Gotta Luv P.T.

My first tram ride to work since I started back and a father and his three year old daughter came and sat opposite me.

I left late and didn't have time to walk.

What number will I be next? squealed the little brat.

What age do you think you'll be? said dad.

What number will I be?

What age do you think you'll be?

Nooooo. Giggle. What number will I be?

You tell me what age you'll be.

What number will I be?

Well, if you are three now?

What number will I be!

Oh, for fucks sake, I thought, as she squirmed around on her father's lap. I couldn't help but notice dad smile broadly as she squirmed.

Where are we going on holiday?

Bali.

No, where are we going on our next holiday?

Bali.

No, I told you where we were going.

Bali.

No, you know where we are going?

Bali!

No, we're going to France.

Bali!

Don't you want to go to Paris.

Bali!

Will this ever stop? I'm sure my fingers were twitching. I'd only have to get my hands around the little bitches neck for a few minutes.

Where am I going?

You are going to daycare.

And then where do I go?

You are going to kinder, said Dad. And do you know where you go after that?

No.

After that you will go to school.

And I so wanted to add, And then you'll go to university where you'll meet some guy who'll break your heart and you'll end up living miserable and alone.

Ha, ha! I laughed to myself.

I'm not a morning person, I guess, that is self evident. And children are the 21st century ideology, the mantra for every politician seeking power, working families make this country strong. Funny how over population, the true problem with our planet, is judiciously left out of every environmental debate.

Anyway, who am I to judge, some childless fag. So, I got up and moved, vowing to get up earlier and walk every day in future.