David Comes to Stay

David came to stay. He's been back from overseas for a few weeks and he's been squirrelled away, nobody has seen him, which always spells trouble. I casually mention he could come and stay here if things got too much for him, so, of course, he did.

He's been staying in a hotel, as he sold his house before he headed overseas earlier in the year, finally going to decide where he really wants to live. He's planning to rent houses in various locations and when he decides where he wants to live, he'll buy himself a house. He has always complained about the cold in Melbourne and wants to live somewhere warmer, except he is never in Melbourne for winter.

The truth is he's been overseas, for the last few years anyway, tending to his sycophants. He was away for eight months last year working, 3 months of which he has been in drug rehab in Asia. Apparently, drug rehab in Asia is very big for the high flyers, as everyone thinks they are just having a holiday from their busy schedules.

(Don’t forget, most drug addicts are fully employed earning money so they can afford that lifestyle. Don’t believe what conservative politician tell you)

David is terrified his clients will find out about him, being the health guru that he is. An internationally respected health and spirituality guru that people flock to. I've had friends tell me they are going to a famous lifestyle guru, only to have them tell me it is David, whose name they speak of in reverential tones.

"Oh god, luv, I met another one who thinks you are a guru..."

"And what did you say to them?" David always replies with a distinct tone of alarm.

You get the picture.

Well, apparently, he had his drug dealer on speed dial as the plane came into land in Melbourne two weeks ago, and he has been off chops ever since.

So, he moved into our spare room telling us he could no longer trust himself.

"So," I ventured, "The 35K in Thailand was money well spent? Darling." Drug rehab doesn't come cheap.

No, he just doesn't get it at all. Apparently, it is all a process, and he'll just have to live with it for the rest of his life.

"Don't you need a little more will power, even to get to the end of the runway before you think about messaging your Guido for a hit?"

He just looks at me blankly.

"It will always be a struggle," he manages feebly.

I have to leave work early to go to the council to get him a parking permit for his car.