Iprimus is Getting the Flick

AHHHHH!!!!!!!! I've had it with my Internet, it is SHIT!!!!!. Shit, I tell you. Iprimus is getting the flick. It continually drops in and out. I've had it! I tell you I've had it.

When you are trying to look at porn on the net, it just makes you want to throw the PC against the wall!

Time to find a new provider.

I guess I should call the idiots one more time.

I waited around for Mark to come and pick me up and I went with him to visit his parents.

I can't believe how fantastic the streets are to drive around on. It's like living in a liveable city once more. It should be Xmas holidays all year round.

I went bike riding for the afternoon. It was glorious by 4pm. Lovely. As were the rowers on the river. Woof! As are the streets of Melbourne while everyone is still away on holidays.

Down through the Fitzroy Gardens. No riding they say. No bikes they say. It makes very little sense I say > Wellington Parade South > Jolimont Terrace > over the bridge > over Brunton Avenue > around the tennis centre > along the bike path > around the Boulevarde > passed St Kevin’s > perving on the Xavier Boy’s rowing teams > all the way around to Gipps Street > Wellington Street > Peel Street > Smith Street. 

I cooked tomato and chilli and olive and tuna pasta for dinner. 

A Wilting Petal

Wasn't it hot! 40 degrees. I'm a lame duck in the heat. A wilting petal, for sure. A red rose in full bloom drooping downwards. Give me a beach, or some country hectares, and I'm fine, but confine me in the city and I head in doors and close the blinds. Ah!

Make it stop. (I'd rather be cold than very hot. That's not very Australian, I hear you say, sun bronzed Aussie and all that? Not some little queer in a fur lined hat? Well, I'm sorry about that, shattering all you dreams, I know, is whack. Haha.)

Having said that, I did manage to head out to Lygon Street for a double serving of passion fruit and pistachio ice cream. Yum

And I wonder why I'm getting fat? (not a clue, it must be some kind of allergy?)

I'm sure it's probably the hormones... or some such thing.

Everybody Gets Off

Grandpa fingering pinkie’s college twat

Busty mom sucking on a fat black cock

Brazilian she-male gets her arse rocked

Spicy dong broadcaster freely flashes his schlong

Alex jigging her wet pussy for long

Big-ass ebony-slut gets doggie-fucked slop

Tart screwed-sideways bya big I-talian cock

Indian chick riding the bullet in her slot

Old mistress flash ‘er tits and demos jerking to tease

Pussy talent never dies when it is free

BusntyBlondTeeenFlashingHerTitsInthebackseat

Brunette slut-has her legpushed_way back-forsoemthing-deep

bigtitblonde wife licksup a mouthfulofjizz after suckingastranger

hot_pig-tailed-babewith pierced nips testher-new dildo range, er

She likes hard and deep yo ho waft

blond bitchtake turns-sucking boys who’s eyes cross

everyone’s done when everybody has got off

I Decided to Absent Myself

I'm home today, couldn't be fagged. I never take sick days, unless I'm sick, so this is unusual for me.

Have I told you about my job? My boss Beck left because she was treated like shit for far too long.

Law firms, they are poisonous places to work. Everybody is building their own little empire from which to look down on the minions, passing the buck, pushing the knife, finding a scapegoat, when it suits their particular career path.

The modern day corporate law firm mantra, There must be someone to blame.

Or, as our National HR director, Champagne Sally, says, Why wasn't I told, even if there is written evidence against her, to everything, automatically, deflectively. We should call her teflon Sal. She doesn't care, she is an old war horse from years prior. Her favourite expression when she thinks nobody else can hear, Don't fucken tell me that!

Or, as the Finance Director, Fat Boy, says, What do you want me to do about it?

Or as the IT director, Jolly Jack, says... well, actually, he is so full of wind he just never stops talking. He's like a slightly demented child.
He got drunk recently and admitted to our old IT director that the award he won recently for IT director of the year was all based on lies. Kel surprise!
"All that stuff it was based on that they said I'd done, I haven't done half of that stuff."
He's so arrogant, as the rest of them, that he doesn't even realise he is talking to an original member of the "We hate (insert name of law firm) Club."

Or, as the head of marketing says, down his nose, Are you still here?

Or as one of the old executive directors used to say - actually that is more do than say - whatever lie it takes to win industry awards. What he used to do boarded on the criminal. Actually, it didn't border on it. We won female employer of choice, despite nothing, actually, changing in the great big boy's club. It was just a matter of interpretation. You know, take the first six months of 2005 and the second six months of 2007 and then swap whatever pesky months that don't fit your criteria and hey presto, your law firm qualifies for the award. It's like magic.

