What To Do, Hey?

I'm eating muscles and oysters on rice crackers and drinking coffee, while I contemplate my inability to quit smoking. Tomorrow, I tell myself. And it probably will be, I'm good at stopping. It's just staying off them that I find hard.

The sun is shining, it is a beautiful day. I've padded around barefoot on the back yard paving and it has been glorious. All that stored heat in the stone work, it nourishes the soul. The sky is a radiant blue, one great blue window to infinity.

A gentle breeze blows. The sun sparkles on the surface of the pond. The over grown creeper waves with a hundred arms from the side wall, as if trying to taunt me into getting the hedge trimmers.

A couple of days off, on my own, makes me think about the world and my place in it. I think the new year also provokes a kind of revision, of sorts. What to do, hey?

What to do? A new year inspires new things, or at least it ought to, I guess. Last year was pretty good, a new, sweet, lovely boyfriend. Maybe this year, I should seriously think about a new job. I'm not sure how much more I can endure at my corporate law firm. My two departmental managers are truly awful. One is a baby elevated beyond his abilities, because all the others have fallen under the unnecessary toughness of our CEO. Our CEO doesn't understand personalities, the CEO only understands the bottom line, people don't matter, profit does. My next departmental manager is quite obviously unwell, but no one seems to care, as she still produces results. But, she is becoming more and more unstable.

Maybe it is time to seek out the same kind of sweetness I have in other aspects of my life? Or something close to it. I'm so lazy about getting a new job, but life is too short, hey?