Saturday, March 30, 2019

We got a new puppy, say hello to Bruno. Two bulldogs, what fun.
Sam and I will now have matching bulldogs when we go to the dog park, tres gay

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Tom's Journals?

My best mate, Tom wrote journals, I write journals. Tom died in 2007 (I can't believe so many years have passed so quickly) We were always going to combine the two sets of journals into one book, tentatively called Letters and Lies.

But then Tom died.

And that was that.

Well, I have been thinking about it lately, wondering what happened to Tom's journals?

Tom had great parents, I was friendly with both his mum and dad. I know that Tom's mum, Rita, has died since, but Tom's dad is still alive, but I haven't seen him since Tom's funeral. He was, I presume is, a great guy, but he must be getting on in age. I presume he has Tom's journals.

Could I just contact him now and ask him for the journals? That is my quandary? Just out of the blue, after 12 years, could I be so bold?

Monday, March 25, 2019

Pushing Up Against Me On The Tram

It was a blustery, windy morning, I love mornings like it. I love it when the wind blows fresh and clean. The cool breeze makes me feel alive.

7.30am. I caught the tram at Spring Street.

A guy followed right behind me onto the tram and sat next to me. He was displeased when I sat on the aisle seat and didn’t move over to the window. He mouthed something, mumbled maybe, like fuckwit. I could feel the angst radiate from him. Oh, we have an angry one here, I thought, as he pushed in past me.

He tried to take more room than he was entitled, as soon as we sat down, but I stood firm or, sat firm as the case may be. He was clearly trying to make me pay for not moving to the window seat. He pushed his leg against mine, but I just pushed my leg back against his leg. I’m not adverse to a solid wog boy’s leg against mine, not at all. His leg felt solid and muscular pushed up against mine.

Nice thighs, I thought.

I got out my phone and started writing my journal, as if he wasn’t there at all. (Actually, I started to write this)

He tried to push his shoulders back but, again, I held firm. I pushed back. He squirmed around next to me trying to get more of my space, pushing his thighs, pushing his shoulders, pushing his arse, continually, but I was the immovable object. I wouldn’t budge. Keep going, because I can.

Try all you like, buddy, I thought, but I’m enjoying a big wog boy squirming around up against me. Nose twitch.

I didn’t give in.

Then, when he got off, he tried to step on me as much as he could, as he got off at Swanson Street, but Auntie Elton was singing, You’ve Got to Love Someone, in my ears and I couldn’t have cared less. That gorgeous piano gave me shelter from the storm. 

Have a nice day, pathetic, I thought, so early to be so angry already with the day. I didn’t look up, but I could feel the agro leave me, I could feel a certain calm return.

Sunday, March 24, 2019

Jesus the Dog

I had a dog called Zeus, but I spelt his name Jesus, because I liked to call his full name in the park, "Hey Zeus."

Saturday, March 23, 2019

Watch His Head Explode

We headed off late morning to eat lunch and get Buddy's food in Thornbury.

The sun shone, it was quite a nice day.

We cruised through Fitzroy, neither in a hurry, nor dawdling. There was a car in front of me at the give way sign in one of the back streets, and then there was me. There was a Land Rover Discovery coming towards us wanting to turn right, in front of us. 

The car in front of me went, and then so did I, just as the Land Rover tried to turn in front of me. Really? I thought. He turned out to be some angry loser who lost his shit when I didn’t let him go first. 

He started yelling at me, so I stopped in front of him, his open window pretty much lining up with mine. 

“What the fuck! What the fuck! You should fucking give way to me…” 

“You are turning in front of me,” I said. “Learn your road laws.” 

“You’re on a give way sign!” He was throwing himself around in the driver’s seat pointing at the give way sign. “A fucking give way sign, a FUCKING give way sign.” He seemed sooo pissed off about it, his face had flushed scarlet which was almost funny. At that moment I thought, have you just literally crapped your pants, but I thought better of laughing at that thought. I glanced at his wife in the seat next to him, and thought I bet you cop a backhander too, seeing him so upset about what would amount to a 30 second delay. I wonder what you do to get a fat lip? She looked away.

