Too Cold For The Bulldogs

The bulldogs got up with us this morning, but when we looked around a short time later neither of them could be found. Where were they? Back in bed. They'd both gone back to bed.

New Jar Of Vegemite

 

A new jar of Vegemite is always an occasion. I find the swirls in the top of the spread mesmerising with every new jar.

Saturday Out For Lunch

What did we do today? We walked to The Victoria Market and ate Indonesian food on the footpath. I ate beef rending, Sam at ribs.

The bulldogs got a lot of attention, but they always do. The people are enchanted by them, I think, a lot of it is because there are two of them. The street was busy with foot traffic, as you'd expect. 

It was nice. We'd have gone and wandered around the market afterwards but the two boof heads amongst all those people? And I'm not even sure the woofs are allowed in the market.

The rest of Saturday was spent with our feet up.

Sarah-Jane & the Funeral

Right at the beginning of my aunties funeral, my brother Will said hello to Sarah-Jane, my deaf cousin, who has gone blind as an adult, who lives in America. You now have to hold her hand so she can touch you she is so blind and deaf. She's legally blind, not totally blind, she can use a large print phone and computer, but still. I know. 

After that, Will watched me recoil from saying hello to her, just too hard, I thought. He disapproved of my action.

Sarah-Jane is the enemy, though. A religious bigot, bible thumping, Trump supporter, who would use her religious beliefs to affect my life, given the opportunity. 

I've been subject to her sharp tongue on Facebook and other social media apps, as her brother and I have the same name and she has confused me for him. And while Big Christian has been quick to point out that she was getting Little Christian and Big Christian, as we were known in the family as kids, confused, with her apologising, Big Christian has also been quick to point out the she shouldn't talk that way to him either.

And, I’ve never really liked her, that much, not even from when we were kids. She has always been a spoilt, bad tempered little cow, treated special, and acted as if she was special, due to her disabilities. And yes, they are some disabilities, I'll give you that.

I never did say hello to her at the funeral.

I also found out one of my favourite cousins has breast cancer.

All the cousins got together at the end and took group photo, after which I rattled off the names of all the now dead parents quick and asked, "What do you think they would all think if they could see us now?"

Everyone responded, "They'd be pleased."

My Last Auntie

My last auntie died, she was 96. She was lovely, one of those naturally lovely people. My brother Will claimed to me a day, or so, ago, that he thought she was the nicest person he'd ever met.

She was devoutly religious, from the catholic side of the family, so I am guessing they all think she is in a better place.

I always loved that perfect Joan Rivers joke, about Rosie Swartz, she'd died and gone to heaven and everyone thought she was in a better place. No she's not, she had a house in the Hamptons.

Anyway, it is my Aunties funeral today. My brother and my niece are coming down from Brisbane, so we'll have more than a yearly meet up. My sister is picking them up from the airport. They are coming here for breakfast, then we are all going to the funeral.

I've built the fire up from last night, you know how these Queenslanders are about the cold in Melbourne in the middle of winter.

My sister is driving us all to the funeral. I think this is probably a mistake on my part. It means I am dependant on other people and what they are doing. Don't get wrong, I love my family, they are all really lovely, but no means of escape, it's making me nervous already. It is always good to have your own mode of transport out of anywhere you may find yourself, I always think that.

How Cold!

OMG! How cold has it been? Oh, so cold. Goodness me. Fucken hell, freezing! I guess it is winter, hey? And, I know there is a drought, but surely we could knock it off with the rain for a bit. I hope those farmers are happy.

I've been having lots of fun messing around with AI. I knew I'd like it, I'm not sure if I knew how much I'd like it.

My New Laptop Is Ready

My new laptop is ready. IT messaged and asked when it would be convenient to bring it around to my office and set it up.

Oh damn! was my first thought. Now I have to go into the office.

Then I thought, I'd go in on my day off. So I messaged muscles my IT guy and he responded, Its okay, it can wait until next week.

No? What? No, I want to come in on my day off.

That way, it will only take an hour, or so, max? Surely? And I don't have to spend the whole day in the office. 

Grrr! They are all conspiring against me.

My First Foray Into AI

I've been playing around with AI Image Creator, and this is my visual representation of how we feel about what is happening in the world today.

Charlie's Fancy Donuts

Charlie bought home a box of the fanciest donuts you have ever seen, last night. Who knows where he got them, and why? Charlie is not big on explanations.