We had a couple of very competent, yet completely alarmed analysts who left because of the, shall we say, fraud they were forced to commit. Of course, the exec doesn't commit the fraud, oh no, corporate law firm 101, there must be somebody to blame if it all goes pear-shaped.

The funny thing was, that the best analyst, who I got on with really well, kept all of the original data, unbeknownst to the boss. My insurance policy, he used to say.

Anyway, our finance manager clearly has anorexia and his mood swings are enormous. I mean, he always had it in him, way back before he started a diet of gruel and guilt, but now, the potential first class shit has fulfill his destiny, so much so, that the now haggard-faced rat even looks like a bitch.

Our director of finance is a child who has been elevated way above his capabilities. His modes de operandi is to simply stop talking to any pesky employees who are making his life difficult. Now that is total blank out, like that employee ceases to exist, even in meetings he has with them. Gone, over with.

And our CEO just doesn't get it. Personalities aren't, shall we say, a strong suit. Oh no, everything is the bottom line. The only understanding the CEO has is the profit and loss and the next 200K bonus.

And, of course, nobody is, really, willing to do anything unless it actually builds their standing and prestige. So, when Beck tried to get new systems in place, which were vital to our processes, the before mention managers above us pissed around and wouldn't sign them off. They weren't interested, it didn't benefit them. So, for six months the documentation was send back with requests for revision. Stupid requests, meaningless changes, idiotic concerns, so much so that the system providers were flabbergasted at the on-going delays.

Have you done this? Have you got that? Has this been provided? Have were checked the potential problem? Have we got assurances for x y and z?

Yes, yes, yes and yes.

I don't seem to have it says both managers, do it again.

Of course, they are both frightened of the CEO and have no idea what they are doing without his say so.

This went on. The providers said they had never seen anything like it. Stalemate. The fiance director's answer was always, What do you want me to do about it?

Then when it got to a critical juncture, where our work practices were on the line and in threat of crumbling, the managers above still wouldn't act. Beck's job was slowly grinding to a halt.

Beck went to HR, who are always as useful as tits on a bull, which only caused our our managers to be pissed off and evasive.

The final straw came when the control freak anorexic finance manager accused Beck of getting all of the paperwork wrong, blaming it as the reason for the delay, saying that he'd have to do it all again himself. Beck looked at me dumbfounded and said, That paper work was all the contacts at the firm who were going to be using the software. How exactly do you think I could have got that wrong?

Beck confronted the skinny shit, who, essentially, accused Beck of being unstable and Beck resigned.

So, getting back to me. On top of all of this, of course, there are very much favourites in the department - child accountants who will do as they are told. Anyone with, shall we say, a personality and/or an opinion is being weeded out as they prove too, shall we say, challenging for the managers above. One of those favourites, with no experience what so ever, has been installed in Beck's job. So, I now have a boss who I have to train, lovely. He still has one foot in his last department and, thus far, he has taken no interest in any of the workings of our department. He, is of course, being talked up by the managers above because, of course, they installed him in the job.

So, today, when we have critical deadlines, all of which I have met, I might just add, I decided to absent myself, so that my new fresh-faced boss can go meet with the executive board and explain all the stuff that needs explaining, none of which he knows anything about.

Childish? Oh yes, quite possibly.

Will it come back to bite me on the arse? Oh, probably. I'll be the bad guy. "Of course, Christian let us down." Pat, pat, pat to my new manager. "You were great, under the circumstances."

And yes, I know, I should resign. I'm working up to it. This all has only just happened. But, I'm a lazy cow, I admit it.

As Shane says, "Nobody now even knows what you do. (sad but true) Just go in there, keep you head down and do your work and look for a new job."

Bitches of Eastwick

I had computer problems all morning, talk about boring. So, I didn’t get much done.

So, I had time to observe Fat, plain Liz who seemed to be helping Awful Rachel surreptitiously, don’t know what that is about. She’s like the fat friend – actually, not like, she is the fat friend – helping and supporting her ‘crush’. She’d give Rachel’s verjayjay a lick, you can see it in her totally empty eyes, just searching for the good thing to latch onto, so her life isn’t completely empty.

You know, Truly Awful Rachel was actually a decent sort, until she lost her looks and her husband Rob cheated on her. Oh, no, that is to come, we have that to look forward to.

