The ZZ Plant And The Coby Story

David is hopeless with plants. Terrible, I know that. I have saved a number of plants which I have taken out of his custody, removing them from his clutches.

Dogs, plants, people, I like them in that order. Dogs over people is a no brainer. Plants over people too, they are much nice, easier to understand, and give you so much more joy.

And now that David is in the middle of a nervous breakdown and rearranging his life – cleaning out his cupboards, moving house, moving cities, new car, everything is in flux – he has decided that he doesn't want any plants in his life. So, he bought over an agave and a ZZ plant to me, as I am good with plants.

The ZZ plant was in his bathroom, and I've wanted it for some time. Wanted to save it for some time.

Now ZZ plants are really hardy, considered indestructible. The only way people kill them is by over watering them, with too much love. They pretty much survive on neglect. I don't really understand the neglect, as it is not hard to google what a plant’s needs are. If not, why have them in the first place?

David's ZZ plant looked near death. (looks near death) So, this morning I re-potted it, thinking the roots were probably rotten, been in his bathroom, it made kind of sense, that its soil was, waterlogged, whatever. It was in one of those useless pots that has the saucer permanently attached, and the plant was probably left sitting in water. As I slid my finger down into the pot it seemed like the soil was collapsing though dehydration, and not wet at all.

I text David and asked him when the last time was that he watered the plant? He eventually text me back to say he'd never watered it. Never watered it? Really people, how hard is it?

We took Coby to the dog park with Buddy. She kind of 'went' two dogs. I wouldn't exactly say it was aggressive, more your dominance thing. I can kind of understand, Coby is away from all she knows for the first time in her life, she must be stressed out. She kind of jumped at them and gnashed her teeth. Charged them. She must be feeling insecure, which is understandable, everything is unknown for her right at the moment.

Unfortunately, one of the dogs was little Honey, and her owner Robyn was standing right next to us.

I was surprised. Embarrassed a little. Not that anything really happened, Coby just kind of mouthed Honey's head, but it was sudden and unexpected.

So, I told Robyn the David and the ZZ plant story and how he never watered it. I kid you not. Why? I don’t know. Really? What possessed me? I was a bit thrown by Coby, and looking for a subject changer? Robyn must think I am the most boring person on earth. Maybe I am the most boring person on earth? I cringe at the thought.

She looked at me politely, then she took her phone out and checked it.

Crickets.