Yap yap yap yap yap.
Theidiot is complaining about the tram, as she does every morning when she gets in. Every morning it is the same story.
She is complaining about the fact her coffee shop no longer supplies take away cups. "It's $2 what is their problem," rages theidiot. "The world has gone mad, I tell you."
She doesn’t quite get it, she doesn’t quite get a lot of things. And I now have to listen to it.
Theidiot pronounces ask incorrectly. (I mean, do I have to say more?)
She got moved to in front of me after the most recent renovations. Open plan offices, you have to love them. Theidiot and her off sider Mum. (I have pet names for everyone I work with)
Theidot is complaining about the earth extinction protesters. Then comes the inevitable, get jobs and stop inconveniencing the rest of us.
Yesterday, theidiot was on the phone.
"OMG scary music, it's too loud," she squeals about hold music on the phone. "With a trumpet in my ear, and you know how much I love trumpets."
"Yes," says mum.
"Just no." Theidiot’s inane laugh is almost the most annoying thing. “Just no!” (Laughing like a moron after everything you have said doesn’t make what you said any less moronic)
We had nonstop complaining about the hold music, then when whoever answered,
"Hi Linda? This is… um…” inane laugh. “I don't know who I am today." More inane laughing. She actually revels in being an idiot.
Later in the day, Theidiot scoffs at some story about a company’s/bosses going to jail if an employee dies/develops an illness/commits suicide.
"What the hell is that about," she says. ""This govt has really lost it, when the Bourke Street guy gets a slap on the wrist."
What? I think. I can't keep my mouth shut any longer. "He went to jail for life, what do you mean?"
"Yes, but why was he out on parole in the first place?"
"I don't know," I answer. "Why was he out on parole?"
"I don't know," she says.
"Well, you'd need to know why he was out on parole before you…"
"I think he assaulted his brother."
"Oh… well… do you mean he was out on bail."
"I don' know, what’s the difference," she laughs her inane laugh. "All I know is this govt has lost it.'
"Why has the govt lost it."
"If I said why I might lose my job too."
"What?" I say. "Um, bail, or parole, are not set by govt, they are set by the courts."
She didn't answer. We didn't speak again.
She yaps on against climate change, she yaps on about the court system being broken, she yaps with her terrible conservative ideas, she yaps on and on and on, shit mostly, always shit, actually. I ignore her always, nearly always, which makes me feel a bit weird letting her misinformation go unchallenged, but keeping my mouth shut is the best way for me to be at work, I have learned that working at the awful, black law firm, Apples, Waterclosets and Northcote. What is it they say about today, the stupid are emboldened and the clever are nervous. But, today, I just couldn't keep quiet.
Mum was talking about the recent hot weather. (You guessed it, she talks about her kids alot. I like mum, though, she’s nice)
"You go out at lunch time," Mum says to theidiot.
"I might not go out at lunch time today. Yesterday, something went up my nose and I got a bit of a blood nose," says theidiot. "And now I am too scared to touch my nose."
“And people still annoy you…” says mum. Oh dear god – do you like the way I use god ironically – don’t encourage it, I think.
"Oh yes, and people annoy me with their walking," says theidiot. "They just stop in front of me and look up." Inane laugh.
I put my headphones on now a days and listen to music. I don’t care, this fool makes my ears bleed otherwise.
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