I decided that I’d better offer to help Truly Awful Rachel before it becomes a black mark against my name, and the next time I look around, truly awful Rachel will be in Heart Palpitation Rachel’s office reporting in. (you can’t underestimate these horrible bitches) 

So, there I was in the afternoon stuffing letters into envelopes. (This is what I went to uni for, stuffing envelopes and going into daily battle with the Bitches of Eastwick)

I just keep reminding myself of my exit plan. May 31st, I get 7 years LSL June 01st, I resign.

The day was long, but eventually all bad things come to an end. You know the old saying, this too shall pass.

I was home alone, ah the peace, ah, the quiet. I headed to the sushi shop to buy sushi, but it was closed. So, I bought two buns from Breadtop and a meat samosa.

I came home and created more cartoons about our schizophrenic anorexic bitch boss, Belinda. Her and her conscious, I figure there would be voices in that head

I went to bed late, 2am. I was home on my own, so I had the house to myself. I was working on Belinda cartoons and photos of myself. The photos of me weren’t so good, so I got to them with my photo editing software and I got rid of all of the defects, as best I could.

But the cartoons made me smile.

Change the Aussie Flag

Kangaroo Flag

Australia Day

Australia Day, hey? Blue skies, open faces, long white beaches, big urban cities, wide open spaces, magnificent deserts more beautiful than can really be imagined. The beating, red heart of all of us.

The rest of the world says friendly people, oh so often.

What’s it good for, other than a day off from the salt mines for me? Not sure?

Mateship and oi, oi oi?

Shouldn't every day be Australia Day? Don't we all have it in us, that feeling of belonging, that knowing that we are the luckiest country in the world?

Because, all that misguided patriotism that tends to lead to anyone not being “the same” being viewed as an outcast. Oh yes, the honours, the Australia Day honours, I guess, I should go and read if I have won one. Ha, ha. Lot’s of do-gooders licking arse, that’s how I see it.

The jets are now flying overhead, I guess, that must mean something? Yes, global warming, you idiots, that’s what I think. How much burnt fuel is being let loose into the atmosphere?

Let's do something useful and change the flag.

Happy Australia Day.

How Petty Am I?

Mark W. came over with dinner for Shane. He made a great show of preparing the meal, even pouring drinks. All the time I was doing my thing, around and about and not once did he offer me any. Not that he had to, of course, but it would have been nice to have offered.

Then Mark W. and Shane had talks about the fines Mark W. continues to get in Shane's old car, which is still in Shane's name. They'd done this all before, but Captain Vague had somehow managed to screw it all up and not fix any of it and now it is heading to debt collectors, or court, or some such thing. 

Once they were done, Shane came out to me and asked me if I had a couple of stamps. 

“Sure,” I said. I picked up my wallet and started to look for them.

And, you know, just as I was about to pull them out, I thought, fuck off, you are rude enough with the dinner and then you want something from me, come on. 

“Oh, sorry, I must have run out.”

I’m not like that, I’m really not. Most of my friends say I’m one of the most generous people they know, but there is something about Mark’s self centred arrogance that just rubs me up the wrong way, sometimes.

Mark W. didn't say goodbye, as he left. I know he can be vague, but please.

Sometimes I wonder if it is me? Am I the problem? Perhaps, it is me?

Marco, The Underwear Model, Likes To Be Admired, As You Would Expect From A Man Who Spends Most Of His Time In His Underpants

Black trunks

Lovely!

We headed to Victoria Street for American style pork ribs cooked in a Vietnamese way, Sunday night. Sam is a foodie and I’m not, as much. He so often says to me, 

“As long as you are not hungry, huh?”

“Of course.”

“What about the joy of food?”

“Joy, smoy.”

He throws his hands in the air. But, I do eat great food with him.

 Only to discover the Chinese New Year Festival in full swing. I suggested we leave because we’d never be able to find a car park. All the streets were cut off there were cars all over the place, heading in every direction.

“Chinese New Year,” said Sam.

The next moment, I decided I shouldn’t give in so easily, I shouldn’t be such a terrible quitter, and the very next thing, a young, valley girl as it turned out, who was walking next to the car, who heard me talking about finding a car park through the open window said,

“You can follow me, if you like. I’m parked just along here somewhere, if I could only remember where I parked it.” Girlish smile. “It’s just here somewhere.”

Wouldn’t David cream his fisherman’s pants over that one? They ask the universe kind of thing, not the girl.

We ate everything we liked the look of, at the side of the road stalls, as we headed east down Victoria Street. There were people everywhere, in some places too, too many to get through comfortably, but only a few.

