Hooking Up with Manny

8.30am

My dreams

It was a dark night and I was driving a British Racing Green MGB. I had a flat tyre, Jean Black (one of mum’s eighty year old friends) was helping me change it. I took the winged hub nuts off with some sort of knuckle-dusters. My attention was distracted for a moment as I put the wheel by the side of the road, and when I looked back, Jean had dismantled the whole brake assembly with a screwdriver. (Ed note. Jean Black is legally blind) The parts were all over the road and she looked very pleased with herself. She smiled at me, like there’s a good job done, but she was looking in a different direction to where I was.

I was catching a 72 tram down Burke Road from High Street Malvern. I was in a hurry to get to where I was going. When we got to Malvern Road the tram turned left, apparently, it was a new route and I hadn’t noticed that the number on the tram was in fact 72A. The driver was one of the service guys from work. I was pissed off, I had to be somewhere. 

"What are we doing," I said? 

We headed up onto a rocky peak, on the very peak of the ridge, like some sort of madmouse. The driver gave me the full story how he was one of the very few who could negotiate the tracks through the rocky out-crop. I was dizzy from vertigo as the tram wound around the windy track. 

The next thing we were at the terminus in Glen Iris with the driver drinking tea from a thermos under palm trees with coconuts.

I got out to walk to wherever it was that I was going, shaking my head. “Unbelievable,” I muttered.

Stella arrived at 9am, with baby Patrick and we went to look at light-fittings in Richmond. The light fittings were cheaper than I would have given them credit for.

Stella explained how she negotiates the city in zones. She can travel from her home zone into another zone, no problem. But travelling between zones is more difficult. Sometimes there is nothing for it, but to go back to her home zone and start again. She laughed.

Stella had never seen my house, so I encouraged her to come now, while it is spotlessly clean. I think she was impressed, as house it is pretty cool. 

She dropped me back home at midday. 

I finally bought a new cafetiére. I had to go and buy a new coffee bean grinder, as Shane took the last one, despite it being given to the house by Sebastian. I think, maybe, Sebastian even bought it over after I had discussed it with him. But, I suppose, Shane thinks that Sebastian is really his friend. I guess that’s what he thought? 

I really got intimidated into buying the more expensive grinder by the shop assistant at Jaspers, who was so Prue from Kath & Kim. 

“We have the Gaggia and the Leggia, unless of course you just want one of those buzz-boxes?” She rolled her eyes at the thought.

“Um, yes, it was the buzz box that I was really interested.”

Wide eyes, look of disdain. “Oh…we only really have two types. This one, which is fifty-five dollars and this one which is one hundred and five. This one has a better motor and is clearly the better product of the two,” she said pointing to the more expensive model.

“So are you saying this one is much better than that one.”

“Well, yes, this one has two cutting blades and this one,” roll of the eyes, “only has one.”

“So would this one will last longer,” I said.

“It’s a superior product,” she said. “But you’d be far better off with a machine with a grinding action, really.”

“I don’t really drink that much coffee, just on weekends.”

“Oh,” she said. “Well, this one would do the job then, I suppose.”

As I walked home with the more expensive machine I thought that I don’t usually fall for that kind of thing. If I’d bought the fifty-five dollar machine and it only lasted for a few years and then bought another one, I would have been better off than with the more expensive machine, which may, or may not, last any longer.

So, I paid twenty-five dollars for the cafetiére and one hundred and five for the grinder. Somehow doesn’t seem right. 

Morning Miss.

I think I am feeling *somewhat* better today... Which is better than feeling like crap I guess!

So far, no mood swings, anyways!

If I *do* make it to D's I shall give you a tingle and see where you're at.

xTom

Oh yes, I *do* have that money you lent me all those weeks ago. ☺

Thanks!

Tom

buy an espresso maker ☺

Tom

Mark and Luke arrived about 6pm.

We went to Vibe for dinner. We sat outside until some absolute nuff-nuff’s came and sat next to us. She was so fat and not wearing a bra under her black t-shirt and her titts literally were rolled under her arms into her armpits, like children wrestling under a blanket. He had scabs on his face and the other guy was so nondescript, he blended into the concrete grey footpath. She rocked a baby in a pram that’s wheels squeaked every time she pushed it. She was talking about someone who owed her twenty-five dollars and how she was going to set up her whole house with that money. We moved inside and had that same discussion about how there really are people in the world who are a waste of space, I know that sounds terrible, but really, they are just wasting precious, and non-renewable, resources. It’s awful, but true. The poor bastard kid just didn’t have a hope – he could be so lucky, but just wasn't. The dumb people are breeding and the cycle repeats.

I came home and washed the Rover, it was filthy.

Mark came home and spent most of the time on gaydar trying to arrange accommodation for their trip to Italy. There’s something a little weird – off – about Mark spending all of his time organising (sexual or not) accommodation for his and Luke’s trip overseas on gaydar on my computer when he comes to my place.

Luke rolled joints and he and I watched a George Clooney and Nicole Kidman movie, The Peacemaker. I think it was the first time the television had been on since Queer as Folk on Monday night.

I wanted to go to Manny’s, so I waited until Mark and Luke left for J’s fortieth in Prahran, which was what they were hanging around for, before I headed to Ascot Vale, at approx 11pm.

I was supposed to call Manny by 10pm, but didn’t until 11.15. Apparently, he left seven messages for me, he told me not to listen to them, I haven’t yet. He can become very determined.

My phone battery ran out when I was chatting to mum and I plugged it into charge without turning it on again. I must stop doing that, but I was thinking about unhooking the internet so I could call her on the other phone. Woops.

Manny and I had great sex. He’s so sexy.

 

Good night, Good Morning Too ☺

Good Night, Good Morning Too ☺

Shucks!!! thanks ... I'm all gooey!!! 

