Dental Work

I had periodontal work done, the continuing saga of the disaster that is my teeth.

Actually, my teeth are fine, never had a filling, but my gums are crap, that must be a certain type of irony? Is it from far too many years of smoking? Maybe? Some dental professionals do, indeed, push that line. (Many years ago I went to a hygienist who I had to stop seeing because she got increasingly angrier and angrier with each visit when I continued to smoke)

The dental work was fine. First there is a numbing gell, then big needles inside and out. After that all just feel is scraping, and scratching, and hacking, and wrenching. You don’t actually feel any of it, you just experience the movement these things cause. Then the tread from the stitches fell across my face as he stitched my gums back together.

But now I can’t talk.

Sam made me a soft lunch.

I just tried to rinse my lunch out of my stitches. I took a mouthful of water from a glass, which is difficult in itself, then as I attempted to swill it around my mouth, the water shot out the side of my mouth and across the coffee table because I can't feel if my mouth is closed, or not.

Boohoo.

Three hours later, the aesthetic has worn off and it is all beginning to hurt.

Barking Dog

I'm home sick with a cold. And who we call the sad queens who live 4 doors up have chosen today to leave their rat-faced dog in their back yard and it has chosen today to bark non-stop.

It is barking incessantly. I am not exaggerating. I want to kill it.

I'm now lying here thinking it wouldn't be hard to get to their back yard and open their roller door. Three of our yards are open to each other, a leftover from when all us neighbours were friends, but we're the only ones left, I'd only have to climb one fence, the sad queen's fence. It wouldn't be so hard. Push the roller door button, problem solved.

Too Much?

I haven’t been to work for five days, and I’m kind of liking it, and I do, actually, have a sore throat, so I have my sick leave email written, “Suspected coronavirus, won’t be in.” Too much?

Genies and Bottles

If you do dodgy things, keep it to yourself. (my bulldog licking my elbow at this point is not helping the writing process) If there are dishonest practises in which you indulge, participate, don’t admit to them. Nobody wants to hear the tut tut tut. Such admissions only bring criminals undone, open the gates to karma. (Ha ha that is funny if you know my beliefs on karma. Same with being threatened with hell, does nothing to scare an atheist) It is just not good form. 

You are more likely to get caught, as people love to dob other people in. It panders to their inflated sense of right. (So often, though, it applies to everyone else but themselves) 

You know, if you steel money from your dementia affected grandma’s handbag, or take sweets from the slow child next door, none of which I do, what is the point of making it public knowledge, it is only going to give fuel to some nosey narrow minded fool. Be pleased with yourself, you have made it this far, keep mum. 

I thought this the other day when I was doing one of the two things I do, with the second of the things I do in the bag in my hand. You are clever enough to get away with it, now be just as clever to keep it to yourself. 

I was going to write the truth of it on here, but then I decided nobody wants to be confronted with that, just calm your yap, I told myself. I mean, none of you would be in a position to do anything about me and my dodgy (it sounds so much nicer than dishonest, don’t you think?) practices, but once I have put it out there in the public domain, who knows what might happen. You know, genies and bottles, who knows where it leads?

I seldom have the urge to confess, I have the great ability to keep secrets to myself without ever having the need to tell anyone. So I don’t know what I was thinking.

The human race is fucked

A Nasty Business

Wilson Gavin and his bunch of right wing cronies stormed a drag story time imposing their warped views on everyone present, after which he received a barrage of criticism for his actions, and rightly so. Then he killed himself. Yes, that is terribly sad. But, he still stomped all over something pure and innocent. He still pissed all over a mother's right to parent her children. He still sprayed poison all over people who didn’t deserve it. Wilson Gavin is not the victim here, he is the perpetrator. He's become the victim, but let's not forget who his victims were.

The Golden Age

The zenith of human civilisation came in the late 1950s, the car fins tell the story. Take a look at the 1959 Cadillac, Chevrolet, Plymouth. 1959 was the pinnacle of everything the human race has achieved in the history of time. The golden age. (the end of the Golden Age) 1959 was the top of the mountain.

1959. Sixty years ago, when everything that glistened was, in fact, gold, you know, different to today when it is tin being passed off as something special by the marketing department.

And we have been going backwards ever since. A slow and gradual decline, to today where we have our fingers in our ears and we are screaming “LA LA LA LA LA LA,” louder and louder as each Antarctic ice shelf breaks off and disappears forever.

But, back in 1959, car fins were this big. (Arms held out as wide as one can go) mum and dad were all smiles, at least on the surface, and opportunities were boundless for little Johnny and little Jane, well Jane, not so much, when they left school and entered the world. As long as you were white, middle class and heterosexual, life was a dream.

We all left on a jet airliner, dazzled by its brilliance.

Barbie was born, for god sake.

We first see Mr Squiggle.

The Mini is launched.

Bonanza and plain paper copies are launched.

It was the year the music died.

We enter the twilight zone.

Pantyhose are launched.