He put them on the kitchen bench and told us to eat them.

He's perhaps not eating such things since he started on a gym kick, oh I don't know when, 6 months ago, 12 months ago, I can't remember.

He's getting big and buff. You should see his arse in a pair of jeans now a days, the boys getting some form.

Sometime recently, he had to take his shirt off in the kitchen, and didn't he look good. I had to look away. Jasus fuck!

I can't perve on the 22 year old nephew, it's just bad form. And, I don't think about Charlie that way, not normally, no I don't. Only when he catches me off guard.

Anyway, when I was up early this morning, I had a second donut with my 5.30am coffee. Oh, it was really too much, all caramel sauce oozing out and all. I wish I hadn't. I've felt a bit sick ever since.

Signing Into Work

So, the Midget calls me early and wants to know if I am working.

"No, I'm not working."

"So, you weren't working yesterday?"

"No, I wasn't working yesterday."

What is with her, I think, why would she think I am working?

"You know Boris took two today and yesterday off."

"Oh, did she." I did know about yesterday, but I didn't know about today.

So, The Midget tells me she'd have to discuss it with the Big Poo.

"Okay," I say.

However, what The Midget wanted was something pretty simple, so I said I would do it. It wouldn't take long, and they are pretty easy brownie points to earn, I think. And, in a certain sense, justifies me working from home, if you stretch the credulity a touch. See, I do care about such things, sometimes. See.

I sign into work, I do the thing The Midget wanted. I send an email saying I'd done it, at the same time I see Boris is sending emails. 

Grrrrr, I think. Boris is working. Get your acts together people, I think.

I don't wait for a response to my email. I sign off thinking stop bothering me you twats.

Voicemail

I'm taking the dogs for a walk early, and work calls, I ignore it. I must have forgotten to take my work phone call forwarding off.

My phone tells me there is a new voicemail.

My damn phone provider doesn't seem to be able to turn off the voicemail on my phone despite me having contacted them many times to have it turned off.

I hate being beholden to voicemail. Any of my friends who call my phone tells me they have called and I just call them back. Anyone else, thinks they have left me a message and then it is up to me to call them back. It is on me. Calls, I probably wouldn't have answered and without my voicemail betraying me, I wouldn't even know they have made. I strictly do not answer numbers I don't know.

Working from home makes it a bit tricky, with my office phone re-directed, I have to answer calls in work hours when I am working.

Other than that, anyone who needs to get in contact with me, can send me a text message.

Otherwise, ignorance is bliss.

Later, my voicemail tells me it was The Midget from work. Why would The Midget call me on a non-work day? Why? Why? Why?

Later again, I remember Boris took today off, so The Midget wants me to do something. Damn voicemail.

My phone contract is up very soon, and I am giving up 450G of saved data to change to a provider who can switch off my voice mail. Fuck it.

I don't use my phone data. Having worked from home for 5 years, I use my laptop. Don't worry, I am addicted to my laptop just as much as other people are addicted to their phones. I just don't see why I would use my phone's small screen when I can use my laptop's large screen.

AI

If I had a magic wand, I sure would bring these two to life.

I started looking at AI generated images by a guy creating what he calls lad images. They were cute, and work suddenly took a back seat, not that I had much work to do this morning, just setting up for end of month which doesn’t take long.

I liked this guy's gay sensibility and his aesthetic, which is scruffy lad types.

It makes me want to have a go. This guy made out that it was relatively easy to get started to create images, perhaps more difficult to get the exact details you want.

I'm going to do it, I love all that sort of stuff. And I have a computer programmer for a boyfriend, how hard could it all be?

I'm only slightly hesitant, because if I can do it, I know I will love it, and I may well get completely lost in it and do nothing else. Still, would that be such a bad thing?

(It is the reason I haven't updated my blog for 5 days. Oh, I'd made some notes, but pretty quickly got distracted)

I Go To The Gym

Not much happening workwise, and rather than watching endless YouTube posts, I think, I should to the gym. 10.15am. Yes, think it, do it! (That's what David says) I get up and get ready straightaway when I’ve had that thought, otherwise I’d procrastinate, yes, I would.

The sun is shining down quite beautifully, really, as I walked to the gym.

There is some chick is on the rowing machine, right next to the exercise bikes. You know I hate it when people invade my space when I am on the exercise bike.