Tim

Morning Christian.

How are you?

I'm still sick, though not too sick to go to work.

What are you doing this weekend?

xTom

This weekend, it's funny you should mention it, I was only just thinking about it on my walk into work.

Do I go to the country or in the city do I stay? Which b/f will take my fancy away? Do I retreat to the open spaces or do I encourage a little city play. Where would the action be that would most suit my tastes? Who's eyes do I want to gaze into? Who's going to slip into my arms? Who's going to entice me and beguile me saying it is here that they want me to stay? I guess the answer is encapsulated in these words on display. So you work it out my sweet, but I think I can see which plan I must obey.

christian

staying in town then?

big smile

Tom

As the sun shone through the clouds, after a rainy morning, I puffed on a cigarette and contemplated.

My perfect guy would be my height, he'd have nice chest, he’d walk a certain way. He wouldn't have to have muscles, but he'd be in shape. He'd be kind of scruffy; in other words, he'd be less concerned with his appearance than he would be with being comfortable. Daggy maybe, in a sophisticated way.

He'd have an opinion, he'd have something to say. 

A nice smile and/or laugh would go a long way.

He'd most probably be dark, but not necessarily, blond is okay. He'd have a job, or at least something to do. Hopefully, he'd have an interest in the arts, even if he wasn't personally involved. 

He'd be sarcastic. He'd be funny. He'd suffer no fools. He'd love gardening. He'd love cars. He'd love cats and dogs. 

He wouldn't give a damn about fashion, he'd just set it in a very nonchalant way.

He'd be old enough to have a few scars, there's beauty in them, I say.

But most of all he'd be kind and he'd be sweet and he'd be as honest as the day is long.

so, staying in melbourne then ☺

Tom

I think you should get a dog...but hey, nothing compares to being woken by four children!!!

We'd come over and play with it, you could get one of those little white fluffy things just in case no one knows you're a big poof...its kinda like advertising really...you'll pick up a wide variety of men by just walking down the street with it on a lead. In fact just go buy a powder puff and attatch it to a lead and you'll get the same results plus benefits of it not smelling like a dog, no shitting, eating or going to the vet. No puppy training, no puddles on the floor....oh do I need to go on?

I am way too tired to be of help in the dog choosing dept. BUT the woman next door has a gorgeous staffordshire bitch and she's going to be letting her have a litter of puppies!!! THAT would be sooooooo cute. Little poo's to pick up too!! But they smell.... wonder if anyone has crossed a staffy with a poodle or a Beddlington. I'm full of ideas today. I shouldn't be cos I have had 2 very late nights in a row chatting to g/f's in Adelaide. Then having to get up and do the whole school routine it’s a bit much! Hope I actually put sandwiches in their lunch boxes..........

You need to come babysit for me next week too (please) let me know what day is good for you and I'll see what I can organise.

Why am I not talking to you on the phone? I'm tired, that's right, brain won't function till I have digested this cup of coffee and speaking of digestion I think I have a packet of 'choccy digestives' in the cupboard... couldn't find jaffa cakes anywhere but when I do I'll be sure to let you know (with a phone call and a rattle of the empty packet)

I'm getting mean so will go

Ciao

Rachel

How are ya Christian?

Wotcha doing?

I've been drifting in and out of sleep all day, and my fever is currently gone...

Mum and Dad have gone to Pillock Island, and I feel like I should be naughty?

Sad sad sad.

xTom

Naughty miss?

What degree of naughtiness are we talking?

christian

yeah not really a chance of that to tell the truth not into sharing my diseases these days anyways

Tom

now i'm wondering if'n you want to play

Tom

What?

christian

you heard

Tom

I heard all right, doll. But I don't understand what you are trying to say?

PS. Luke called and asked if I'd go halves in a quarter and I said no, with only a minor hesitation. Good? Huh?

christian

i meant i wondered for a second if u wanted to be naughty too

dont worry miss I’m just delirious

Tom

Delirious would be a good look out at a bar...well, maybe it would be the norm. He, he.

christian

what do you think of the idea of killing the flu by dumping shitloads of speed into my system

Tom

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

christian

Oh, how predictable MISSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

christian

Surprise me then, why don't you?

christian

Doll, you've just got to get out more

christian

Expand your interests

christian

See the world

christian

You know, not through a gauze fog

christian

Doll! Really?

christian

critical cunt

critical cunt

Tom

Did you get anxious and hit the send button twice.

I screamed with laughter, and nearly fell off my chair, when I saw this.

He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, He, he, he, he, he., he, he, 

christian

I do hope that the silence isn't an indication that Mr. Sense of Humour has deserted one?

christian

Clearly Tom is pissed off with me.

10pm. 

I headed out the door to go over to Manny’. The bloody car conked out at Brunswick and Gertrude streets.

I finally got it going and got it home.

Manny and I talked dirty on the phone, both of us with hard-ons lying on our respective couches.

Manny said I love you heaps, as we hung up.

I said, I love you too. It just came out. 

I’m home on my own and I want to be wrapped up in Manny’ arms. I’m home alone. He’s home alone. Bugger.

I think when I get really really cross its time for me to have a nap.

I'm somewhat more cheery now.

xTom

Well, at least that makes one of us.

I was heading off to Manny' and my conked it at he corner of Brunswick and Gertrude Streets. It took me ages to get it going. I bought it home, it seemed to go okay. So I called Manny and then I had another go at it. The car died half way down my street. Again it took me ages to get it going. So now me and it are at home again. 

Manny is home alone. I'm home alone. Bugger, I wish I was cuddling him. We can't talk on the phone without getting hardons. Bugger, bugger, bugger.

I'm sorry if I upset you, I thought we were just kidding around.