Skirts were full, jeans were narrow, morals were high, or at least they were seen to be.

That was when the sun shone and the days smelled like peach ice cream.

The pinnacle of the civilisation mountain.

And, the first HIV death. Is that symbolic of society being infected…

It has been a gradual shit show ever since. The rich have seen to that. Planned obsolescence, greater inequality, starvation, famine, hate. Wars to sell ammunition. People collateral damage to the wealthier.

The golden age passed years ago, and we have been scrambling for a better existence ever since.

And now we have ever start to regress. Climate change denial, anti vaxxers, flat earth's, support for authoritarian politicians, let’s face it, even vinyl records, we're going backwards. We are going backwards. we are de-evolving. We're like the Tasmanian Aboriginals, we are losing the art of making fire. (even if the Tasmanian aboriginals didn’t lose the art of fire, it is too good a metaphor to pass up)

We are now denying our demise on a global scale. We are now at the beginning of the end.

Our parents and grandparents saw the best the world had to offer.

For the first time, future generations are going to have lesser lives than the generations that came before them.

Religious Discrimination

So, the religious discrimination laws? More flawed governing from this government, especially since, now correct me if I am wrong, their own enquiry said such laws weren’t needed. Of course, that isn’t what the self righteous wanted to hear. So, even from the outset, the perception is that these laws are coming from a place of bitterness, which comes from the place of thought that a certain group of people got privileges that go against the rules by which it is thought they should live.

So, what are these laws going to do? Laws that set the means by which one group can discriminate against another group. How well has that worked for all of us in the past? Do they (by they, I mean the people passing these laws into, well, law) think the group being discriminated against is going to say, “Oh, okay, rightio, if that is how it is going to be? Fair enough?” You know, because history is full of situations where that has occurred.

What do they think is going to happen? Is this more legislation from a government that doesn’t think? (Morrison’s, Abbott’s, Joyce’s, Andrew’s, Christensen’s, Hastie’s electorates all voted yes to marriage equality)

What are these laws going to do? Bring peace and harmony to the nation? I think not. I would suggest that can’t be found in historic events.

Smooth the relationship between the two groups, the newly legislated oppressors and the newly legislated oppressed? Again, not what I would expect.

How do you think it is going to go? The newly oppressed group has just come through a particularly difficult time in their history where large numbers of their members died, a time where the perception of the newly legislated oppressors was that a significant number of them didn’t care. And now this government is going to give that group the ability to discriminate. Couple that with the fact that the newly oppressed group ranks amongst its members some really vicious queens.

So… we’re heading towards an end well lived for all?

I have a colleague who I have found mildly annoying since she started work. And that is mostly because she is a talker. Oh. Dear god (do you like how I use god ironically?) shut up! And to a lesser extent, because she has that mindless positivity going on, you know, the type that the religiously deluded have. Funnily enough, we had a change of office, and she was moved closer to me, and I have found that I like her, not least of all because she says I make her laugh. Well, recently, she told me about her devout Christian faith and I could feel my hackles rising immediately. You know, old habits die hard when you are suddenly confronted with the enemy. I said nothing, of course. But you know, if someone like that took the religious discrimination laws as a free pass to say bigoted things, I don’t care what laws Scotty from marketing passes, I wouldn’t keep my mouth shut. At work, or not at work, I don’t care.

So logically what are these laws going to do? They are going to set us up for war, that is what they are going to do. You can’t really come to any other conclusion.

This is more legislation that the Morrison govt hasn’t fully thought through, and that is because they don’t want to think it through, because that is not the aim of these laws.

Boyfriends and Bulldogs

Boyfriends

Bulldogs

Bananas

Batteries

Beauty

Baked goods

Bitches, the clever ones

Blancmange, the non human kind

Bristols, the cars not the girls

Bonbons

Best friends

Blossom

Bicycles

Bratwurst

Bluntness

Bees making honey

Buick’s from 1950

Beetles, of the VW variety

Butterflies

Bonfires

Boardwalks

Bookcases

Backgammon

Blogs

Belgium pastries

Blue jeans

Bloke’s bums

Boggle

Brilliance

Blissful

Bohemian

Bouquets

Bungalows

Bumper stickers

Bill of Rights

Boxer shorts

Breathtaking

Bunnies

Brunettes

Banter

Best men

and

Buggery

Bush Fires vs the Conservative's Misinformation

Does it really matter how the fires started, I am sure they start the same way every year. I don't get the point of the misinformation of arsonists? The point of it being climate change is that 10 million hectares, and rising, has burned this year, and at an intensity never seen before. Fires have burned equally through load reduced areas as non-load reduced areas. Fires are starting now in winter, or the non fire season. Rain forests that have never burned before are now burning for the first time, as are other areas that have never burned before. 95% of climate scientists predicted this would happen, and now it is happening. The evidence is irrefutable, from where I am looking at it.

Joyous Statues

Can't you hear the music? Can you see them dancing? 

