Manny is Playing with Glen

Hello Christian.
How are you today?
I'm still feeling a bit tired and emotional, as if my inner compass is ever so slightly off kilter...
Well, perhaps not that slightly...
Hope your day is progressing beautifully...
xTom


Mornin'
They've all taken their we're-complete-idiots-and-we're-looking-for-someone-to-dump-on pills today. And I'm sorry but it has all been Sydney staff. Sydney people, sheesh! Never have I consistently been subject to such a bunch of rude, arrogant, whingeing, self-focused, no-hoping morons ever in my life.
Beck and I are ready to go home.
I told Beck about what you said about going back to the agency and she said that it was a good idea and that she'd be joining me.
Anyway, that's my whinge for today.
christian

SMS. 5.42PM. Guess what? U know how there’s always a Peter Rose where eva u work (except this job) well there’s 1 in my organisation. Freaky huh? – Kym

Manny is playing with Glen. What is it they say, you’ve just got to stalk someone until they give in. It must have been Glen’s strategy with Manny and it seems to have worked. Apparently, they have anxieties in common. Apparently, Glen can give Manny a good life. Glen has money, which he is happy to give Manny. He’s paying off Manny’ debts. Apparently, he is going to pay the money Manny owes me.
But there’s a payoff for all of this, Manny, I said. You’ll owe Glen big time.
He’s got lots of money, I should tell you how much. And he wants to make my life easier. He wants to look after me.
What does he get?
Lovers, Manny said. He smiled, in a test the water kind of way. My heart’s with you, but you don’t want to commit. You don’t want to commit, do you? You like it the way it is?
Yes, I like what we’ve got.
But I want to see you on the side. Secret lovers.
But that’s the bit I’m having the most trouble with, Manny. Have a lover if you want, but I don’t want to have to lie in the process.
No, we have what we have. Do you still want to see me?
Yes.
And somehow, for all of my honesty, I’m now the lie. (Is that instant karma, or what?) If Glen and Manny become lovers, I’m going to have to tell Manny that I can’t see him anymore, because it would mean going to a place that I don’t want to go to. Denying it and meeting behind Glen’s back.
I don’t think they have had sex…oh, maybe they have. Now that I think about it, Manny referred to all of that in an odd way, yesterday. Kind of non-committal. I guess I know what that means.
Apparently, Glen paid off money that Manny owed to someone else as a Xmas present. How many people do you owe money to, Manny? It makes me wonder how much of the truth that I don’t know with Manny?
I said to him that he should have added the other thousand dollars that I leant him in cash to the total that Glen is, apparently, going to pay.
I thought you gave that to me as a present, said Manny and then he laughed. It’s funny, as I wasn’t so worried about it until… it’s just the presumption.
Once I get my money back, I’m going to have to say something. I can’t see you anymore, Manny. Go and play with Glen and I hope it works out. I’ll see ya. I could share Manny – with anyone but Glen – even with Glen, but I can’t do the I-don’t-exist thing.

It’s a shame.

I wish I could commit to him – although I have, I don’t want to see anybody else. I don’t want a boyfriend just yet, not after all that’s come before this. I need to live in this world as me for a while.
I’m now talking to Manny on the phone as I type. He says he’s good. He says he feels like he’s normal today, not troubled by his OCD. He said he shaved and it took him half as long as usual.
You’re busy tomorrow night, aren’t you? said Manny. He’s never said that before, quite the opposite. So I guess that means he wants me to busy tomorrow night.
He wanted me to go over and play.

I was just thinking of going to bed myself.

I’ve just got home from diner with my mum.
It’s 10.30pm
I’m going to bed.

SMS. 10.37pm. Want to come over – Zack

My hair’s really short and back to grey. I have to die it, before I go to see Zack. If I go to see Zack? Bi-boys? They need to play up the straight side of them. I need to kiss and breath all over each other and squirm all over each other, to have sex.

It’s 10.45pm. I’m off to bed.

SMS. It’s now 11.01pm. I’m on my way.