Luke is on gaydar, don't tell him (under any circumstances) who I am. I don't want him to know. I want to stay that much anonymous. I'm out of cigarettes and it's pouring with rain. 

Christian

Tom called me after this to say that he’d never tell Luke my gaydar profile. I almost feel disloyal asking him and I should be able to let Luke know who I am on gaydar, but the truth is that I like to be anonymous when I’m on there. I don’t want to tell anyone, otherwise I’d have face shots in my general profile. Tom worked out who I was himself, when I was in chat and there was a discussion about red-heads. He picked it was me when I said they smelled funny. And you know, Luke’s not stupid, he even checked out my profile last night, although he didn’t message me. I took Fitzroy out of my profile, otherwise, I’m sure, there would have been a great likelihood that Luke would work out who I am too.

Tom said he was going to send Luke a dirty message.

I should sign off and stop wasting my time.

You know, I may just have to review my policy of not sending the automated message (There is a little part of me that feels like I have failed whenever I do) as I just end up being inundated with messages to the point where I throw my hands up in the air and scream, Enough, enough, enough all ready!

christian

Then Ride/butt messages me... and there's nothing else for it

christian

Then there's B/man. (what is it?) :P

christian

I would fight anyone to have a turn of him!

Tom

Assume the defensive position!

christian

hahaha

check out nastyboy

and also kensingboy is an old root of mine who is coming to melb – might need a room at yr place?

Tom

Yum to nastyboy!

Yum to Kensingboy too!

christian

yes to the room for a root if needed???

pssst u can watch if u like ☺

Tom

Who gets to root him for the room?

I can watch? He can stay anytime he likes.

christian

Night.

christian

good night, good morning too ☺

Tom

It Poured Down With Rain, Freakishly So

Morning Christian.
Sorry about last night, I'm rather ill and not at my best, and tales of teasing boys just didn’t seem to do it for me.
I hope you have a beautiful day.
xTom


Take a pill, doll!
Take a couple.
christian


I was counselling a red-haired boy from Cranbourne, last night, who wanted to come over but was wary of what his b/f might say. I had been chatting to a taught army boy from Watsonia, who was very keen to hook up. And also a cute guy down from Sydney. My head spun. I hadn’t heard from Manny. I asked Tom his opinion of what I should do, Cranbourne boy, or wait for Manny to call?

I told Tom that I’d tell Manny that Tom advised me, said I should... and so... then I had to. Tom said he didn’t care. I told him Manny would be upset and that he’d hate Tom for it. Tom said he didn’t care and then he cracked the shits claiming tiredness and said he was going to bed.

Oh, you are no fun, I thought.


Moody
Three even.
Tom


That’s the spirit!
Big smile
christian


antibiotics
panadeine forte
vitamin c
ecchinaccea
and maybe a lazy quarter of a valium
big smile back
Tom


Hi Christian,
Hope we left the house ok – let me know if there was anything else. I paid the bills when I was there yesterday as well.
I left my fitness first keyring – may come and pick it up on the weekend if thats ok?
Tim


Tim
Everything was just lovely. Thanks.
Of course, you can come and get your fitness first key ring. You can come over any time you like. It would always be nice to see you.
See ya then buddy.
christian


Thanks. And also thanks for letting me live there – had a great time… As soon as we get a dining table we will have you over for dinner. Terry is away Sunday so I might pop in then – will call you before though.
Kiss kiss
Tim


That’s my pleasure. I loved living with you, it was always a joy. And if you ever need somewhere to live… actually, let’s not wish being single on you at this point. You are such a great guy.
I’ll look forward to dinner… and maybe Sunday.
christian


I went to mum’s for dinner. It poured down with rain, freakishly so, so they said. Auburn Road was chokers to Barkers Road. The brakes on my car played up a little. I don’t know if they were wet – all though they couldn’t have been very – like the ABS was slipping. As I got further down Auburn Road, the front yards were white and covered in hail, as though it had snowed. The low point down near the freeway must have gone under, as there were emergency vehicles all around and the road was blocked by them. Fred and I wound our way through the back streets to get home to mum. Lucky I grew up around there.

I went to Coles at Victoria Gardens on the way home. The loneliness of the vast spaces of a big quiet car park, all empty is palpable. The concrete of the urban jungle, marked and define as to where you may go, chilling, in away. No human contact, just concrete barriers, fluro lights and painted lines

I was home calling Manny at 11pm.


Rachel
I've been looking after Fred for the last couple of days and boy aren't they different to cats. It's quite a spin out when I come home or let him in, in the mornings. Bloody hell, talk about hard work. Bounce, bounce, run, jump, pant, pant, pant. Yay, yippee, you're home, or you're awake. WAY TO GO!
And cats... oh, you're here. Hmmm? I see my food bowl is still empty though. Hmmm, maybe I'll see you later.
Living on my own is glorious. If I thought it was going to be a permanent thing, maybe, just maybe, I'd relent and get a dog. Maybe? But what sort? It's good that I don't have to seriously give it any thought.
How's everything in Cheltenham?
christian

Gay/Dah

Goodness Miss.

Hope this finds you feeling well...

I've got a nose chokka with snot and aren't feeling the best - thank the goddess that I didn't have any twitch on the weekend...

Hmmm, I *have* been offered free tix to Beyond, was wondering if u wanted to go halves in some Cialis actually....

xTom

I don't think I'm going to answer. I think I want to be a little mysterious. I seem to want to hermit myself away from everyone, at the moment, not sure why. Ditch them all. I think I'm going to withdrawal.

Tom

I'm good. Lovely Wednesday.

No thanks to the cialis. I only want it when Tina is around.

christian

Although, I think the secret to withdrawing is not to make a big deal about it. If I suddenly shut down all communication that is a huge statement in itself. Be polite, answer emails, nicely and succinctly.