I like going to the gym during the day to avoid people getting in my space when I work out

There is some ugly chick in the gym doing pull downs. She has big ears, thick glasses, a really short, obviously dyed, black haircut and huge earrings as if her ginormous ears weren’t big enough on their own.

10.25am. Then the fat chick on the rowing machine got on a gynaecological leg spreading machine (oh, I don't know what it is, I'm just saying what it looks like) which is even closer to me. Oo! Please? No! She is huffing and puffing, right next to me. Grrr!

The fat chick continues to spread her snatch right next to me. When she gets up and heads into the gym, I see just how fat her arse is. I wonder if chicks with really big arses like that ever roll around in bed clutching each side of their bum cheeks? I often think that when I see some of the huge arses on chicks.

How do straight boys do that? (Usually, my second thought) I'm used to little arse, those that fit neatly into two hands.

I’m listening to The Beatles, Rubber Soul. 

10:35am. I head downstairs to walk on the treadmill 

10.47am. I head back upstairs to the gym.

Leg press.

10.49am. Some fat guy arrives, the type whose stomach hangs down below the hem of his t-shirt.

Seated row.

Overhead press, seated with dumbbells - 7.5 kilos

Cable pull down

Goblet squats - 10 kilos

10.57am. Boris calls. I don’t take it. I’m at the gym, how can I answer any questions.

Chest press

TRX Lunge

11.07am. I leave the gym. It’s cold and wet.

I am anxious, well, kind of, not very, but a bit anxious to get home to call Boris back. You know, I am at the gym, rather than being at work, but I did start before 6am, after all. I don’t know why I am feeling anxious, Boris wouldn’t even care.

The son comes out again... oh my phone dictation makes me laugh, how many times does your son have to come you, I ask you?... the sun has come out again, as I cross the street.

Boris is straight into me about stuff the auditors want, so I get stuck into that rather than having a shower, as she seems quite anxious about it. Where I don’t really care. Find the paperwork, don’t find the paperwork, I don’t really care.

We’ve had auditors in for a while. Apparently, they have some sort of device/software they plug into our system which brings up every entry that could be dodgy. Boris is not so good at finding all the details they want, so sh keeps hand balling it to me. I wanna tell her that is one of the many reasons I don’t do the manager's job, but I just find what she/they want instead because I am good at it, better than Boris, clearly.

Eventually I go and have a shower.

We ate pesto pasta for lunch.

An Embarrassing Fail

I caught the tram, getting off at William Street. 

I managed to find a cafe open and bought a cinnamon bun to eat with my coffee when I got to the office.

I got to the office 8.30am and made coffee.

My big boss, the Big Poo, came in 8.45am, I presume, to drop stuff off in his office. He said today that I didn't hear him coming, and laughed.

I listened to The Beatles with headphones, of course. I have never really liked The Beatles, but have been getting into them and listening to them lately.

My Big Boss told me that the thing I was working on had been picked up by him, from initial figures I gave him weeks ago. He'd got advise from a big accounting firm, and it had all been worked out.

So, with all my scheming, not only did I not secretly attend the office, I looked like a bit of an idiot trying to complete something that had already been dealt with, conclusively.

We had a bit of a chat. He asked how I was. He asked about the bulldogs, as he always does. We talked about his dogs.

I went and got a coffee. When I came back he'd gone.

I packed up and left, not long after 9am.

So, that was an embarrassing fail, really, when I really think about it.

Oh well.

Going Into The Office

This morning, I am going into work to sort out a problem that has been processed mainly with hard copy documentation.

I have to go into the office to sort it out, I have no option.

So, I have decided to go in this morning. It will only take me an hour, or so.

I haven't been into the office on the company stipulated days, in my case, one day a week because I only work three days week in total, almost for 12 months.

I could go in during the week, but if I do that, it would tend to mean I'd have to stay for the whole day, and I don't want to stay in the office for the whole day.

If I make an appearance when everyone is in the office, it might just draw attention to the fact that I am not going into the office, and cause people to start asking questions.

This way, I can go in, stay an hour, or so, and then leave, and no-one is, quite possibly, the wiser that I have been in, and no, potential, attention to me not going in at other times.

I don't care that it is Sunday, as I don't, actually, live that far from the office, living on the edge of the CBD as I do.