Fried coconut pancakes, chilli and honey dried pork, sweet pancakes with shrimp, corn with butter, cane sugar juice, fried taro cake and finally the illusive curly Korean potato, hot and spicy – which wasn’t, really, worth the wait.

There were carnival rides and live music.

We bought hot pork rolls home for dinner.

We watched “Australia” when we got back, I’d never seen it. Nicole, Nicole, Nicole! We smoked pot, it helped. Sam didn’t, he wanted to be clear-headed tomorrow, he’s got a presentation to give which is streamed back live to his head office in Shanghai. So, of course, you can’t smoke pot the night before.

I sat up and wrote my journal, Sam went to bed... like an old married couple.

Lovely!

 

Back to Happy

I did the painting, all day yesterday; windows, doors, garden gates. So, I've got a happy boyfriend again.

So, I guess, I’m not terrible Christian any longer. Big fat Christian liar, is something else I was too. I guess I’m not that either.

You know, terms I'm really happy with.

But, I guess he doesn't get drama queen, or little bitch any longer either. So, yo know, it all works out.

And we fooled around in the middle of it, with paint all over us. Not sure if the neighbours could see, I thought, afterwards. Sam has a high fence out the front, but the neighbours have a double story house across the road.

We ate noodles for lunch and not just our own, in Preston, just near the market.

It dawned on me over lunch, that to enjoy the multiculturalism that I move to Fitzroy in the first place to live amongst, I’d have to move further out. The yuppies have turned Fitzroy in Balwyn, except with more interesting architecture.

Bats

I've got bats flying around in the back yard, they roost in the big gum tree out the back in next door's yard. They look really cool and sleek flying against the grey night sky. I like them.

I always think of chamois leather when I think of bats.

Or, I think of the bat in captivity on the Gold Coast from a few years back which they fed mango, which seemed to shit mango, exactly the same.

Pretty News Reader

Cute, isn't he

Correct Answer

I was having lunch with Sam today – yes, all (almost) happy again – and he was giving me stick, in a light-hearted kind of way, about being lay Christian Fat Arse.

I replied, “What's with the attitude, don't you want me to come over and paint this weekend? Is that what you are saying?”

He stopped mid-sentence, his eyes widened and his mouth curled into a devious grin and he said, in a spider to the fly kind of way, "I dare you." Holding his gaze burning into me.

I felt a chill up my spine, a vibration right through my body. I nodded and winked. "I'll be there."

He pursed his mouth and nodded his head. "Correct answer."

I was charmed by it, to tell you the truth. I was so attracted to him at that moment. I'm not, really, sure what that says? He was back to his old self, I guess.

Shitty for a week, though. Boyfriends? Fuck!

There Is Something About All That Male Energy Being Put Into A Kiss Between Two Guys That Is Really Hot

What Good Are Tuesdays?

What good are Tuesdays?

Monday gets all the attention with being the first day of the week. It even has its very own condition named after it. You know, one of the itis'

Wednesdays get the middle and because of that they have a speciality all of their own. They are even singled out with their own nick name, which bears a striking resemblance to sex, so they get lots of attention.

Everybody loves Friday, it seems to be their very own favourite.

Thursday scapes it in with the one-day-to-go mantra. Nearly there, nearly done, aren’t we pleased it is Thursday, some people might say, granted not the majority, but some. They’d never say that about a Tuesday, never.

It's Been A Pretty Full On Eight Months

Sam is still not talking to me. No good morning message to wake up to, no chatty emails when I turn on my computer, no instant messaging.

Silence.

I guess, about now, I should be sending flowers, or chocolates, or even a funny message... but I'm not.

I'm just going to sit back and feel the change, feel what it is like to be without him. It's been a pretty full on eight months.

Of course, this could be exactly the wrong thing to do, I realise that. I've never been very good at conflict resolution in matters of the heart.

But, you know, I come back to... (to put it one way), I did one thing wrong and it's all over. I really need my relationships to be built on stronger ground than that.

Later...

I was going to send him roses to work; no card, just the flowers. But, by the time it occurred to me, it was too late in the day. So, I sent him a photo, that I took, of my red roses.

I should have sent the real thing, I know.

But, at least he has been talking to me since I did.

Later again...

Oh, of course, it's all because I smoked pot with Shane Friday night, the night before. But so did Sam. Give me strength! Now, apparently, I am lazy Christian fat arse.