Remind me to tell you about g/dar later and Cal75. Ooops. I wish I hadn't opened that profile. But at least now I know and I won't open it again. First time I've bumped into the boyfriends on g/dar.

Tom was on too. I hope he didn't blab to the other two what my handle is. If Luke or Mark ask me who Chriso is, my reply will be Woody Allen's son. Quizzical look. Elizabeth Taylor's daughter, you know, the one with AIDS. Look of shock.

I logged onto gaydar to chat to Tom. I didn’t know if he was on, I just assumed.

From Chriso. 18.43

You’re always on here, doll. You must waste half your life in here. Deep down in the bizzaro nether world of gay.

From Chriso. 18.48

Clear nights (no dope), smelly things, (some bitch who didn’t douche) punching someone out and stomping on rats.

From Chriso 18.49

I know, I know, don`t mock me bitch!

Hah wasting my time on gaydar indeed!

Who are you to say I'm wasting it?

How do you know when I'm on here!!!

Oh, I couldn’t Instant Message back, I've run out ☺

Tom

I don't do that anymore, the *click* went off somehow.

Haven't you read my profile????

christian

Couldn't instant message back because you've run out... I rest my case.

(I have a cat and dog intensely vying for my attention. Swat, swat. Away!)

christian

Oh...yes, I have, but not for a while.

christian

Manny seems to have disappeared off the radar... but move my young...er...Athenian friend. Where's H/boy when I need him. He seemed nice.

christian

From Chriso19.07

Where might Pillock (surely it would have a capital letter?) Island be?

From Chriso19.07

John1977 looks so hot in his initial photo!

From Chriso19.08

Is this too many messages, doll?

From Chriso19.08

I think I`m in a very silly mood, all of a sudden

From Chriso 19.08

Did you get all of those, doll?

From Chriso19.09

I bet you thought I’d finished, hey?

From Chriso 19.09

Hoped maybe?

we don’t have to capitalise in gaydar Miss.

Do you mean ya BF Manny, or the very sexy Christos that's in chat right now??

Tom

Er...I meant B/F...um...sexy Christos in chat? Hmmm! That sounds good. Or should I say he...

christian

well u should its scintillating

Tom

From Chriso 19.06

Where`s that skany photographer when I need him. Some fat cow with a camera who wants to come over and take photos. I soooooo need new photos... do you think it is worth the risk? Although, if Mr Christos would come back from wherever, I wouldn`t need fatty with the digital. What do ya reckon?

yes and a good shag too I have heard – don’t ask me how...

Tom

How?

christian

reading as I type, doll...er...mate!

christian

u know it drives me nuts that i cant answer back

Tom

yes john1977 looks fucking gorgeous

6'5" tho

Tom

H/boy went over to dipryan's house he gave him a glowing report

ALRIGHT yes I have spent too much time on gaydar!

Tom

Yeah, H/boy seemed very keen last night... but the funny thing is, I'd feel unfaithful. So I just come on here to play and talk to you, of course. My beautiful man will turn up eventually. He went to help his ex-boyfriend move house, two days ago. Just can't trust them ex-b's, that's what I reckon.

christian

From Chriso 19.25

Do you think I should tell t/white that he should never wear matching co-ordinates, especially in mauve!

yes!!!!!!!!

tell him i dare ya!

Tom

if there's anyone u can trust its him come into chat if u want i invite youse

Tom

And now I'm free to suck your blood!

christian

I'm not good in chat...besides, you don't like me in there anyway.

christian

Talking of cute, affirmation. Yum! (What is it): P. I'd never dare to message him, but.

christian

It's funny how i shy away from boys who don't practise safe sex, and yet I have never a second thought about Manny' status

christian

Woof!!!!!! to affirmation. Just my type. (Do you know I nearly messaged him, just in the nick of time did I realise I was in the wrong profile) Big smile

christian

you know i love youse in chat – I only don’t like it when u pick on me

Tom

Tom and I chatted on gaydar for hours – 6.30pm to 11pm. (What a waste of time, hey?) But he got the shits in the end because I was teasing him and snitted off to bed.

I lay on the couch and read my earliest journal. I think it’s quite good.

I was in bed at midnight.

I Cleaned. I Read the Newspapers. I Grouted the Bathroom Floor

Hi – its me – Sorry for not getting back there on the weekend – Terry got called out for a 3dayer..... He gets back later today. Is it ok if we come round tonight and clean up?

Tim

Yeah sure, of course that's fine. How was your long weekend?

christian

It was really good – I slept a lot – when I finally did

Tim

Hey Christian.

How was your Australia day?

Mine was lovely, spent it at Perry's cuddling Josh O’Grady, and then had Kym Davidson and Erica and Beau over for a BBQ.

It was noice.

Was Josh O’Grady looking better than the last time you saw him?

Perry raved about how much he loved seeing you btw.

xTom

Tom

I cleaned. I read the newspapers. I grouted the bathroom floor.

Josh looked fine. He's always looked fine to me.

christian

Yes, Muffin replied something about flower power rules.....

Shane

Pencil you in for Thursday.

Wrote it for a forty-year-olds birthday

Teddy

Teddy

That would be lovely.

Can you call me Thursday morning, I just know my week is going to be completely thrown because of the long weekend. 9672 xxxx

Why are people replacing the full stop with the hyphen, in emails particularly? Have you noticed that?

I liked your story, it inspired me to pull out one that I started six months ago.

christian

Story needs work, but I'm proud of myself in pushing a few of my own boundaries. Will call tomorrow.

And people replace proper punctuation with hyphens because they don't know how to punctuate.

Teddy

Hows yr quiet house Miss?

Tom

Hey christian.

Are you out tonight?

Hope you had a good one Missy!

