Who's on What?

Hi, can I speak to Seth?

Do you mean Sel?

No, I mean Seth.

I’m Sel.

Nice to speak to you Sel. Can I speak to Seth?

There is no Seth, just Sel.

But, I don’t want to speak to Sel, I want to speak to Seth.

Well, I’m afraid I can't help you.

Seth?

No, Sel.

Oh. But isn’t this Seth’s phone.

No, it is mine.

And you’re not Seth?

No, I have told you I am Sel.

Sel?

Yes.

Not Seth.

Yes. I mean no. I mean yes. It is not Seth. I’m Sel.

Yes, I got that much, but I am really looking for Seth.

Well, I’m sorry I can’t help you.

Sel?

Yes.

Selwyn Bradley Lachlan Wallace.

Big family? Lots of uncles?

I dunno.

Why else would you have so many names?

My mother liked them.

Catholic?

Yes.

So, lots of uncles.

I guess?

Christmas must have been great at your place.

It was.

Christ mass…

Is that where it comes from?

What?

Christmas?

From the Catholics?

Yes.

Wasn’t that Coca Cola.

Christmas?

I think that was Santa Claus.

Santa?

Yes. Santa was coke.

Santa was?

Why do you think he is red and white.

I’ve never thought about it

Why did you ask?

You said Christ mass

Oh, I said Christ mass?

Yes.

Oh, I think that is just my natural incredulity that people still believe that crap.

silence

I still can't help you, however.

Not Seth?

Not Seth

Oh.

That's what I am telling you.