Saturday, March 23, 2019

Watch His Head Explode

We headed off late morning to eat lunch and get Buddy's food in Thornbury.

The sun shone, it was quite a nice day.

We cruised through Fitzroy, neither in a hurry, nor dawdling. There was a car in front of me at the give way sign in one of the back streets, and then there was me. There was a Land Rover Discovery coming towards us wanting to turn right, in front of us. 

The car in front of me went, and then so did I, just as the Land Rover tried to turn in front of me. Really? I thought. He turned out to be some angry loser who lost his shit when I didn’t let him go first. 

He started yelling at me, so I stopped in front of him, his open window pretty much lining up with mine. 

“What the fuck! What the fuck! You should fucking give way to me…” 

“You are turning in front of me,” I said. “Learn your road laws.” 

“You’re on a give way sign!” He was throwing himself around in the driver’s seat pointing at the give way sign. “A fucking give way sign, a FUCKING give way sign.” He seemed sooo pissed off about it, his face had flushed scarlet which was almost funny. At that moment I thought, have you just literally crapped your pants, but I thought better of laughing at that thought. I glanced at his wife in the seat next to him, and thought I bet you cop a backhander too, seeing him so upset about what would amount to a 30 second delay. I wonder what you do to get a fat lip? She looked away.

You are on a give way sign too, I thought. We are both on give way signs, you idiot. 

“Just learn your road laws,” I said. 

"Learn my road laws, LEARN MY FUCKING ROAD LAWS..."

I slipped the car into first and accelerated away, before his head did a Pulp Fiction on us.

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