The only flaw in this thinking is sometimes my big boss works in the office on the weekends, let's hope it isn't today, as that would negate the advantages of me going in.

Cancelling Multiple Orders

Sam had made all sorts of deals, and orders, with the new Nintendo whatever it was that was released recently, so he could get the best deal.

Then he cancels, and if it comes to it, returns the one he doesn't want. However, there was one order that he had to cancel in person.

So, we walked the dogs into the city, so that he could cancel the last order.

We ate Indian food for lunch. The wind blew bitterly cold. It was nice in the sun, if you could get out of the wind. Melbourne Central is built with faux laneways imitating old Melbourne, so we ate there out of the cold wind. And then we walked home.

Sunny, Cold, Friday

I take the dogs for a walk early. The day is cold, but the sun shines beautifully. The day is quite nice, despite what I expected. It's cold, but the patches of sun are gorgeous, like discovering a treasure. That winter sun is so lovely.

I finally cut those two badly broken fingernails that I have. I wanted to see how long I could put up with them, as I would normally always trim them as soon as I broke them. Oh, I don't know why, so don't ask. Maybe, I'm bored with life? Maybe it is a masculinity test? Who knows. It was roughly a week.

I go to the gym.

Cold Thursday Morning

It's cold this morning, my fingers are like ice. Do I even have finger tips, I can't feel them.

Of course, those people who, actually, live in cold climates would be laughing at me. If it gets to zero here over night, we'd all be surprised.

It's 5 degrees. We had a low of 4 degrees. (That's 39 degrees for those people who still measure temperature that way)

I have drunk four cups of coffee, and have eaten 3 red bean buns for breakfast.

It's time to pull on a coat and take the bulldogs for their morning walk.

Then, the rest of my day off is mine. I went to the gym yesterday, so I don't need to go again until tomorrow.

I've been re-writing my early blog posts, some of them make no sense at all. Of course, nobody will ever read them again, but it gives me a sense of satisfaction that they are as good as they can be.

What A Lovely Life

It's cold this morning. I'm up early. I'm always up early. I like it. Being up early. That time to myself. Lovely time. Just me. The joy is not to be denied. The middle of winter, dark as it gets, the darkness is actually comforting at that time, embracing, coddling, cozy, darker than a chocolate cookie in the evening, darker than black on black for a night out, darker than my teeth after a night on the shiraz, darker than my butt hole out the back window of a bus. Ha ha, it starts getting lighter soon enough. 

Gotta love a 2 day week. Now, one day to go before my next long weekend, my normal long weekend, well, less than a day, actually, just the rest of the day, what is left of it. Less than a day. We’re on our way. 

What a lovely life, hey. A coupla days. It has a nice ring to it, don’t you agree? A coupla days. Ha, ha, I should remember that when I am moaning about the world to whoever will listen, hey? Making their ears bleed. I only work 3 days. But, just work 2 days, would that make me pleased? I guess. 

Tuesday

Head down, bum up - just how we like our men - first day back after a long weekend. Lots to do. I get stuck in.

I finish at 3pm, taking the dogs for a walk in the gentle winter afternoon sun. It is really glorious that winter sun.

Monday Public Holiday

It rained all day. The winter has really settled in over the last few days, but, I guess, as it is winter, it is hardly surprising. Now we just wait for it to get darker and darker, like my sense of humour as I get older. The state of the world doesn't help, of course. Or does it help? It depends how you choose to look at it, hey.

We headed out yesterday for some Indonesian food in Carlton. That was nice. The dogs came as well, of course.

Then it was home again and back in doors for the rest of the day.

The boys next door cleaned up from their big party on Saturday night in the rain, it looked miserable as I caught glimpses of them the times I headed outside for more wood.

Now, I'm sitting on the couch with Milo, who gets his time in the mornings to cuddle up before the red monsters get up and ruin the day for him.

I'm reading about Kings Birthday Honours and I can't help but think they really just mean nothing at all, the AOs and the COs and the MOs and the BOs and the LMAOs. Scott Morrison got one, seriously? One of the most hated politicians in history, and I give that my own WTF award.

What parochial, try hard awards they really are. It must be embarrassing to accept one. Seriously? What a load of meaningless nonsense.

I pat Milo's soft fur and think about what is real in life.

Cosy and Comfy

It's a cold and wet Sunday. I'm on the couch with my two bulldog hot water bottles on either side. 

