Auntie

It's my great Aunt's birthday today. We were her surrogate children, as she had none of her own. She would have been 106. Auntie was, most likely, a lesbian and it is from who Lottie thinks I got the gay gene. Lottie read the studies which say the gay gene is passed through the maternal side.

"Fine with me," I said to Lottie. "I adored Auntie and I'd be honour to carry her gay gene for the family."

Lottie almost looked impressed.

My niece could be the next, could go either way.

It's funny how I can remember dead people's birthdays, when I forget my brother's. I didn't exactly forget, actually. I have this theory that he remembers mine if I remember his, mine being only a week after his. If it's true, then we all agree and I will never have to wish him happy birthday again.

I went to the toilet mid morning and discovered that I had my underpants on backwards.