I've got a cold!

xTom

I lay on the couch in my clean, tidy house, with one lamp on and read my new Wheels magazine from cover to cover.

I went to bed at midnight. 

That Floaty Alone-In-The-World Kind Of Feeling

I am up at 9am. Why can’t I sleep 'in' anymore? It is a mystery?

Manny is off to help Michael move today.

Tim hasn’t been to clean, he said he’d come yesterday. But, apparently, he and Terry have been doing drugs since the house warming. Tom said that if Terry was going to, seemingly, be putout that Tim did speed Friday night and then not go to work and do drugs after we all left, he could have at least been gracious about other people doing speed at the house warming, instead of being sour-faced and un-welcoming. It would be very interesting if Terry lost his job, hey? (But then as pretty and big-dicked as Terry, supposedly, is, he is always the sour one)

I hope they don’t come over today to clean, I think I’m going to have a hermit day. The aloneness shivered up my spine as Etta James sings. A very quiet and still day, all my energies are restricting, I can feel them tight on my skin. That floaty alone-in-the-world kind of feeling settles on me like a mist.

And there is still the grouting.

I miss Mark and Luke.

Perhaps, I should put a cd on and have a sing.

I can’t complain.

Somebody make me laugh somebody make me cry.

I refuse to be lonely.

Stop the world I want to get off.

The house is tidy, I’ve got it how I want it. I don’t care when I live with other people, I can live in clutter, it doesn’t matter. I don’t see any reason to stress over something I can’t control. And I don’t see why I should clean up other people’s mess. But now it’s just me, it’s tidy like how I would keep it. I’ve dusted. I’ve chucked stuff out. I’ve put things back where they should be. There is lots more crap to dispose of, but all in good time.

Find some where for it, or throw it out. Don’t just shove it in a cupboard and slam the door, like everyone else is so fond of doing when they clean up around here.

Actually, could we do Thursday or Friday – Weds I have off and will be racing all over town, so I have no idea where I will be at what time.

Hope you had a great long weekend – I've been writing – find the results attached – it's not pretty, so you have been warned. Written for a friend for his birthday 9yeah, I know, some friend)

teddyxx

Teddy

Thursday or Friday is fine with me.

I'll give, The clearing house, a read.

I always wanted to be a writer... oh that's right, I am. I remember.

christian

First Pot In How Many Weeks?

I dreamt that I was in bed and Terry was lying next to me on his stomach, his sexy arse pushed up against my leg. I slip my hand onto his arse and felt the roundness of his cheeks and the cotton of his jocks. My finger hooked onto the elastic and pulled it sideways. The tip of my finger slipped into his crack and found his warm hole. As I applied pressure he wiggled gently so my finger slid into him, his seal opened and my finer worked it’s way into him slightly. He wiggled again so it could go further into him. It was dry and not sliding in too far. I kept pushing, he kept pushing against me. I removed my finger and ran the tip under my nose and wet it in my mouth. The wet tip gently pushed into him. He moaned.

“Oh…what are you doing?” My finger pushed further into him. “That feels nice.” He rolled over and lay there with an enormous erection. “It feels nice, I want you inside me. But we can’t.” He smiled.

I dreamt that Manny was walking out of the garden I was working in. He walked along the footpath where two guys punched him and called him a faggot. A friend Andy Darling ran to his defence, as Manny ran to me and I held him in my arms. The two homophobes grabbed Andy and held him out flat in mid air and drove a cold chisel into his back. We ran to get help and met Lauri coming out of the milk bar in a salmon coloured hand knitted jumper and a beanie.

“I was just coming over to see you,” Lauri said.

I woke up and it was 6am from my dreams. (I’m going to have to start smoking dope again to hush the night voices in my head. It’s been a couple of weeks with no dope now) I went to the toilet and as I did I heard the front door, so I went down and chatted to Tom for a minute. He nearly got it on with Mark Windsor in the dark at 80 before they realised who each other were. (Secretly, I think those two want to get it on)

I went back to bed and woke at 9am.
Mmmm! Wild berry muesli. I deviate from Uncle Toby’s just occasionally.
I cleaned the oven. The cooking fat on the cook-top and the dust from where Mark replaced the tiles had combined to the consistency of crumbed fish. Orange Power is really good stuff, Stella (Watson) is right. It all just dissolves.

Then I head over to mums to cut her grass. We eat lunch and go and fill her car up with petrol for her trip to Eltham. I’m not at all sure if her driving to Eltham is a good idea. I don’t think anything bad will happen to her but I can see her getting lost. It’s sad old age, not recommended from my point of view. We drive over to Balwyn to look at X Avenue, to give the battery time to charge.

I leave Tom at home asleep. When I get back he is gone, visiting as the note he left said.

Apparently, Shane had his house warming. I didn’t answer his email or give him my mobile phone number. (Funny, my home phone number has been the same for going on fourteen years.) Good thing too, it looks like I just missed out on that by the skin of my teeth, hey?

I came home and read the newspapers and played with my plants. Manny called, he wanted me to go over there. I should have gone really, but I was stuffed, happy on the couch in the dimming light.

Tom arrived late from Keith’s and suggested we go over to Perry & Wesley’s... for a joint. We went over after 10pm. Josh O’Grady was over from Adelaide on his way back to London. Josh’s co-dependent without his dependant and he wanted Tom to go around for a cuddle.

We smoked pot and talked. (First pot in how many week?)

Perry & Wesley had been to Shane’s house warming also. Apparently, it was a big affair.
When Perry glanced over to me as if waiting for my comment,
I replied, My grandmother always said that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.
Everyone drew in breath and laughed, but I didn't say anything.
I left when the spa was hot. I got home at 2am. I had to get up and do the grouting.