It is raining outside, so I don't think I am going to go any where today, so I am going to light the open fire and have a cossy and comfy day on the couch.

And still another day off tomorrow as we have a public holiday, you've got to love that.

Woke

You know, the only thing Woke means is treating everyone equally. Funny how that triggers conservatives.

The only thing diversity programs in schools attempt to do is to promote understanding.

Too Pathetic

The inevitable Trump-Musk feud is finally here – and it’s pathetic. The world’s two worst people are finally having a big, beautiful breakup. Ah, yawn the inevitable falling out. I can't be bothered reading about these two, I feel like I am losing IQ points listening to the two of them.

Americans? What were they thinking Nov 5th?

Cuddled up on the couch, they snored away quietly while I re-organised some Eagles tracks in my iTunes.

Sam was off somewhere doing something with something Nintendo has just released.

Two Bulldogs

Maybe I am weird, but I find so much joy in watching my two bulldogs walk off together like a couple of buddies. It never fails to make me smile.

They are cute the way they kind of shuffle along, side by side, bumping gently into each other as they go.

Their cute bottoms, highlighted by their white patches.

Of course, I love a cute bottom, don't we all, if we were truthful, wiggling as they walk.

I just love seeing them together, a couple of rolly-polly red jam rolls.

Oh Those Farmers

It was raining this morning as I looked out the window, everything was covered in clear, sparkling crystals.

My initial thought was, Oh, that will help the farmers. Then I laughed to myself, what do I care about the farmers. They are a whining bunch. Always complaining about something.

My next thoughts were, what do we get from them? The National Party a bunch of troglodyte conservatives that are climate change deniers, against renewable energy and for fossil fuels that are destroying the world.

And, what are the farmers whining about now? The increased levy to pay for the Country Fire Authority, the increased need for which is fuelled by their climate changing denial attitude to the world.

I believe that city people even contribute towards the levy to pay for the CFA. And I haven't heard the city people complaining.

No, I don't much care about the farmers, it is true.

Still, I guess it is good it is raining.

Funny, the things you think, as you gaze out your window first thing in the morning.

Monday? How Many Ways Do I hate You?

Oh Monday? What can I say? I hate you. It is fairly simple.

No lotto win on Saturday night, otherwise, I would surely not be here, now.

Oh Monday? The worst day of the week, unless, of course, there is a public holiday, then we love Monday so. How fickle we are.

But no such luck, Chico, no holiday today, just the usual regret that I wasn't born a trust fund kid, otherwise, I'd be doing the world party circuit like my old friend Ed. Travelling country to country, continent to continent. One day he is in the Mediterranean, the next day he is in the Caribbean. Art galleries in New York. Fashion shows in Paris. Dinner in London. How lucky Ed is. Lovely Ed. Handsome, carefree, Ed. Trust fund kid, Ed. What a life he led, not a fucking stress with anything in his life. 

Ed won the lotto of life at birth, with his wealthy South African industrialist father.

I used to sit on the beach in Mykonos with him and we’d chat, and he’d laugh, and I’d laugh, he was always smiling, of course. We’d sit until the gorgeous sun set in the west on our days in that golden, nutmeggy hue that it used to.

Ed never had Monday regret in his life, not for one day, never. He wouldn’t know what I-don’t-like-Mondays was all about.

Lucky Ed.

And here I am sitting here on a Monday, with Mondayitis wondering what lovely Ed is doing today?

Overhead Lighting Is Your Enemy

I've always had the belief that overhead lighting is your enemy, all that bright, dazzling light beaming down on you, piece your retinas, no thanks.

So, any overhead lights that I have have always had low powered globes in them. Always.

It's not about how I look, don't get me wrong, it's just your living space is so much nicer when it has soft, warm lighting.

I do the cleaning at our place. Sam does the cooking and I do the cleaning, although Sam does do the dusting and clean the bathroom. I do the vacuuming.

The weekend is cleaning day. Today, when I was cleaning around the fire place it looked kind of dirty down in the dimly lit places by the bottom of the mantle on either side of the fire. So, I got the torch, and with the bright light of the torch shone it was filthy.

Then, I shone the torch down beside the sideboard and the bookcase/desk and it was disgusting. Really caked with dust. Bloody hell, I thought. What pigs live here?

Wow! It was eye-opening. The things you don't notice.