No, it's because you were at me the moment we got up about the windows. And just because I didn't look like I wanted to do it, it didn't mean I wasn't going to. You cracked the shits and fled the house.

Leon

Shane’s guy has said he doesn’t want to continue with the "two of them." Just like that. He was the one who wanted monogamy. Shane was trying it for the first time. Leon was the one who couldn't keep his hands off his ex as soon as he got back interstate for Xmas.

He is a twelve year old trapezes act, so I mean, what do you expect? Well, twenty two, really, but a circus act, none the less. Do twenty two year old's know their dick from their cunt? So, I mean to say? Even Shane is a little old for a twenty two year old. He turns forty this year.

He’d kill me for saying that and I’m kidding, of course. Leon seemed nice, lovely, gorgeous. Shane is, well, a thirty nine years old with miles on him.

So what, we'll both be having baked beans on toast for dinner in silence, dim lighting, that will be the two of us? Long faces? Grunts. Nothing much to say.

Sam's Painting

I saw a friend recently, who I haven't seen for a while, not for any reason just busy lives and together we lamented the lack of maintenance we have exercised over our houses of late. We shared leaking roof stories. So, in all of this torrential rain, in the last few days, my friend’s words have come into my head, as I hurriedly emptied the back gutters to cope with the down pour, and I joyously watched as the lounge room roof didn’t drip, as it had. I thanked the universe for Mark, who cleaned my back yard from top to bottom, just last New Year’s day. He unblocked the now tested drain that takes the water away from the back yard.

I’ve got to say, I’ve enjoyed all the rain, in the middle of the otherwise thirty five degree days, though.

How things change in short span of time. Right at this present moment, Shane and I have both been dumped. Mine is only an argument, a spat, but it makes you think, think about one rather than two.

Sam wanted me to paint his newly installed windows, he’s had all the rotten ones replaced. I have to admit, I had my I-don’t-want-to-do-it face on, as the number of windows went from four to ten, in a matter moments. I know that. But, just because I didn’t look happy about it, didn’t mean I was going to do it. I only suggested he got a painter, who'd do it in half the time it would take us.

He said he was going. I didn’t stop him.

I’ve never been really good with boyfriends who are obviously cross and who they say they are leaving. My natural thought, has always been, Well, if you are going to get in a shitty mood, you might as well go and do it away from me, somewhere else.

That’s always how I’ve always felt.

I know, I know, suck up to them, pat them, make them feel good, tell them you are sorry. I know what I should be doing.

I’m sure it is something lacking in me.

The Floods

I think we take a left.

Nah ah, it's straight on.

No, I'm sure it is left.

No way.

Okay, we'll ask the naked guy sitting in the front?

Which way naked guy?

Fuck knows?

Okay, fuck it, straight ahead it is.

The Floods

Wet lads in bordies, what's not to like? 

[It’s a flood, don’t lessen the tragedy by objectifying the guys. 

Blah, blah, blah. 

It's Queensland, what tragedy? Spoken like a true Victorian. Besides, do you think anything I say down south will make an iota of difference.]

The Floods

I'd rescue him.

The Floods

Look at those dimples.

Work Was Okay, Today. I Lived To Fight Another Day

Work was okay, today. I put my head down - no, not my bum up - and worked all day.

"Yes, yes, my Xmas was good. Too short, it went so fast. Yes, yes."

I judiciously avoided the fat loser and the anorexic bitch. They didn't asked me how my holidays were, so the day was good.

The anorexic bitch's hip bones are more prominent than ever before, so organ failure can't be too far away. Here's hoping.

I heard the fat loser does nappy role play. Sadly, I can picture him with a dummy in his gob.

I saw the cyborg queen in the distance, looking busy, hurried, butch. I told Beck how when the cyborg queen used to stand at her desk so often asking her questions, that she looked down Beck's shirt. Beck laughed.

"For the million she's on a year, I may have just opened another button, if you'd told me."

The drunk lush in charge of HR asked me in her too-many-fags voice how I was, when I was up there checking contracts. I don't know, maybe it's me, but she always sounds like said-the-spider-to-the-fly.

I wanted to say, get fucked, but I just smiled sweetly instead as I didn't stop walking.

I heard she fucks the C.E.O. I've often wondered how she kept her job.

And suddenly it was 17.30. Woo Hoo.

I didn't call my recruitment agent.

Come Here, Gorgeous. Let Me Hold You In My Arms

Oh Bugger it, I’m Going To Slip Back Into Denial

Oh what to do today? I slept in late, thanks to staying up until 4.30am watching Emerdale. It's my latest waste of time.

