Monday in the Office

My day in the office, even with my sore knee, like a corporate whore, like all the other corporate whores selling their souls to the highest bidder, I don't want to be one of those corporate whores*, but here I am.

I could pull the sore knee excuse, because my knee is still incredibly sore. 2 panadols, and 2 ibrophen seem to be doing the trick, but it is slow to get better. But, Boris is home in Lapland, and Max, the temp, is in the office first day on her own, so, I guess, I have to head in to support her. She seems nice. She came with a great resume, but somehow, I feel, there has been some, now what would I say, er, padding.

Not to worry, it isn't really my concern.

But, Sam goes overseas tonight and I plan to take the next few Monday office days off, one way, or another, to look after Otto home on his own for the first time ever really n his 3 years of life.

Oh, I mean work from home, not pull sickies, but as I keep saying to Sam I have in excess of 50 sick days accrued, so if it requires a sickie, I won't be backward in taking one.

* Have I ever told you about my life as a whore? When I first came out, when I was very new to everything? I was in The Prince of Wales on Sunday night, and there was this older guy - when I say older guy, he was probably 30 years old, 35 years old - and I sucked him off in the toilets, it was very exciting, first time I had ever done anything like that. He had a nice dick. Afterwards, he put $50 in my hand. I have no idea why he put $50 in my hand, but he did. So, that’s my life as a whore.

Max, the temp, whispers behind her hand to me, “Do you find nearly all HR women are bitches?”

So, you see, I like her already.

The boys too, I want to add, but I don’t, actually, say it.

I Miss You Mate

It's Sunday, and after I have been editing my old blogs, adding, and changing images, all morning, I get out the proper Dyson vacuum, so I don't have to deal with the truely awful LG handheld vacuum, ready to do a big vacuum.

I vacuum the study first.

Then I get the large box down from the top of the study bookshelf in which we keep the hard floor vacuum head. Also in that box, for no apparent reason, are Brun's two park basketballs. I don't know how, but he would know instantly when I got that box down from the top of the bookshelf and he would be in the study and would have one, or both, of those basketballs out of that box and would be chasing it/them around the house amusing himself for the whole time I’d do the vacuuming.

Today, both those basketballs lay dormant in their box untouched. It was a sad sight.

When I vacuum, Buddy used to be the immovable object. I could vacuum right up to him, even nudge him with the vacuum head and he wouldn't move.

Brun would walk right up to the vacuum and stand in front of it, I'm not really sure if he wanted to play, or was saying, You Can't Go Here. Whichever way, I'd have to move him out of the way.

Otto is scared of the vacuum and he runs to the furthest point away from it, which is usually right up against the back door, waiting for me to open it so he can hide in Buddy's old kennel until the vacuum monster was put away again.

The sun shines outside.

Sunday is cleaning day, of course.

After that, I think we are going for haircuts and lunch.

My knee still hurts.

Sam goes overseas tomorrow.

Cold Saturday

It was 2 degrees this morning. Cold, cold, cold. In fact the coldest morning of the year.

Okay, I'm cold. I'm really fucken cold.  It's cold. My feet are like ice all morning. It's cold. The sun comes out mid morning. It's still bloody cold. I don't warm up, not at all.

We have a cooked lunch, it doesn't help.

It's not until we take Otto for a walk early afternoon that I even feel the warmth of the sun.

1:50pm. we take Otto for a walk

The sun is shining, it’s nice to feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. It is the first time I have felt warm all day.

2pm. We cross Brunswick Street. There’s an Ed Sheeran look alike coming from the other direction. I swear he looked just like him. I wanted to take a photo

We go to the Carlton Gardens and walk around the park once, right around the perimeter.

2:30pm. We’re in chemist warehouse in Brunswick Street Sam stocks up on nonsense medicine for his cousin’s overseas which he will take them next week. 

Suddenly, I felt weak and had to go and sit down. I think it’s my stupid low blood sugar thing, damn it’s annoying. I didn't eat much lunch, I wasn't that hungry, I just had to have something, no big deal really.