Purple Flower in the Morning Light

What glorious colours, just beautiful

My Present Fascinations

One of my favourite things at the moment is iced water, because ice makes water zing. It is the best thing. It is the basis of life, after all. It changes what is kind of a boring drink to something thrilling. In the summer, water and ice. You don't have to get any fancier than that. Don't need lemon, don't need bubbles. Just water the way it comes naturally, warm climate and cold climate, contained in some mineral altered sand, glass. (I still have no idea how that happens) Gulp, gulp, gulp, and it all slides down so easily. Just like that, sparkling, as in crystal clean, all the way. Gorgeous.

And lying out flat on the floor, is my other favourite thing. There is something about the firmness of the floor, the solidness perhaps, that relaxes me like nothing else can. It is comforting and chilling (as in chilling out, not a zing up the spine, you understand), it's like meditating, flat out. Maybe it is getting in touch with the plane of the earth, you know, a longitudinal thing. Infinity, maybe. It is how one feels infinity in a physical sense. As far as one can see and feel in any direction is intersecting within. Right on the spot on which you lay? Maybe? Centripetal forces of our souls. Our natural internal hum. Laid out, stretched out, chilled out, passed out, no, not passed out, relaxed… out.

My favourite things, that is, that are not my boyfriend, or my bulldogs. They always take number 1 and number 2 spots, a permanent placement, you may say, I might say.

Rose in the morning sun, which looks like it's pulsing with colour

Write Something...

So, write something. New Year’s resos. Write something every day, that’s the target. A writer writes. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, the days have been gorgeous this year, every one of them, without exception, count them. One, two, three. (Okay, so the acrid smoke smell in the air kind of spoiled it this afternoon, but it was lovely up until then) We've been blessed, with good food, fine weather, and a life many people of the world would want. (Inner city, especially, you know, where I live, the country, nyr, not so much) I so promised, if only to myself, never to use meaningless platitudes, oh well. It being ‘meaningless’ means it is doubly awful. Still, the days have been lovely. (Fires, withstanding)

We've sat around all the holidays and have done very little. We were hampered by the little guy's op and his period of confinement. Still, we took to doing nothing with great ease. More sleep was the New Year’s reso, I have done that with gusto, I am a fucken champion of the sleep, lulled good night, day or night, by the warm air of summer, close your eyes and dream.

We've taken the big guy to the dog park, of course. It doesn't seem to matter to him that the little guy isn't joining us, and I thought the two of them were buds.

I've been reading the online news, as if that wasn't a recipe for wanting to off yourself. Well, not so much death by one's own hand, as death by boredom. Just about everything is click-bait, written for its maximum dramatic affect. Not so much reasoned, sensible debate, or comment. I ache for a good story.

Laughing. Oh, I laugh easily and often. Sam and I do. Everything is the basis for humour. A dark sense of humour is a gift, something special, you can find something funny about anything and everything. Nothing is off limits. Laughter is the best medicine, you know, they say that.

Eat. Come on pig boy, or you fat slag, shove it in your mouth, you know you want to. Stuff it in, shove it down, your arse hasn't got the size of a football filed by accident, there is no mystery there. And everybody gives chocolate as Xmas presents.

Write, read, sleep, laugh, eat and a big fuck off to all the stupid people. That's 2020 in a nutshell.

Oh yes, and hope for the best. Let’s hope, because looking at what is happening with the climate around the world, all we have now is hope.

Gotta Luv the Holidays

Sam’s making a point of not (us) having any dope (this holiday season). Oh yes, how very high road of you Sam, I think. (my boyfriend is bossy, yes he is) How very morally superior. Shrug. You know he has never said no to a joint when offered, however… and that should just mean more for me, but no dope means none for me too. Sad face. Eh! It is probably best, I end up dumb-faced and retarded… oh, um, delayed, diminished. No, it’s true. Reductive, as per Madge Ciccone. Reduced. And, you know, after all these years, it feels reductive now.

But we haven’t been doing much anyway, thanks to Bruno’s recovery from his operation.

The weather has been bloody glorious, perfect in every sense. You couldn’t ask for better.

I was going to ride my bike every day, but I haven’t got it out of the shed once.

And here it is nearly Friday and the holidays are nearly over yet again for another year. Sad face. The days have sparkled like diamonds, the sky has been the most gorgeous blue, everything has been fresh and alive, renewed for the new year. And life is good.

2020

2020, the hindsight year?

Or, is that, the seeing clearly ahead year?

Yeah, probably not either, hey? It will probably just be more of the same. Heading towards our predictable demise as vested interests obfuscate the truth for what end? I'm not really sure. No matter how much money you have, or how wealthy you can claim to be, the SS Human Race is on the 25 degree tilt, the orchestra is still playing, sure, but the waters of demise are lapping at the rich man's feet as equally as the poor man's feet, more and more.

New Years resolutions, I guess they are just the same as always. Read more, write more, sleep more, laugh more, eat more (Less, that one should be less) love more, and tell more stupid people to fuck off more.

Be more.