It’s wet and muggy.

Should I call my old recruitment agent? She said she wanted to clone me when I left contract work for a full time position. I haven't felt that kind of appreciation for such a long time, although that was eight years ago and I didn't have a mortgage then. That's what scares me, it didn't matter if contracts dried up for a few weeks, or so. Now, it does... in these uncertain times. If only Mark was in a position to give me back the money he owes me.

But, I feel sick about work, I feel sick about having to go in there tomorrow.

The fat loser and the anorexic bitch are running the asylum under the hawk-like gaze of the cyborg queen.

Oh bugger it, I’m going to slip back into denial and watch Emerdale. Aaron (and Jackson) is so much more appealing. Not to mention cutie pants Adam.

Yeah, Sure, He Is The Reason I Started Watching Emmerdale

Loving the Cool Weather

Sam was up before me, again, to work on his programming for work, he still had the problem he is trying to solve. I woke up with a sore arm, I reckon I must have slept with it over my head for too long. I so wanted to lie on the couch all day. But, apparently, that wasn't an option.

Sam solved his problem, he was happy.

“Now we can watch porn and fool around in the kitchen with the olive oil." Dirty smile.

We headed out to Brunswick Street to eat at Marios.

Sam wanted to go riding, but I said my arm was too sore. He pushed me out the door, he's good for me like that.

We fooled around in the kitchen again, as I was making us a cup of tea, post ride.

I watched Doctor Who – the episode where David Tenant regenerates as Matt Smith, as Sam did some more programming. Sam has never watched Doctor Who before – what? I don't understand? – and he was singularly unimpressed with one doctor turning into another, even after I assured him it was a rare event.

Shane came home from Kyneton.

We headed to Tom Phat in Sydney Road for dinner. I so much prefer Sydney Road, now a days, to the tourist attraction Brunswick Street now is.

I drove Sam home. Chatted with Charlie, I hadn't seen him since he's been back in Australia.

I must tip that jug of olive oil out, which is still sitting on the kitchen bench, before Shane uses it.

It Was Hot, 35 degrees

I woke up late. Sam was up working on his computer when I got down stairs. He had some work programming problem he was having trouble solving.

We were supposed to be heading out for breakfast, oh well. I slept late on a Saturday, so shoot me.

It was hot, 35 degrees. I didn't want to leave the house.

We ate lunch at our favourite Japanese restaurant in Carlton. I wanted to ride bikes, but Sam said I was mad and that we needed air-conditioning. We went shopping for clocks afterwards, for Sam, in Fitzroy. 

The cool change blew up Johnson Street, lovely. 

Sam as he has been suffering badly from hay fever, poor baby, so antihistamines were on the shopping list. He always forgets them, hands in the air. We went to the supermarket to get supplies and dinner ingredients to make Jamie Oliver’s 30 minute curry. I have to cook occasionally, apparently, and Shane bought me Oliver's cook book for Xmas, pointedly. Of course, I wanted to stick the recipe, being a Virgo and all, and Sam wanted to improvise, grrrr, but it turned out fine in the end.

Shane was going to be home with a mystery guest for dinner, who turned out to be Kevin Bart, the camp old thing. I haven't seen him for ages, we call him mother. And suddenly I was cooking for an unprepared guest. Oo, ah. But, he said he liked it.

Anthony

I got a letter from my long lost friend, Anthony, just like that, out of the blue, today. We haven't seen each other in eight years, he just kind of faded out of my life. I am so please, I can't begin to tell you how.

He was my first boyfriend, when I first came out into gay world. My first baby-steps attempt at gaydom. We were young pups together, holding hands tentatively, as we went out into the world together as one, dancing under the lights, like bunnies caught in the headlights.

It was a glorious six months and then we headed off in our own directions, heads spinning. Too naive to know what we wanted.

Eventually, we became friends again, when we were both in new relationships. He became one of my group of friends and we partied together with much gusto.

He just “got” me, and I loved that about him. We “got” each other.

Now children, when you hear “them” say that substances can lead to mental issues, it is, of course, true for a small percentage of people. Unfortunately, it was true for Anthony. And about eight, or so, years ago the world closed in on him and he drifted away. And I haven’t seen him since.

He and Tom were my very best friends and I lost them both. So, you can understand when I say that I'm just a bit pleased.

We'll see. He tells me he's been through hell. He says he's not ready to meet, yet. It's back to baby steps, I guess. 

