That Floaty Alone-In-The-World Kind Of Feeling

I am up at 9am. Why can’t I sleep 'in' anymore? It is a mystery?

Manny is off to help Michael move today.

Tim hasn’t been to clean, he said he’d come yesterday. But, apparently, he and Terry have been doing drugs since the house warming. Tom said that if Terry was going to, seemingly, be putout that Tim did speed Friday night and then not go to work and do drugs after we all left, he could have at least been gracious about other people doing speed at the house warming, instead of being sour-faced and un-welcoming. It would be very interesting if Terry lost his job, hey? (But then as pretty and big-dicked as Terry, supposedly, is, he is always the sour one)

I hope they don’t come over today to clean, I think I’m going to have a hermit day. The aloneness shivered up my spine as Etta James sings. A very quiet and still day, all my energies are restricting, I can feel them tight on my skin. That floaty alone-in-the-world kind of feeling settles on me like a mist.

And there is still the grouting.

I miss Mark and Luke.

Perhaps, I should put a cd on and have a sing.

I can’t complain.

Somebody make me laugh somebody make me cry.

I refuse to be lonely.

Stop the world I want to get off.

The house is tidy, I’ve got it how I want it. I don’t care when I live with other people, I can live in clutter, it doesn’t matter. I don’t see any reason to stress over something I can’t control. And I don’t see why I should clean up other people’s mess. But now it’s just me, it’s tidy like how I would keep it. I’ve dusted. I’ve chucked stuff out. I’ve put things back where they should be. There is lots more crap to dispose of, but all in good time.

Find some where for it, or throw it out. Don’t just shove it in a cupboard and slam the door, like everyone else is so fond of doing when they clean up around here.

Actually, could we do Thursday or Friday – Weds I have off and will be racing all over town, so I have no idea where I will be at what time.

Hope you had a great long weekend – I've been writing – find the results attached – it's not pretty, so you have been warned. Written for a friend for his birthday 9yeah, I know, some friend)

teddyxx

Teddy

Thursday or Friday is fine with me.

I'll give, The clearing house, a read.

I always wanted to be a writer... oh that's right, I am. I remember.

christian