I Laughed As I Sat Up In Bed And Said “Wow,” Out Loud

I dreamt that we operated a country retreat in a part of the country that was green and beautiful with undulating hills and hedgerows. It was next to an RSL meeting ground. Everything went along okay until we put a sign out advertising our guesthouse. The problem was that the RSL had some sort of traditional caveat over signage, that it was not to block or anyway interfere with the RSL’s property, a right that they guarded with the tenacity, and blind belief that-they-were-right, of the good uber-conservative, god fearing people that they were. They insisted that we removed the sign, which was next to a row of hedging and which could not have blocked anything they did. They insisted that we remove it, sending over the chiefs of their establishment, one by one, to insist on their rights. Kind of evil Amish meets middle Australia. Good, pig ignorant, ultra conservative, closed-minded, pasty-faced, god is on our aside, quietly frighteningly fanatical fundamentalists.

After we refused and asked them, nay insisted, they get off our property, they cut off all communication, refusing to even acknowledge our existence if we tried to engage them and called in lawyers. The lawyers laughed but they ignored that and insisted on their rights with a steely determination that would have stopped Hitler forming the Third Richet. Unfortunately, they interpreted their rights as if we were wrong and they were right and they blindly went about the process of having the sign removed with no other outcome ever being entertained.

Somehow we knew that if they couldn’t get the signs removed lawfully that the sign would be destroyed, as is the way with conservative types; if the law wouldn’t remove it, they would resort to war. The sign was going to be removed one way or the other, we knew that.

I laughed as I sat up in bed and said “Wow,” out loud.

I laughed, as I made coffee in the kitchen, entertaining the thought of inviting the Gay and Lesbian community to hold their fair day on our land.

I’ve woken up with a headache too. I think it is from the small amount of alcohol that I drank at Tim and Terry’s house warming last night. I don’t think I can drink alcohol any more, any alcohol.

SMS. 10.30am. My GOD that was a fantastic fuck. He is the best in the kip I’ve come across for a while – Tom

I went and got the grout for the bathroom. When the guy said it was five dollars I replied only five dollars. He said yes. If you had told me it was thirty-five dollars I would have paid it, no questions asked. And I would have. Now you tell me he replied.

I went to the supermarket and then I came home. I still hadn’t shaken my headache so about 2pm I went to bed. I woke around 7pm.

I put on music and made my soup. To dice & cube a kilo of carrots, a bunch of celery and two green peppers it took me an hour and a half. I thought that was a long time, you know, turtle me – as Auntie Olive used to call me – but I checked with Sean and he said that wasn’t too bad. I didn’t care anyway, I had Regina Bell and then Patti on, in my newly claimed for-myself house and I sang as I cooked. It was glorious.

I chatted to Manny, he was having an OCD locked away in his house kind of day, so I couldn’t coax him over. He’d been sticking pins in his pimples.

Tom arrived around 10pm and we drank soup together. He’d been to see his friend Keith. I said that now Tim had moved out I could have sex with Tony. Tom agreed but he said that Tim would still be cross.

So? I thought. He’d forgive me, eventually. Besides – Terry can have the biggest cock in the world – Tim has said that Tony’s cock is one of the most beautiful he’s ever seen. And if I know my Italian boys…

Manny called (to see where I was) and I suggested a threesome with Tony. What would happen if he didn’t like me, said Manny.

Tom and I looked at each other when I repeated this.

Who wouldn’t like Manny, said Tom in amazement.

I headed to Manny’ at 11pm and Tom headed to Club 80.

Honey... I'm dripping and drooling everywhere! There is a God.... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Thanks for thinking of me...so kind.......

love as always David X

I got home around 3am and felt slightly nervous as I went to bed. I wondered if I was, in fact, going to enjoy living on my own. 

Prolapsed Arse

Mornin' (Tom)

I just got caught perving on a wogboy in the newsagent by a middle-aged woman doing her tattslotto. She looked kind of embarrassed because she'd recognised what I was doing. She looked away and then she looked back at me and tried not to smile, but she kind of did. I looked away and tried not to smile, but then we looked at each other and then she looked at him and back at me and we both tried not to smile. It was very funny.

Anyway. It's lovely living on my own. He, he, he. I could so get used to it. However...

See ya tonight. Now, what was that address again?

christian

Morning ☺

I can forward you the address.

Tom

I don’t have it!

I'll mail him, and call a bit later if he isn’t at work

get back to ya

Tom

No, don't worry. I have it at home.

christian

Okay I may have to call you later to get it if I’m not already there...

Big smile

Tom

Mark and Luke arrived just I was getting ready to depart for Tim’s, they were off to the pictures. We went to the Union and had dinner first. I so wanted to ditch Tim and go with them, but I couldn’t in this instance, Tim’s house warming and all. I would have if it had been anything else. I felt sad not to be going with them as I drove down Language Street.

Tim’s new place is really nice, set in a deco block of flats with a leafy garden out the front. It is spacious and white with polished boards.

Terry was being the snotty little brat he can be, well, to Tom, anyway. I’m not sure if he was snotty to me; it’s hard to tell with Terry. Maybe he’s just got it in for Tom, for Tom’s invasion – in Terry’s mind – of our place. It doesn’t make any sense, but Terry’s young, as there was always going to be another person living here. The whole bathroom situation didn’t help, with Tom being in the top room, the only room with a shower at the time. But Terry seems to totally ignore Tom now.

As we were kissing goodbye, Tom said to Tim, “Are you in love?”

“Of course I am”, replied Tim to Tom. Tom told me later that he was going to tell Tim to ditch Terry, if Tim had given any other answer – as if he would have Tom – or if he’d hesitated for a second.

Kip was there, but as soon as I got there his troll of a sister had a psycho-drama about her Chihuahua (tiny rat dog) which, apparently, had just escaped, or had been discovered to have escaped, from Kip’s house, by none other than Julien.