Ravi

21.48. Ravi. 

Hi Christian

21:49 Christian

hi

21:50 Ravi

What r u doing these days

21:50 Christian

I've been on holidays, just about to go back to work tomorrow

How about you?

21:50 Ravi

I'm unemployed

21:50 Christian

unemployed?

21:51 Ravi

Yes. Contract finished with the school

21:51 Christian

How come? Oh. No teaching jobs?

21:51 Ravi

Not ATM

21:52 Christian

Can't you charm them?

21:52 Ravi

It was just for a year. I couldn't charm u. Don't have a chance with others

21:52 Christian

Oh, I don't know about that

21:52 Ravi

How is ur mum?

21:53 Christian

She's in care

21:53 Ravi

Well then how come u don't call me, I mean over to ur place? U know I love making out with u

.

21:53 Christian

We just never seemed to be able to sync our schedules

21:54 

21:54 Christian

You're pretty charming, though

21:54 Ravi

It's ok I thought I would let u know that u r a very tempting handsome man and I do think of u

21:55 Christian

You are too, you know

21:55 Ravi

I'm in a catholic school if I try they might burn me

21:55 Christian

the pope may fall over dead, hey?

I thought you were really handsome yourself, but we just never seemed to be able to get together

21:56 Ravi

Hey we need to catch up some day. I dreamt of sucking u off a few days back

21:57 Christian

Sure, I'd like that, you know. Except, I'm seeing someone at the moment

21:57 Ravi

I was looking at ur pics

21:57 Christian

You were sexy in my arms. lost opportunities, really

21:58 Ravi

I would let u decide if u want my lips on your cock or not. Lol

21:58 Christian

I liked the way you used to feel

21:58 Ravi

If u feel it's right let me know. U are not the first guy to lay me off for someone else

I have seen this part of life 2 years back, Before I met u. I was badly dumped

Lol

21:59 Christian

I didn't lay you off, I was pretty keen, you are really nice, but, I kind of thought you weren't so interested. We never seemed to meet up

22:00 Ravi

I was busy earning for my studies. And I'm still hand to mouth. I couldn't have just come into ur Life as a pauper. It would have made things sour

22:02 Christian

Yeah, I know... your studies. It wouldn't have mattered you being broke, I wouldn't have cared

22:02 Ravi

That's true u wouldn't and why should u

22:03 Christian

You're nice and sweet and smart and funny... and I've kind of thought about you as someone who got away.

I thought you lost interest in me

22:03 Ravi

Bull shit

22:03 Christian

what's bullshit

22:03 Ravi

I never lost interest

22:04 Christian

Maybe so, but that's how I ended up feeling. it's a shame

22:04 Ravi

But any way who r u dating and is he treating u good

22:04 Christian

He's really sweet. Nice, funny, keeps up with me

22:06 Ravi

No it's not a shame it never will be coz the time I spent with u was great and if god wills we would have good time again but I don’t wish ill for ur new romance may u prosper in it

22:06 Christian

I was keen on you

22:06 Ravi

I am still here

22:07 Christian

And. maybe one day, as clichéd as it sounds... you never know

22:07 Ravi

Keep me as the other guy. I like that. It's sexy and fun. Keep me a secret

22:08 Christian

No. You're too nice to be kept as a secret

22:08 Ravi

A hidden refuge this way u get the best I don't have an issue with it. N never introduce me to ur squeeze

22:09 Christian

You make me laugh with that

22:09 Ravi

Cheat with me

22:09 Christian

I still think of what a sexy boy you are. But, I'm not the cheating kind, too stressful

22:09 Ravi

I'm making it easy for u. Lol

22:10 Christian

Oh yeah...

22:10 Ravi

I am the devil playing hismeptophallese. I want u to fuck me

22:12 Christian

sure, you're nice to fuck. But I'm not the cheating kind. When I look into my guy's eyes, I need a clear and pure mind with which to connect.

But, I would like to again. You're sexy and passionate. And nice to kiss

22:14 Ravi

I miss u. I would let u go now

22:14 Christian

I liked being with you... you were really nice

22:15 Ravi

Hope u come to my dream and do something wild. Take care and give love to ur Bf

22:15 Christian

Take you in my arms, hey?

22:16 Ravi

Fuck me nice and slow

22:16 Christian

nice and slow

22:16 Ravi

I am not the super slammer type

22:16 Christian

I remember...