You are on a give way sign too, I thought. We are both on give way signs, you idiot. 

“Just learn your road laws,” I said. 

"Learn my road laws, LEARN MY FUCKING ROAD LAWS..."

I slipped the car into first and accelerated away, before his head did a Pulp Fiction on us.

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Going on Holidays

We're researching Japan, we're going in 4 weeks.

So many temples, it's beginning to spin my head. Festivals and temples. I've  started a Word document, hopefully I can plot a path through it all very soon.

Tokyo, blossoms, snow monkeys, Kyoto, is what I have so far. And the Toyota car museum.

I only started working it out tonight.

Sunday, March 17, 2019

Ignorance Is Bliss

I never read the newspapers after a mass shooting they are just too much, a feeding frenzy, besides I find that I absorb enough of the facts without ever trying to seek them out.

We bang on about it interminably, now don't we.

In fact, I barely like to acknowledge that it has happened. You know, if it weren't for the media outlets desperate for the latest big news item, if it weren't for the saturation coverage, I could almost miss that it had happened at all, and I'd be much happier for it, and it wouldn't affect my life.

If it weren't for the news services bringing the grimmest of news stories into my life so they can win the ratings, and then, I assume, get a bigger slice of the advertising revenue, I'd not know it even happened, I'd be none the wiser, and I really think that is a preferable way to live.

Saturday, March 16, 2019

Fantastic Beasts, The Crimes of Grindlewald

We watched Fantastic Beasts, The Crimes of Grindlewald, the new JK Rowlings movie. Not a clue what it was about, really, not a clue.

As Catherine Tate's Nan would say, "What a load of shit."

Friday, March 15, 2019


Where does the hate come from? We have to look deep to find the reasons for this, which seems difficult for us to do, what with conservatives defending the terrible, and the very conservative defending the heinous.

I know, inequality breeds contempt. I know conservative policies cause inequality. Trickle down doesn't work. New Zealand, Australia, England, America, except American's seemed to be fooled that conservative policies will save them.

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

George Pell

A friend asked me what I thought of George Pell?

"I think the best thing about George Pell," I said, "Is that I don't really have to have an opinion. Whatever?"

We discussed what we'd like for dinner, after that.

Tuesday, March 12, 2019


We watched Gogglebox. Oh, I reckon Adam could do the whole show in his undies, that would be nice. Those legs.

Monday, March 11, 2019

A Star is Born

We watched A Star is born, or as I like to call it, A Star is Boring. Shot in that upclose and personal style, which I felt made it feel disjointed. We hired it on iTunes, didn't see it at the cinema, so we could turn it off halfway through when we had something else to do.

We had to go to David’s intervention, he's been fucking up on drugs to the point he is going into rehab for 3 months in a few weeks. We just went over to check on him, and to tell him what we think of his current behaviour. He took it well. 

David's cousin Stel has been looking after him, taking him food, but she doesn't want to do it any more. We met to discuss that.

Then it was back to A Star is born. Lady GaGa was good, it was Bradley Cooper I didn't like. The second half was better than the first half. Nyr.

Sunday, March 10, 2019

I Said What?

A friend came to stay. She is a heavy cigarette smoker and smokes pot like a demon. 

She had her phone on loud speaker chatting to her friend for the longest time. She is a techno moron and had said she had just recently got the phone she was using. When I asked her if she knew she could take it off loud speaker, you never know unless you ask, she said that she didn't like putting it to her ear because of the risk of cancer.

I said, "What?"

Saturday, March 09, 2019

Watching Movies

We watched Bohemian Rhapsody, I liked it. I've always been a Queen fan, though. I know their story. I think I had Sheer Heart Attack long before A Night at the Opera came out. I had the first 2 albums, Queen and Queen II.

We watched Crazy Rich Asians. I'd fuck Ronnie Chieng, in a heartbeat, too cute.

Friday, March 08, 2019

Car Alarms

Is there any greater embodiment of misplaced hope than car alarms?