I stopped at the lane way, just before work, for a smoke, before I got in the lift for the salt mines. The building work is still going on, on the corner of Bourke Street and William Street; CBW must be the ugliest building in Melbourne and it isn’t even finished yet. The supervisors were standing around in Bourke Street, one in particular, I think I'd like to call Angelo, was on his phone and he came and stood on the other side of the planter box to me to speak. Classic wog boy look. Olive skin, thick black hair, tanned face. Big brown eyes. 5 o’clock shadow at 9am. We gazed at each other, I'd like to think, but, really, I gazed at him.

He winked at me when we caught each other's gazes. Instinctively, in a friendly way, as straight boys do.

I smiled back and imagined him naked.

There were people milling all around the lift doors, as I turned the corner to the lift wells. A lift opened right by me and I slipped in, seemingly unnoticed. I pushed my floor and pushed the "door closed" button quickly. The doors slid shut. Just as they were about to close, completely, a foot protruded through. The doors were nearly together. The foot started kicking, as a wail went up on the other side of the doors, as an arm came through, flailing.

"Ah! AH! AHHH!" As the lift doors parted again, through came another arm and then a bald, rat-faced head.

"AH! AH!" He pushed the doors apart again with a Superman pose. He was short and bald, wearing glasses. "AH! AH!" He was in. He wore a crisply ironed pink shirt. He bristled. Another guy followed him in.

"There was a bunch of secretaries blocking the door." He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I nearly missed it.

I wanted to say, There are six lifts, buddy, you need to calm down. But I said nothing, I was taken a back. And the bald, glasses wearing head stood there and seethed, looking from me to the other guy and back.

He was the first to get off, at one of the small law firms below us. I looked at the other guy, who was laughing.

"I think a few anger management classes wouldn't go astray with that one," I said.

"Absolutely," said the other guy. "Could you imagine working for him?"

"No doubt a partner," I said. "Over extended in an era of rising interest rates."

The other guy laughed again.

I walked to my office thinking, I'd never seen any thing like it.