his face and noticed that all the colour had drained from his lips. “We should go home then.”

“Sorry guys, we can’t go.”

Saturday, October 27, 2012

That's the way, baby

Big Brother

Big Brother. I don't know? Who do I want to win? Funny, probably Zoey. I hated her at the beginning, the big country red neck. But now I think she is the nicest of all of them, she seems really sweet.

I miss cute Ray. I used to like seeing him in his undies.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Out of there like The Flash

At 13.43, I got the magic words. “Well Christian, that is all I really have for you… you can go home.”

“Okay, cool.”

“Thanks for all your help.”

“Good working with you. Good luck with the new girl.”

And I was out of there like The Flash. (Scorch marks on the carpet, and all)

The religious nut on the corner handing out pamphlets, as I headed home, said that there was always something to be thankful for.

I'm thankful that my job finished today and that now I can sit on my arse and do nothing, I thought. And I smiled, right then and there in Russell Street after I thought it.

Guido arrived with pot. I have to go see him tomorrow for the other stuff.

“Oh shit sorry, I never gave you a thought with the other stuff. Sure. I can help you, come see me tomorrow at home.

Sam was still unhappy, you see it is his thing, the white goddess, he’s never happy until he has it in his hand.

Another job over. I’ve learned between (the black law firm) and now,

I’ve learned that us queens say a lot things with judgement, it is a part of our humour, it is away of making our way in the world. The mere mortals don’t get it, don’t like it, it gets us into trouble more often than not. All we have to do is drop the judgement to make our way more smoothly in the world.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Back to the Future

David called me to say he wanted the bottom bedroom and my study. I had offered him that combo last night. He said something about the loft bedroom room possibly being too cold. It is probably true of David, he likes to be warm.

I didn’t want to go to Woolies and Sam was exhausted, so we got the special pre7pm Indian meal deal, which seems to have become $8 dollar value for $10, rather than $12 value for $10, just lately. It has become just orange slop, rather than chicken in orange slop.

Sam was very worried about the lack of progress with the procurement of the crystal meth for the Melbourne Cup weekend. He never stopped talking about it. Four days off for him to recover. And hopefully, I’m still out of work by then, I plan to be.

Shane came home and said he’d had a frantic day. Tuli had run out of money and Shane had to run around to six Western Union before he found one that was open, as the money had to be transferred instantly, as Tuli needed the money to buy food. Now! Right away! Ah married life. It didn’t make too much sense for a couple who are about to relocate abroad. I’ve never been so broke that I couldn’t afford food, never. I don’t know what that would feel like? Besides, doesn’t he have a credit card? Or a tin of something in the back of the cupboard? Really? I don’t think I would want to admit to that? What does he do with his money?