“I’m going to smash up your fucking house,” said the troll sister to Kip as she descended into apoplexy about the dog. “I wanna speak to who you spoke to,” she demanded.

“Okay,” said Kip as he dialled the phone. “But be careful what you say as Julien’s in a really bad mood.”

“Jesus, that should be interesting Tom,” I said. “Do you want to drive over and watch?”

“Maybe he’s got no money for drugs on a Friday night,” said Tim as an aside.

They departed not long after, with troll sister screeching at Kip. “What are you doing, are you coming?” Kip initially said he’d stay and she could go on her own – wise choice from where I was standing – but relented in the end. She’s always a drama that girl. Trailer-trash to be sure, with her pasty skin, lank over-permed hair, pasty complexion and the Lexus she drives courtesy of her drug dealing boyfriend.

And there was Tim being his gorgeous self in the middle of all of this.

Apparently, Julien hasn’t paid any rent and the only time Sebastian – apparently, Julien is never seen – is seen is when he is carrying vials of hot water into Julien’s room. (Injecting hand movements were made as a way of explanation for the naïve)

Tom and I came home here, afterwards.

Tom went to new beau Daniel’s place.

I checked my emails.

Ohh Dear,

That is sick.... does anybody think that it might be the infamous "Treasure" who lost it all in Safeway one day???

Thank you Tom, I now have a legitimate sick feeling to go home for now.

By the way I have passed it onto Muffin.

Shane.

Hey Doll,

Have got the new house and moved in. Would love to show it to you if you want to see it. Give me a call.

My new home number is: 9429 xxxx

The address is 25 M Street, Abbotsford. M Street runs parallel with L street on the Laird side, over Hoddle Street.

Would be great to see you. I think I have lost your mobile number??

Can you give it to me again?

Love Shane.

Rightly or wrongly, I felt a bit miffed about the fact that Shane had lost my mobile phone number. It suddenly disappeared out of his mobile phone? Please! So I didn’t answer this email. Silly really, let the distance stay, I thought. Just for the moment.

Shane and David “Muffin” Gioncallis

Apparently, Treasure is now happy and…er...well and living in Adelaide.

I bet you David got a bona over that one. Floopy, floopy.

 

We Started Kissing In The Kitchen As Soon As I Got There

Miss!

They were really really good, and I must say, my date, a man named Daniel who hunted me down through Gaydar, is exceptional too.

Great apartment in st kilda, lovely funny flatmate, very interesting friends – I was going to meet him tonight, but when he heard they had a spare Moloko ticket, he thought, what the hey, even if I was a complete moron at least he would have given me a chance to see my beloved Moloko.

Well, I wasn't a complete moron, we got on like a house on fire, and I struggled into Dingley at 7am, 5 hours sleep and the smell of his bum on my weener.

Yummy.

A Tiny Twitch with an Easy Elizabeth, help out a first date to be sure, but I had really good time.

Anyhoo Smiss, I shall speak to you soon.

xTom

Hey guys some "hot" pix for you... You simply MUST see this!!!!

http://gaydar.com.au/jwaaxxxx

If you want to have a play with him, you'll have to get in line! I think the embalmer was first!

And the attachment too! Hmmm, a case for eating meat I say!

Sorry if I've put you off forever.

Evilly yours, Tom

I went to mum’s for diner, with Gill. I left early, as Gill was staying the night I went to Manny’s. We started kissing in the kitchen as soon as I got there. Manny usually stops such instantaneous fooling around, but I kept on and he did too and we ended walking backwards to the bedroom almost as soon as I got there.

I was so comfortable on the couch with him afterwards and I could have easily curled up and stayed, but it was a school might.

I spoke to George while I was there. Greek boy on one side and a Greek boy on the other – end of the phone, sure.

Guy's who are over weight and smelly and have bad teeth are not his type? Jasus! Fuck me dead! Or not! I think I'm going to be sick now.

Thanks for that.

I'm glad I've just had sex and am not considering it, thank you Tom.

christian

That, quite possibly, is the foulest thing I have EVER seen!

I'm too scared to look at the attachment, after that.

christian

Hey Christian.

Now you're home alone, in that big ol' house... Have you stolen into the shower yet, surreptitiously soaped yourself, and maybe had a whizz into the dunny?

I hope so!

And dont get lonely, I'm only a phone call away ☺

Love Tom

mmm next time I want to watch

Tom

mmm, we were good!

christian

Tom

I haven't showered yet, but I've taken a good many dumps – my floaty pooh being what it is in the downstairs dunny.

I must admit that it felt different coming home. I didn't feel the joyous rapture that I thought I would – not really, seriously. There was a certain aloneness, a certain feeling of isolation with this big o'l house just for one. But not awful, not depressing, alone but not lonely. There was a kind of feeling of being removed from everything around. A cocoon, my cocoon, if you like. I don't know, the jury is still out on whether I'd like to live alone. We'll see. Well, actually, we won't see, as my bank balance won't allow it. But it'll be nice to experience it for a short time, none the less. I'm lucky, in the sense, that I don't mind being in the house on my own. I don't get scared unless I have an attack of the stoned paranoia's. I can function quite well here on my own. In fact, in a strange kind of way, I think it would make me more social and less hermit like, as I'd get plenty of me time.

Just me and the purr monster at my feet. It's he who doesn't like it when nobody is home.

The house would be different if it was just me. I know people scoff, but it would be tidier – my bedroom withstanding – things would be in their place.

I haven't lived on my own for a long time...er...what am I saying, I have never lived on my own.

christian

yes you're right Christian a lot of people would laugh hearing you say the house would be tidier...

But now here's your chance to know for yourself, even for just a minute...or a week… or lets face it a month...

