Excuse Me!

I was cranky on the tram on the way home. My foot was very sore, it was impossible for me to walk. The tram was empty when I got on at William Street. I got a seat to myself with my bag next to me. Very few people were getting on, it was not the packed tram as I would have expected. So I took out my MX and proceeded to read. Halfway through the city, a woman with severely pulled back hair and a fur walked up to my seat and obviously wanted to sit down. I ignored her.

“Excuse me!”

I looked around and there were many seats still vacant, so I sighed heavily, rolled my eyes at her and moved my bag. I wanted to ask why she couldn’t she sit somewhere else, but I didn’t. I actually wanted to say, you and your ugly hair and your fake fur and your cheap shoes could go and sit somewhere else. But I didn’t. She glanced at me several times, as if she wanted to argue too, but she said nothing.

I raged quietly to myself, as I read my newspaper.

My farts had been excruciatingly bad all day and I soooo wanted to drop one. My stomach grumbled at the thought, on queue. I gurgled softly, silent but deadly. I could feel it vibrate under me. I could feel it's heat in my bum crack. I was pleased.

It stank, really bad.

I so wanted her to say some thing. I was going to say I thought it was her.