I get a protein drink on the way out that is so heavily sweetened with artificial sweetener that it’s kind of revolting. 100% sugar-free, but 100% Aspartame.

3pm. We’re home.

Susanto goes to the supermarket. He comes home with cheese cake and oranges. I have an orange, possibly my favourite fruit, while I make tea.

We drink tea and eat cheese cake.

I watch YouTube.

I fall asleep on the couch.

I wake up at dusk and light an open fire.

The misery news hour comes on.

Friday In Front Of The Fire

Sam heads to the office early.

I light a fire immediately Sam has gone.

Just me and you today, I say to Otto.

Cough, cough, I hear.

Yes, you too, Milo.

I sit with my back to the fire. Otto slides in between my legs and lies down. Not really a sustainable position, but cute for now

I sit on the couch and re-write my old blog posts with Otto curled up on the couch next to me on one side, and Milo curled up on the couch on the other side. First time really that has ever happened. Brun could be a little bitch to Milo never letting him relax in the lounge room with us, and now Milo can. Otto is much more relaxed about him.

Funny really, as Brun was the most chilled out, laid back dog you'd ever meet, but not where Milo was concerned.

Cold Thursday

I generated AI images for my old blog posts all day. It takes alot of time to get them all done, so I stick at it. Otto and I shared the couch. He slept next to me all day, until we headed out for a walk in the late afternoon.

I was cold all day.

I didn't go to the gym as my knee isn't getting better. Well, it is better than it was, but it hasn't actually got completely better, which is really annoying. I want to go to the gym. I don't want to lose the momentum of going 3 times a week, but my knee is still fucked up.

I don't know what I am going to do about it? I guess go to the doctor. Osteopath? Maybe. I guess.

Vile HR Slappers

The hideous little bitches that are now in our Sydney HR department are the worst we have ever had.

They are just vile little cunts. No, seriously, they are. Vile little cunts.

I don't know if they are just the generation that have grown up with foulness, which has made them foul.

Or, if they are just so into their own careers, that nobody, and nothing, else matters in any way.

Maybe, they aren't getting any, that the men in their lives don't like them? As much as I am loathed to say women are defined by the men in their lives, which they are not, in these cases the guy's dicks would shrivel up and fall off if exposed to these awful, duplicitous slappers.

Where do they get them from? The bosses? Bitches are Us?

I've had run-ins with all of them today. I wanted to say to Boris, just keep these vile little snot-rags away from me. Sadly, you can't do that. I developed a strategy of just avoiding them, and some how these disgusting wenches went to the CEO. What the fuck? Just putrid.

The problem is that Fish Face and The Giant Ponytail will only listen to these harping seal cubs and act on what these lying little mingers tell them.

So, big breath, Christian.

But they are slowly, but surely, ringing the last skerrick of enjoyment I had in my job right out of it.

I should put their names in the freezer?

Oh, yes, I should, it would amuse me, if nothing else.

Tuesday Just Me and Otto

I was making coffee this morning. I'd put the coffee shots in the cups and I was frothing the milk when my coffee machine began to make the most horrendous noise I had never heard it make before.

It was making a kind of grinding noise, and a clack, clack, clack noise at the same time.

I turned the frother on and off. I turned the machine off and on. I varied the speed of milk frothing, oh, I know, as if that is possible. I turned it off and on again, still the awful noise, I turned it off and on, once more. Is that the definition of insanity?

I thought I was going to finish with the milk frothing. It was clearly dying. What the fuck was I going to do?

This would require an emergency trip to the appliance shop should the worst be happening. Sam would blame me, of course.

"Of course," Sam would say.

Then I noticed out the corner of my eye it was out of water.

I filled up the water container. I patted it and told it I loved it, which I do, it's my favourite machine in the world, I couldn't bare the thought that I had damaged it in some way. 

Full of water, I switched it back on. The grinding noise stopped. The clack, clack, clack noise stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief. 
I wondered if I had done any damage to it.

Sam left at 8.15am.

Charlie left at 8.30am.

Just Otto and me for the day again.

I should get the wank out of the way straight up. Ha, ha. Isn't that what guys do when they have the house to themselves?