I Walk

10am. I went for a walk. If sitting is the new smoking, I am heading for a premature death. So, that hour long walk every morning, must be doing me some good. Mustn’t it?

I listened to Willie Nelson. Stardust, of course.

I am still feeling very upset about Mark. Upset with myself, as much as I am upset with Mark. My response to him was terrible. I got that wrong. I didn't keep my cool. What to do now? It is moments like this that my yellow streak glows in all its saffron glory. I’m basically a coward, I know that. It is something with which I have always struggled.

I could say I was lost in my thoughts, I could say that, and while it is somewhat true, it is not true enough to say it… I ignored the construction worker’s instructions to use the opposite footpath at the corner of Queensberry and Lygon Streets, where they are re-developing the building on the corner. I had headphones in, but I could still hear her repeating the instruction over and over again, as if she expected me to comply. I don’t have the time, or the inclination, to cross the road to use the other footpath, I know it is probably your job, but sorry luv. I walked down the bike lane on the edge of the car lane coming towards me, closest to the closed footpath, thinking to myself, I can look after myself, luv. I don’t think she was happy, even if I didn’t look back.

And then there was another construction worker further down closer to Bouverie Street, where the construction finished. She took down the tape and said, “Would you like to use this footpath?”

“Yes, thank you,” I said.

Then she explained that the footpath would be blocked for the rest of the week and that if I was going to be walking through again, she suggested alternatives to what I’d just done. “There is a laneway just along Lygon Street a bit…”

“Oh yes, I know it.” And I will use that laneway tomorrow, or the next day, or whenever.

She will go far. She will be in charge one day. She did and said exactly the right thing to me… me, who, I admit, was probably appearing to be difficult, but really, I don’t want to put in all the effort to cross the street, and she handled it with charm and grace.

I felt a certain rekindled love for humanity after she and I had spoken. I did, I am not exaggerating. The sun was shining and I felt a certain spring in my step from her kindness.

11.11am. I got home.

I listen to Steely Dan, Aja.