This and That

I was texting Jill for lunch, her idea was St Kilda, I'm sure. I replied for her to come to Bolago. I was waiting for her reply when I got a voice message. The sounds of "Love really hurts without you," greeted me and then Manny's sexy voice.

He said it was a great song and he'd just got out of the shower and was standing there in a towel, dripping, drying himself.

Jill didn't answer. How rude, I thought. Not even a "no thank you." And from a Fintona Educated girl, I ask you.

I've been avoiding Manny, waiting for myself to heal from my speed induced wank marathon, on Tuesday. Well, I can't exactly have sex with him with a scabby cock. Apart from the niceties, there is his HIV status to think about.

He wanted me to go over and sleep with him on Friday night. I so wanted to, but I couldn't.

We've only slept together a few times. All night, wake up in the morning, sleep together. We both like our own beds. We both like our own space in the morning. We're both stubborn.

Only once, as Manny likes to say.

13.20 - I was lying in the back room snoozing, having lovely dreams, about dark alleys and black cats and young men in sharp suits with pale complexions and wondrous beauty, when Mark's voice woke me.

"I tell you one thing that I want to discuss and you come out with all this vitriol that you've stored, just for such occasions. You must think, Oh Mark's wanting to discuss something, oh here's a defence and then you bash, bash, bash me over the head with it until I shut up," yelled Mark. Then the door slammed and all was quiet.

Mark and Luke are having a slow grind relationship disintegration. Mark and I discussed it this morning before Luke was awake. Mark says he feels as though he just doesn't count in Luke's life any more. Luke does things and makes decisions as though Mark isn't even a part of his life.

More arguing ensued. Something about Luke's showing his arse to some guy. Questions of why that person was so important to Luke. Something about Mark trying to tell Luke how he felt. Something about Luke saving up bombshells for just such occasions. Both of them claiming they tell the other how they feel. Counter claims from Luke about Mark lending someone some money with out telling him. More slamming doors. Quiet.

You may ask why I was so interested in Mark and Luke's argument. I needed a shit and had to wait for them to stop and/or leave, as they were between me and the toilet.

Finally both of them cleared off. Stomped away. Quiet. Bathroom. Toilet. Pants down. Hardly wait. Sit. Let go. Oh the glorious relief. Yes!

Casually look down. Empty spool. "Ah!" No toilet paper.

I'm sure I heard them both drive away.

"Ah!"

I picked my moment. "Now or never." I rushed shuffled through the house to the linen press, pants around ankles, legs apart.

I'm back on my bed. The windows are shaded. I can hear the wind in the trees. Birds cheep. Frogs croak.

I wish Manny was lying next to me, in my arms, warm, cuddly, where he should be. Me hugging him from behind.