Glad you're enjoying the alone-ness. Everybody should live alone once, and you are doing that.

*lick*

Tom

 

Gay Youth

Happy days

passionate and confusing days

embarrassing, touching days,

if only I could have imagined being happy.

Hold my hand, come find me,

I'm yours for the taking

I could have been won over

so, so easily.

Give me your hand

be brave

you be mine

I'll be yours. 

Regret

I put my hands in my pockets

and looked at my feet.

I felt the wind on my face,

and felt all my yesterdays

shiver up my spine

as I stood very still.

 

The Best Me is Now

The best me is now, I'm sorry for what has been.

This should be the part of the story where the good guy comes, sparkle in his eye, a brave smile, knowing what he wants and how to get it, and steals my heart away. It's ready now, I'm ready to meet him. Where is he... now? I've been waiting a long time.

I'm standing tall and straight, eyes open wide, I know exactly what to say. I'd know him now, I'd be brave. I am all of those things, I'm the best man I've ever been. Working straight out of the box, so he would find out. I don't need any more training, just some loving. I'd fall into his arms, I wouldn't run away.

The soft piano music would play, there would be angels and we could both laugh, holding each other's hands, as we chased them away. I wouldn't let go, if he promised not to too. But no promises there wouldn't be any need for those, redundant they'd be, as rules of how to play. We'd know them all ready. They'd be given, easy as the wind on the ocean and the twilight in the sky.

Fingers together. Eyes locked on eyes. If we felt like it we'd cry. Tears of joy, for fear of touching because we'd never let go.

Who are you, come out and play. Show me. I'm good enough, to be the best me. What are you doing? What would you say? I'll close my eyes and do what I'm doing and when I look up to see that group pass by, that man laugh, that child cry, I'll look the other way and you'll be there.

Wog Boys

When I make comments regarding Italians I, of course, am not talking about them Northern blondie types (spit to the ground) No siree Bob! (practically Scandinavian in my way of thinking) I'm talking black hair, olive skin, dark eyes, smouldering looks. The types who's great grandmothers were raped by the Turks.

Them dark hooded-worms with minds of their own still get me where I live. Oompa, Oompa! That fine turn of cheek, both upper and lower, that an Italian boy masters from the age of, now let me see, a young Italian man has a peculiar beauty not found in any other race on God's earth. That fine bone structure, that twinkle of eye, that trouser monster type of walk... Italian girls must be the luckiest bitches on this earth. No wonder they're always smiling with the genes in their men folk's jeans.

"Wop it to me again, TONY! Put them thick, hairy thighs to good use!"

All I'll say is, GOD LOVE THEM WOG BOYS. Ma nature knew what she was doing when she made them. I just want to roll around in the mould like a sweaty little piggy on heat. Where do you think the original wog boy mould would be kept? Mount Sinai? Like a mummy case transformed into a club for one. Could you imagine being inside one of them and floating around in their juices? Drenching every pore, curing what ails ya. (Like a sexual Being John Malcovitch) Amyl anyone? He, he, he.

I know, I know, I've heard that it is about to be classified as a mental illness. Right behind foreskin insistence. (Give me none of those pasty skinned befreckled Frenchy types. A stand must be taken!)

But that being said, I am taken right now with all things Athenian... his stomach is flat, he has those beautiful lines marking out each side of his abdomen. Black hair, green eyes, olive skin. Yum! His torso flowers into the most beautiful chest I have ever seen; stomach and chest covered in the downy hair, natch. His nipples are like strawberries and with one tug his eyes glaze over and his heat, intensity, bumps up many notches. His face flushes a gorgeous pink and his eyes turn all dewy as his lips part gently to receive mine. As he lays on top of me and we kiss and our hard cocks rub together, as his abs gently caress mine (I wish) sometimes my breath is clean taken away.

He smells good, he tastes good, he's so very good.

And apparently, he only has eyes for him...um...me. So there you go.

Which brings us to a little history lesson, namely the daughter of emperor Augustus, Julia the Elder. She bedded half the virile youths of first-century Rome. Now there's a girl to be admired. Imagine all those togas and Roman sausage. If you laid them out end to end, I wonder how many kilometres they would cover? It makes me fair shiver just thinking about it. Apparently, her life time tally is recorded at 80,000 young (Italian) men. I think I need a lie down.

 

It's Always Forever

I've had an Alex

I've had an Anthony

I've had a Mark

I've even had a Ted, for God's Sake!

It was the most uncomfortable moment in my life.

Now I want a picket fence

and a dog

and one man I can call my own

whose had an Alex, an Anthony and a Mark.

Whose ready to stop running and chasing and live.

Luckiest Man in the World

I'm the luckiest man in the world. I have been loved and am loved by so many.

Cherish that feeling, pull it over you like a quilt to keep you warm, because it isn't always promised.

All that love. Breath. Stares. Touch. So many lovers. More than I can count on two hands. It makes me who I am.  All that spit and taste. Their smell. Their touch.

Manage de Trois

And if you are the one who they are both in love with, then you get to break both of their (fucken) hearts.

Yes, it is true. Of course.

Be careful. Tread gently. There is a lot of responsibility to having two of them on a string.

And so much to gain when it is good.

Although, the gaze of two sets of in-love eyes is the most intoxicating thrill in the world.

"Jump!" Watch four feet leave the ground.

"Sit!" Watch two arses hit the deck.

"Kiss me." Feel two sets of lips and the hot breath of two mouths steam up the skin on either side of your face. What a fate. So nice. So much love, not the love of two, but the love of three.

"I'm needy." Watch them both come running.

It's true. Click your fingers. (But, of course, they have fingers to click too)

Two sets of eyes just for you.

Two hearts.

Two minds.

Two hands to hold.

One destination, be bold, life is so quick, reach out, grab hold.