Up at 10am together. Sam made Chinese pancakes and we sat in the lounge room in the warmth dipping into our rolled, fried dough into soy and chilli dipping sauce.
It was a lazy day.
It gave me time to think about my living arrangements. I don’t want to live this way, I’m surprised Shane does. The bottom line will always be that this is my house.
So, when did it start to sour. The most memorable moment for me was the olive oil. I was just thinking about Shane and when the sign of it going bad first appeared. It was the olive oil.
“Um… err… this is very expensive olive oil, not meant for cooking.” (Translation – not meant for your cooking) He was shaking the cask in his hand.” Nervous laugh. And he walked out of the room. When was that? I must look it up?
“I think that was the first “get your own” we’ve had,” I said to Sam.
Sam agreed.
I was just thinking about it, but what it got me thinking about was, if you were Tuli – and he is supposed to be university smart – and you were bought to the house of your interstate lover and you were ostensibly hidden away in his bedroom from his long term house mate, to who your lover didn’t appear to speak, wouldn’t you think less of your boyfriend for living in that situation. Here was a guy who couldn’t get along with one of his, alleged, long term friends. Wouldn’t it make you wonder? Where have I been bought to and who has bought me here? Wouldn’t it make you think?
At one point, when Shane was in the kitchen and I was thinking about him leaving, thinking about the date that I didn’t know. I was, actually, thinking about Guadalupe and that if Shane was leaving on the 21st September she didn’t need to come any more and I could tell Shane to cancel her. So, I asked him.
“Um… what date are you leaving?”
“Oh, I think the 15th of December, somewhere around there.”
Oh, good to know, I thought. Note to self, don’t cancel Guadalupe just yet. I don’t need to worry about the bills. I must get $150 out of Shane for the firewood.
December, not September?
I was taken a back with that news. I’m sure he said September the other week. Oh well, what can you do?
I don’t know about paying off rates by instalment. It just seems like I am paying and paying and paying and paying. Paying by instalments makes me always feel like I never stop paying bills. I reckon it is a cunning plane by those who receive the instalment payments, that if they can get those who pay bills into a regular pattern of paying, then they feel like they never stop paying bills and those who send the bills are more able to rise prices without so many people sitting p and paying attention. Everyone becomes disillusioned and switches off to the misery of paying bills and they end up asleep at the wheel. I’m sure those in charge foster the pay, pay, pay mentality and we all become fatigued at the thought of paying bills.
I think I prefer to pay my rates in February in one payment. It’s kind of like ripping the Band-Aid off, instead of enduring the long slow agonising peel.
We washed the lounge room walls. I don’t know if Mark deliberately, or knowingly, cleaned a patch of the wall around the light fitting over the fire place in the lounge room, which irritated me so much that I had to go to ManFax in Fitzroy to get some sugar soap. We washed the whole main wall. We were exhausted after that, but we will wash the two end walls tomorrow.
A couple of times I said to Sam that I was disappointed that Shane isn’t leaving on September 21st.“Why can’t it be September?”
We cooked pesto pasta, topped with sundried tomatoes and black olives. We had a rocket salad. I made raspberry and port wine jelly with mixed berry fruit set in them.
Shane and Tuli spent the night in Shane’s room, or out, I’m not sure. The only indication of them being here, we have the sound of the front door lock clicking on the latch, or moments spent in the kitchen, with no more conversation beyond, “Hi.”
But, you know, this is what Shane does when he has a relationship, the rest of the world just kind of ceases to exist. He is so co-dependent that his life becomes something different when he has a boyfriend.
It has happened before, when he was with Mark W, it was kind of the same feeling as now, the house becomes too small and it is clear that Shane needs to find his own space. He needs his own place, where it doesn’t matter if he treats his surroundings like they are his own space.
Hi Christian , what a wonderful day , i have feeling good all day , just finished cooking yes i can cook again pork and bok choi cheesecake for desert meat just melted in my mouth . How are you
hi again i just got a uninvited advert and logged myself out
A.
We watched Agatha Christie. I fell asleep watching Neverland.
I wake to, “Switch it off! Switch it off!”
The remote is snatch from my hand and the room is plunged into darkness, more often than not with me facing the wrong direction in the bed.
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