22:17 Ravi

Yep gentle and with lots of touch body contact. Kissing n licking

Good night Christian before I get too uncomfortable I am already hard

Message me when u r free

We could catch up some time give me advance notice

22:19 Christian

You take care sweet man

What To Do, Hey?

I'm eating muscles and oysters on rice crackers and drinking coffee, while I contemplate my inability to quit smoking. Tomorrow, I tell myself. And it probably will be, I'm good at stopping. It's just staying off them that I find hard.

The sun is shining, it is a beautiful day. I've padded around barefoot on the back yard paving and it has been glorious. All that stored heat in the stone work, it nourishes the soul. The sky is a radiant blue, one great blue window to infinity.

A gentle breeze blows. The sun sparkles on the surface of the pond. The over grown creeper waves with a hundred arms from the side wall, as if trying to taunt me into getting the hedge trimmers.

A couple of days off, on my own, makes me think about the world and my place in it. I think the new year also provokes a kind of revision, of sorts. What to do, hey?

What to do? A new year inspires new things, or at least it ought to, I guess. Last year was pretty good, a new, sweet, lovely boyfriend. Maybe this year, I should seriously think about a new job. I'm not sure how much more I can endure at my corporate law firm. My two departmental managers are truly awful. One is a baby elevated beyond his abilities, because all the others have fallen under the unnecessary toughness of our CEO. Our CEO doesn't understand personalities, the CEO only understands the bottom line, people don't matter, profit does. My next departmental manager is quite obviously unwell, but no one seems to care, as she still produces results. But, she is becoming more and more unstable.

Maybe it is time to seek out the same kind of sweetness I have in other aspects of my life? Or something close to it. I'm so lazy about getting a new job, but life is too short, hey? 

Kenneth Williams Best Medical Advise

Don't You Love Being On Holidays

I was going to write something, I really was – how we watched the New Years fireworks from the bow of a boat, moored one boat bay from the barge that let off the fireworks in Victoria Harbour, spectacular! I should have taken photos, but I was lost in it all. We drank champagne, which isn't my drink, but it was New Years Eve, after all. Sam doesn't drink at all, except with my encouragement. I was going to write about how Sam took to, what you take when you go partying, with great gusto. I like seeing his monster come out. But, I spent the day on YouTube and whoosh, there goes 8 hours. Tom Cruise on Oprah spoofs, Dave Letterman, Bette Midler, Parkinson, Kenneth Williams... the funniest man ever...

Oh well, there's always tomorrow. 

Don't you love being on holidays.

... all the time eating Maltesers. I mean, who in their right mind gives you a kilo bucket of Maltesers for New Year’s Day? What do they think I'm going to do with those? Piff them over the fence at the noisy neighbours?

 

Iphone Rolls A Joint

Your iPhone Will Teach You How to Roll a Joint for Free [IPhone Apps] Gizmodo

Steve wants a porn-free world, but he doesn't seem to care much about a drug-free one. After all, he's a flower power LSD San Francisco kid at heart and, technically, the Roll Your Own iPhone app doesn't promote any drug use. No sir, it doesn't.

Happy New Year

We went out after the fireworks, after the straight crowd. We headed to Nurse Betty and our tribe. Straight chicken and champagne can only cut it for so long, if you know what I mean.

Bang, whoosh, zip, ahhhhh! I think I'm okay. Oh, my goodness. What day is it? Did that just all happen? Oohh! Errrrr! My aching head.

I've got skin worn off places that shouldn't have skin worn off. Oh, you know, just in the interest of being friendly. He, he. I mean, I was only sharing skin cells with one person. There were lots of pretty boys at the party, and I guess I must have noticed to be writing this, but I didn't care.

I think I have to go and lie down. Quietly.

Happy New Year!

Fireworks on the Harbour

New Years eve was unbearably hot, forty something degrees. We stayed inside until the sun went down.

We went and watched the fireworks off the bow of Mark’s brother’s boat moored at Victoria Harbour. We caught a tram at 10pm, which was packed and full of happy revellers. There was such a buzz to the city, there were people everywhere. The tram was almost a party in itself, happy revellers keen to have a fun night.

The boat was moored in Victoria Harbour one boat from the end of the bay right next to the barge that was letting off the fireworks. It was spectacular. The colours were amazing, the noise was thrilling. I should have taken some photos, but I was too lost in the moment.

And, of course, Mark's brother laid it on, chicken, sea food, caviar, and champagne and wine and beer, as much as you could drink and eat. Lovely. Laying back on the plus cushions on the deck of the huge boat, it was like we had a wide screen TV to the celebrations.